Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this?
Sample Response
[it is important to keep home and workplace tidy and organised] Some individuals opine that maintaining a clean and organized living and working space is a quintessential habit. I agree with this opinion and believe that keeping the surroundings tidy is crucial for a variety of reasons.
Firstly, an organized environment can significantly reduce stress levels as a tidy home can help create a sense of calm and order, making it a relaxing space to unwind after a long day. For instance, when we have a busy day at work, and our desk is cluttered, we are more likely to feel overwhelmed and anxious, whereas a tidy desk can help us focus and be more productive.
Secondly, a tidy space can contribute to good physical health. When we keep our living and working spaces clean, it reduces the risk of allergies and other health issues. For example, dust and dirt can aggravate allergies and cause respiratory problems. Moreover, by having everything in the correct place, we can reduce the risk of accidents and injuries, such as trips and falls.
Lastly, a tidy environment can positively impact our mental health. It can create a sense of accomplishment and pride in our surroundings. A clean and organized space can help us feel in control of our lives, and give us a positive outlook, which can lead to increased motivation and self-esteem.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that keeping our surroundings organized and tidy is essential for both our physical and mental well-being. It can reduce stress, promote good health, and give a sense of accomplishment. Therefore, we should make a conscious effort to maintain an organized and clean living and working space.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove bracketed note Original: [it is important to keep home and workplace tidy and organised] Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The bracketed planning note is not part of a polished essay introduction.
- 2. Fix word choice Original: a quintessential habit Suggested revision: an essential habit Why it matters: Essential expresses importance, whereas quintessential means the most typical example of something.
- 3. Fix pronoun reference Original: it reduces the risk Suggested revision: we reduce the risk Why it matters: The pronoun it has no clear singular antecedent after the clause beginning with we.
- 4. Fix verb collocation Original: give a sense of accomplishment Suggested revision: create a sense of accomplishment Why it matters: Create is the natural verb when no recipient follows give.
- 5. Use natural reporting verb Original: Some individuals opine that Suggested revision: Some people argue that Why it matters: Argue is a more natural verb for introducing a stated opinion in this context.
- 6. Clarify the reference Original: keeping the surroundings tidy Suggested revision: keeping our surroundings tidy Why it matters: The possessive makes the general reference to people's own spaces clearer.
- 7. Use concise signpost Original: Firstly Suggested revision: First Why it matters: First provides sufficient sequencing without the additional suffix.
- 8. Clarify causal link Original: stress levels as a tidy home Suggested revision: stress levels because a tidy home Why it matters: Because makes the causal relationship clearer than the potentially ambiguous as.
- 9. Use direct verb Original: help create Suggested revision: create Why it matters: Create states the effect directly without the unnecessary helper verb.
- 10. Remove unnecessary comma Original: work, and our desk Suggested revision: work and our desk Why it matters: A comma is not needed between the two coordinated conditions in the when-clause.
- 11. Separate claim and explanation Suggested revision: Split the opening stress claim from the explanation about calm at home before moving to the desk example. Why it matters: This would create a clearer claim-to-explanation-to-example progression.
- 12. Link the health risks Suggested revision: Make the shift from allergy and respiratory risks to accident prevention explicit before the final sentence. Why it matters: A clearer transition would prevent the accident point from feeling appended.
Suggested Rewrites
- [it is important to keep home and workplace tidy and organised] Delete
- a quintessential habit an essential habit
- it reduces the risk we reduce the risk
- give a sense of accomplishment create a sense of accomplishment
- Some individuals opine that Some people argue that
- keeping the surroundings tidy keeping our surroundings tidy
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay gives a clear, sustained opinion and develops three relevant benefits—lower stress, physical safety and health, and psychological well-being—with specific explanations and examples. Its main limitation is slight overlap between the stress and mental-health sections, plus a copied bracketed heading that adds nothing; prioritise removing rubric-like text and making the final reason more distinct by explaining how order supports control, motivation and self-esteem.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response directly answers the opinion question and develops three relevant reasons with clear explanation and concrete examples.
Distinguish the stress and mental-health arguments more sharply, and remove the opening bracketed phrase because it merely repeats the task wording.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, three focused body paragraphs and a concise conclusion, with effective referencing and signposting.
Use more meaning-based transitions than Firstly, Secondly and Lastly so that the relationship among psychological, physical and practical benefits feels less formulaic.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise and appropriate, with effective phrases such as sense of calm, aggravate allergies and respiratory problems.
Avoid slightly inflated wording such as quintessential habit and reduce repetition of tidy, organized, environment and surroundings through careful synonym choice.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentences is used accurately, with only minor punctuation and reference lapses.
Refine sentences such as When we keep our spaces clean, we reduce the risk and remove unnecessary commas before coordinated verbs.
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