People should never eat meat because raising animals for human consumption is cruel. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Sample Response
The ethical debate surrounding the consumption of meat centres on the argument that raising animals for human consumption is inherently cruel. I agree with this viewpoint, as the industrialized and intensive methods of animal farming often lead to suffering and inhumane treatment of animals. If people stop eating meat altogether, those cruel activities would stop.
Firstly, modern factory farming practices, which aim to produce the meat we consume, are characterized by overcrowded and confined spaces, where animals are deprived of natural behaviours and basic welfare needs. Chickens, pigs, and cattle are often raised in cramped conditions, limiting their ability to move freely and express natural instincts. For instance, battery cages used for egg-laying hens restrict their movement and social interactions, causing immense physical and psychological distress for them. Such inhumane conditions contradict the principles of compassion and respect for other sentient beings and therefore we can stop that by not eating meat at all.
Moreover, the use of growth hormones, antibiotics, and other chemicals in animal husbandry not only raises concerns about potential health risks for consumers but also exacerbates the suffering of the animals. These substances are commonly administered to increase the animals' size and productivity, leading to various health issues and pain. Additionally, practices such as debeaking, tail docking, and castration without proper anaesthesia further highlight the lack of consideration for animal welfare in intensive farming. For instance, undercover investigations in various countries have revealed shocking instances of animal cruelty in factory farms, sparking public outcry and demands for more humane practices. It proved that our meat supplies do not come from places that enforce ethical practices.
In conclusion, the argument against meat consumption on the grounds of animal cruelty is compelling and valid. The industrialized methods of raising animals for human consumption have led to inhumane treatment, neglect of basic welfare needs, and the excessive use of chemicals and hormones. By embracing plant-based diets we can promote a more compassionate and sustainable approach to food production.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Keep British spelling consistent Original: industrialized Suggested revision: industrialised Why it matters: British spelling is used elsewhere, so 'industrialised' improves consistency.
- 2. Use a direct construction Original: lead to suffering and inhumane treatment of animals Suggested revision: subject animals to suffering and inhumane treatment Why it matters: The direct verb clarifies how the farming methods affect animals.
- 3. Improve spelling and collocation Original: are characterized by overcrowded and confined spaces Suggested revision: are characterised by overcrowded, confined conditions Why it matters: The revision keeps British spelling and describes farming conditions more naturally.
- 4. Add the possessive determiner Original: express natural instincts Suggested revision: express their natural instincts Why it matters: The instincts belong to the animals, so the possessive determiner makes the relationship explicit.
- 5. Remove the redundant phrase Original: distress for them Suggested revision: distress Why it matters: The animals are already the object of 'causing', so 'for them' is unnecessary.
- 6. Use a direct general noun Original: our meat supplies Suggested revision: our meat Why it matters: 'Meat' alone expresses the product being sourced without the awkward plural 'supplies'.
- 7. Add the introductory comma Original: plant-based diets we Suggested revision: plant-based diets, we Why it matters: A comma is required after the opening prepositional phrase.
- 8. Name the relevant producers Original: places that enforce ethical practices Suggested revision: farms that follow ethical practices Why it matters: 'Farms' identifies the producers directly, and practices are followed rather than enforced by the same institution.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: If people stop eating meat altogether, those cruel activities would stop. Suggested revision: If people stopped eating meat altogether, these cruel farming practices would cease. Why it matters: The rewrite matches the hypothetical condition with 'would' and replaces the vague reference.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Such inhumane conditions contradict the principles of compassion and respect for other sentient beings and therefore we can stop that by not eating meat at all. Suggested revision: Such inhumane conditions violate respect for sentient beings; people can help end these practices by abstaining from meat. Why it matters: The rewrite separates the ethical judgement from the proposed response and removes the vague pronoun.
Suggested Rewrites
- industrialized industrialised
- lead to suffering and inhumane treatment of animals subject animals to suffering and inhumane treatment
- are characterized by overcrowded and confined spaces are characterised by overcrowded, confined conditions
- express natural instincts express their natural instincts
- distress for them distress
- our meat supplies our meat
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response maintains a clear ethical position and develops a detailed case against intensive farming through specific welfare practices and examples of animal suffering. Its main limitation is some overgeneralisation, particularly the assumption that all meat production is unethical and would disappear entirely with individual abstention; the priority is to qualify these claims and explain why complete avoidance is preferable to reforming farming standards.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is consistent and supported by detailed, relevant evidence about confinement and painful farming practices, though several universal claims are insufficiently qualified.
Address whether humane farming could answer the ethical concern and explain why a plant-based diet remains the stronger solution.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses clearly through two focused welfare concerns, with effective paragraphing, examples, and cohesive links.
Link the consumer-health material more explicitly to the central animal-cruelty argument or remove it to preserve focus.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide and precise across ethics, animal welfare, and farming practices, with only occasional repetition or overstatement.
Use measured terms such as many intensive farms and substantially reduce demand when the evidence does not support universal claims.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is generally controlled, with occasional conditional, tense, and punctuation errors.
Keep conditional forms consistent and proofread tense reference and comma placement in the final sentences of paragraphs.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
People should never eat meat because raising animals for human consumption is cruel. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.