Many people say that we have developed into a “throw-away” culture, because we are filling up our environment with so many plastic bags and rubbish that we cannot fully dispose of. To what extent do you agree with this opinion and what measures can you recommend reducing this problem?
Sample Response
Environmentalists today are campaigning for “reduce, recycle and re-use” in a bid to save the world, but we as a nation, have adopted “replace” as our mantra. This and many other factors are leading to a throwaway society. In this essay, I shall discuss some steps that can be taken to solve this problem.
To begin with, modern lifestyle has contributed greatly to the increasing amount of waste and garbage we produce every day. In other words, we have turned into a materialistic and mass-consumption society where we use more and throw away more than ever before. Once new things are acquired, we dispose-off these “unwanted” things to second hand shops or just in the trash cans. The solution lies in changing our attitude. We should get old things repaired and try to use them as long as possible.
Secondly, the markets today are flooded with cheap, single-use-only things that are more in demand than high priced quality items. Our houses and closets seem to be overflowing with goods that are more in quantity and less in value. Then, there is too much packaging done by the companies in a bid to make their things more attractive. Here too, the onus lies with us. We should not buy things with excessive packaging. This will deter companies from doing too much packaging. We can also bring our own personal shopping bags instead of using plastic bags provided by stores and shops. Besides, the government can enforce stricter laws on companies to use biodegradable packaging.
Furthermore, plastics, waste metal, glass can be recycled. Companies can also contribute by developing new raw material which is recyclable and will ultimately lead to less garbage.
To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that, individuals, business and the government can share the responsibility to reduce the amount of waste material and to save the earth. If we do not take steps to tackle this problem on a war footing, our Earth will become un- inhabitable.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove subject comma Original: nation, Suggested revision: nation Why it matters: A comma should not separate this subject phrase from its verb.
- 2. Clarify the reference Original: This and many other factors Suggested revision: This consumer attitude and other factors Why it matters: Naming the attitude makes the reference more precise.
- 3. Use plural agreement Original: modern lifestyle has Suggested revision: modern lifestyles have Why it matters: The generalisation is more naturally expressed with a plural noun and matching verb.
- 4. Use natural collocation Original: mass-consumption society Suggested revision: consumer society Why it matters: Consumer society is the more established expression for this idea.
- 5. Choose precise verbs Original: use more and throw away more Suggested revision: consume more and discard more Why it matters: These verbs express the consumption-and-waste contrast more precisely.
- 6. Use concise wording Original: single-use-only things Suggested revision: single-use items Why it matters: Single-use items is the natural and non-redundant expression.
- 7. Sharpen the contrast Original: more in quantity and less in value Suggested revision: greater in quantity but lower in value Why it matters: The revised comparatives make the contrast more natural and precise.
- 8. Use additive transition Original: Then Suggested revision: Furthermore Why it matters: The next point adds another cause rather than marking a time sequence.
- 9. Fix passive phrasing Original: too much packaging done by the companies Suggested revision: excessive packaging used by companies Why it matters: The revised noun phrase removes the awkward passive construction.
- 10. Use specific noun Original: things Suggested revision: products Why it matters: Products precisely identifies what companies package and sell.
- 11. Fix packaging collocation Original: doing too much packaging Suggested revision: using excessive packaging Why it matters: Companies use packaging rather than do packaging.
- 12. Remove redundancy Original: our own personal shopping bags Suggested revision: our own shopping bags Why it matters: Own and personal repeat the same meaning here.
Suggested Rewrites
- nation, nation
- This and many other factors This consumer attitude and other factors
- modern lifestyle has modern lifestyles have
- mass-consumption society consumer society
- use more and throw away more consume more and discard more
- single-use-only things single-use items
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents a clear, logically organised range of practical measures involving consumers, businesses, and government, supported by relevant explanations. Its main limitation is that the degree of agreement with the stated opinion remains more implicit than explicit, while some ideas are expressed through formulaic or awkward language. State the position unmistakably in the introduction and develop the recycling point with the same depth as the earlier solutions.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both the throw-away culture and relevant measures, with a generally clear position and adequately developed solutions.
State the exact extent of agreement explicitly and expand the briefly presented recycling proposal with a concrete explanation.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through causes and solutions, with clear paragraphing and generally effective linking.
Integrate transitions more naturally and develop the short fourth paragraph so that the progression feels less list-like.
Lexical Resource
A sufficient range of topic-specific vocabulary conveys ideas precisely despite occasional awkward collocations and word-form choices.
Replace inaccurate forms such as dispose-off and un-inhabitable with standard expressions and refine collocations around products and packaging.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of sentence structures is used with generally good control, although minor agreement, article, and punctuation errors remain.
Proofread noun agreement and article use, especially in lists and references to businesses, materials, and consumer goods.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people say that we have developed into a “throw-away” culture, because we are filling up our environment with so many plastic bags and rubbish that we cannot fully dispose of. To what extent do you agree with this opinion and what measures can you recommend reducing this problem?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.