People should never eat meat because raising animals for human consumption is cruel. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
Some people argue against consuming meat due to concerns about animal cruelty. I disagree with the notion that people should never eat meat solely on the grounds that raising animals for human consumption is cruel. There are valid reasons why humans have been consuming meat throughout history, and when done responsibly and ethically, meat consumption can be a part of a balanced diet.
Firstly, it is essential to acknowledge that humans are omnivores, and our evolutionary history demonstrates a long-standing relationship with animal protein. Meat has been a significant source of essential nutrients, including protein, iron, and certain vitamins, which have played a crucial role in human development and evolution. Eliminating meat from the diet entirely could lead to nutritional deficiencies, especially in populations with limited access to alternative protein sources.
Secondly, not all animal farming practices involve cruelty. Many farmers prioritize animal welfare and adopt more ethical and sustainable approaches to animal husbandry. For instance, free-range farming allows animals to roam freely and express natural behaviours, which promotes their well-being. By supporting and encouraging responsible and humane farming practices, we can mitigate concerns about animal cruelty in the meat industry.
Moreover, the complete elimination of meat consumption may not be a practical or feasible solution for the global population. In some regions, traditional diets and cultural practices revolve around meat consumption, and it plays a vital role in their culinary heritage. Instead of advocating for an absolute ban on meat consumption, efforts should be focused on promoting sustainable and ethical practices that prioritize animal welfare and environmental conservation.
In conclusion, while the concerns about animal cruelty in the meat industry are valid, I disagree with the idea that people should never eat meat. Humans have a long history of consuming meat, and it can provide essential nutrients for a balanced diet. But we need to take the initiatives to support responsible and ethical farming practices.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a precise collocation Original: relationship with animal protein Suggested revision: history of consuming animal protein Why it matters: The revision states the intended dietary connection more precisely.
- 2. Choose a precise term Original: animal Suggested revision: livestock Why it matters: ‘Livestock farming’ is the more specific term for raising animals for food.
- 3. Remove unsupported comparison Original: more ethical and sustainable approaches Suggested revision: ethical and sustainable approaches Why it matters: The comparative ‘more’ has no explicit point of comparison here.
- 4. Clarify the result Original: which promotes their well-being Suggested revision: thereby promoting their well-being Why it matters: ‘Thereby’ clearly links better welfare to the preceding actions.
- 5. Remove redundancy Original: supporting and encouraging Suggested revision: supporting Why it matters: The two verbs overlap in meaning, so one is sufficient.
- 6. Remove redundancy Original: the complete elimination of meat consumption Suggested revision: the elimination of meat consumption Why it matters: ‘Elimination’ already expresses complete removal, so ‘complete’ is unnecessary.
- 7. Avoid repetition Original: practical or feasible Suggested revision: practical Why it matters: ‘Practical’ and ‘feasible’ express nearly the same idea in this sentence.
- 8. Use active structure Original: efforts should be focused on Suggested revision: efforts should focus on Why it matters: The active construction is more concise and natural.
- 9. Remove unnecessary article Original: the concerns about animal cruelty Suggested revision: concerns about animal cruelty Why it matters: The general plural noun does not need ‘the’ in this context.
- 10. Fix the collocation Original: But we need to take the initiatives Suggested revision: However, we need to take initiatives Why it matters: The idiomatic plural expression is ‘take initiatives’ without the definite article.
- 11. Sentence rewrite Original: There are valid reasons why humans have been consuming meat throughout history, and when done responsibly and ethically, meat consumption can be a part of a balanced diet. Suggested revision: Humans have valid reasons for consuming meat, and meat can form part of a balanced diet when it is produced and consumed responsibly and ethically. Why it matters: The rewrite removes the dangling modifier and makes its reference explicit.
- 12. Sentence rewrite Original: In some regions, traditional diets and cultural practices revolve around meat consumption, and it plays a vital role in their culinary heritage. Suggested revision: In some regions, traditional diets and cultural practices revolve around meat, which plays a vital role in the local culinary heritage. Why it matters: The rewrite resolves the unclear pronouns ‘it’ and ‘their’.
Suggested Rewrites
- relationship with animal protein history of consuming animal protein
- animal livestock
- more ethical and sustainable approaches ethical and sustainable approaches
- which promotes their well-being thereby promoting their well-being
- supporting and encouraging supporting
- the complete elimination of meat consumption the elimination of meat consumption
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay presents a consistently clear position and develops it through a logical sequence of nutritional, welfare, and practical considerations, using fluent and mostly precise language. The main limitation is that the historical and nutritional arguments do not engage as directly with the cruelty premise as the farming-practices paragraph does. Strengthen the response by making the ethical reasoning central and showing more explicitly why humane production justifies continued meat consumption.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear throughout and is supported by several relevant, well-developed arguments, although some support is less directly connected to the stated cruelty concern.
Link every argument explicitly to the ethical premise, especially by explaining why nutritional need or cultural practice can outweigh or avoid cruelty concerns.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically sequenced, effectively paragraphised, and smoothly connected without overreliance on cohesive devices.
Create slightly stronger conceptual links between the nutritional, welfare, and cultural arguments so they build a cumulative case rather than functioning mainly as separate points.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is broad, precise, and appropriate to the topic, with flexible use of terms related to nutrition, farming, ethics, and culture.
Eliminate the occasional unnatural collocation, particularly 'take the initiatives,' by choosing a more idiomatic phrase such as 'take steps.'
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and naturally, with only rare minor lapses that do not impede communication.
Maintain the strong grammatical control while refining the occasional awkward final-clause construction for a more consistently polished finish.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
People should never eat meat because raising animals for human consumption is cruel. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.