Internet access helps young people and workers achieve their education and work goals more easily than before. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
With the advent of the internet, young people can now achieve their work and study goals far easier than in previous years. Personally, I only partly agree with this idea because I do not believe that the internet has made such a significant impact on the quality of people’s work and study.
To begin with, the internet has made studying and working much more convenient for many people. These days, many students do not need to leave home in order to attend class, as many classes and courses are now offered online. This makes it very convenient for students as it saves them tremendous amounts of time commuting to and from school and therefore gives them more time to do their homework and finish assignments. In a similar manner, many office workers can also now work from the comfort of their own home with a computer and access to the internet. With the use of video-conferencing and email, employees can easily work from home and still communicate effectively with their coworkers whilst being able to meet the demands of work and home life far more efficiently.
However, I do not believe that the convenience the internet provides means that people will achieve their goals more easily. Firstly, achieving work and study goals requires focus and determination. Unfortunately, the internet has become one of the main sources of distraction amongst workers and students these days, hindering their progress on a daily basis. With instant access to social media and online shopping at people’s fingertips, many find it very difficult to maintain concentration for long periods of time. Furthermore, many people would argue that studying online is not as effective as studying in a classroom with face-to-face teaching, and that working from home does not produce work of any more significant quality or quantity than being in the workplace.
In conclusion, I do not believe that the internet has made achieving work and study goals any easier than before due to the distractions that it provides people with.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use adverb form Original: far easier than in previous years Suggested revision: much more easily than in the past Why it matters: The adverb 'easily' is needed to modify the verb 'achieve'.
- 2. Clarify the effect Original: such a significant impact on the quality of people’s work and study Suggested revision: such a significant effect on how well people work and study Why it matters: The revision expresses the intended relationship more naturally and precisely.
- 3. Remove vague wording Original: This makes it very convenient for students as it saves them Suggested revision: This convenience saves students Why it matters: The revision removes the vague pronoun 'it' and avoids repeating 'convenient'.
- 4. Streamline the clause Original: and therefore gives them more time Suggested revision: , giving them more time Why it matters: A participial clause links this result to the preceding time saving more smoothly.
- 5. Use concise transition Original: In a similar manner Suggested revision: Similarly Why it matters: The shorter transition clearly signals the parallel worker example.
- 6. Improve adverb order Original: can also now work Suggested revision: can now also work Why it matters: Placing 'now' before 'also' makes the sequence of adverbs more natural.
- 7. Match plural subject Original: home Suggested revision: homes Why it matters: The plural noun agrees with the plural subject 'office workers'.
- 8. Use concise wording Original: on a daily basis Suggested revision: daily Why it matters: The single adverb conveys the same meaning more directly.
- 9. Name the subject Original: many find it very difficult Suggested revision: many people find it difficult Why it matters: Adding 'people' makes the subject explicit while removing unnecessary intensification.
- 10. Fix comparison wording Original: produce work of any more significant quality or quantity Suggested revision: produce work of significantly better quality or in greater quantity Why it matters: The revision uses the correct comparative collocations for quality and quantity.
- 11. Use natural collocation Original: the distractions that it provides people with Suggested revision: the distractions it creates for people Why it matters: The internet naturally 'creates' distractions rather than 'providing people with' them.
Suggested Rewrites
- far easier than in previous years much more easily than in the past
- such a significant impact on the quality of people’s work and study such a significant effect on how well people work and study
- This makes it very convenient for students as it saves them This convenience saves students
- and therefore gives them more time , giving them more time
- In a similar manner Similarly
- can also now work can now also work
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response is strongest in its well-developed, logically balanced discussion of how internet access improves convenience yet can undermine progress through distraction. Its main limitation is that the stated position shifts from partial agreement in the introduction to complete disagreement in the conclusion, making the precise extent of agreement unclear. The highest-priority improvement is to maintain one consistently qualified position throughout the essay.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both sides of the claim are explored with relevant, developed reasoning, but the degree of agreement is inconsistent between the introduction and conclusion.
State one precise level of agreement and ensure that the conclusion reflects the same qualified position established in the thesis.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses clearly from convenience to limitations, and paragraphs and cohesive devices are used effectively to organize the discussion.
Make the transition from improved convenience to unchanged goal achievement even more explicit to sharpen the central line of reasoning.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible and generally precise, with effective language for education, remote work, concentration, and productivity, despite a few awkward combinations.
Refine less natural phrases about quality, quantity, and the effects that the internet provides to improve idiomatic precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, with most sentences remaining error-free and easy to follow.
Polish word order and modifier placement in longer sentences to make already strong grammatical control more concise.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Internet access helps young people and workers achieve their education and work goals more easily than before. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.