The end of the world’s fossil fuel resources and the subsequent changes will be a positive development in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Sample Response
Today’s society overwhelmingly depends on products made from fossil fuels. Most people would initially think about fuel for transport, but of course, fossil fuels are part of most of the fabric of life around us, from the plastics on our furniture to the pavements that we walk on. Changing our reliance on these resources can have various consequences; however, I believe that overall the society will benefit from finding viable alternatives for them.
Depending on whether eco-friendly alternatives are developed, the positive effect on transport and the reduction of the associated pollution will be significant. Exhaust fumes from motor vehicles, planes and ships decrease air quality and contribute to global warming and the greenhouse effect. People’s health and the health of the planet will surely improve without these industries relying on fossil fuels. It could be that a type of transport crisis could develop as a result if society can no longer provide the power to transport so many individuals to where they want to go. This, however, does not have to be a bad thing, as it could force society to use alternative solutions, such as transport sharing and public transport development. The change in mind set has already begun. Some countries have already committed to having fossil fuel free transport and more cities are banning private vehicles from the centre of cities.
Another positive development would be that more time and money would have to be put into developing renewable sources of energy, such as wind power, solar power, hydropower and tidal power. Technologies would improve and be more efficient and again, the world would use fewer sources of energy that cause pollution. This development can also be seen today, with many governments committing to proportions of their power needs coming from renewable resources.
I, therefore, strongly agree with the statement that the changes from reducing reliance on fossil fuels will be positive. The only caveat is that society will need to have developed alternative sources of power rather soon, in order to avoid an energy crisis.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural metaphor Original: are part of most of the fabric of life Suggested revision: are woven into much of everyday life Why it matters: The revision expresses the metaphor naturally and concisely.
- 2. Remove incorrect article Original: overall the society Suggested revision: society overall Why it matters: Society is used without the definite article when referring to society in general.
- 3. Clarify the reference Original: alternatives for them Suggested revision: alternatives to fossil fuels Why it matters: The explicit noun removes ambiguity and uses the standard collocation alternatives to.
- 4. Remove vague wording Original: a type of transport crisis Suggested revision: a transport crisis Why it matters: Type of weakens a point that can be stated directly.
- 5. Improve energy collocation Original: provide the power to transport Suggested revision: supply the energy needed to transport Why it matters: Supply energy is a more natural and precise collocation in this context.
- 6. Use established term Original: transport sharing Suggested revision: ride-sharing Why it matters: Ride-sharing is the established term for sharing individual journeys.
- 7. Express the action Original: public transport development Suggested revision: the expansion of public transport Why it matters: The expansion of public transport states the proposed change more naturally.
- 8. Use concise wording Original: The change in mind set Suggested revision: This change in thinking Why it matters: The revision avoids the awkward two-word form and expresses the idea naturally.
- 9. Fix complement structure Original: committing to proportions of their power needs coming Suggested revision: committing to meeting a proportion of their power needs with energy Why it matters: Commit to requires a gerund, and the revision clearly connects the proportion to power needs.
- 10. Sentence rewrite Original: Depending on whether eco-friendly alternatives are developed, the positive effect on transport and the reduction of the associated pollution will be significant. Suggested revision: The positive effects on transport and the reduction in associated pollution will depend on whether eco-friendly alternatives are developed. Why it matters: The rewrite places the main outcome before its condition and makes the logical relationship clearer.
Suggested Rewrites
- are part of most of the fabric of life are woven into much of everyday life
- overall the society society overall
- alternatives for them alternatives to fossil fuels
- a type of transport crisis a transport crisis
- provide the power to transport supply the energy needed to transport
- transport sharing ride-sharing
Why this response received Band 8.5
The response sustains a clear position through a well-controlled discussion of transport, pollution, renewable energy, and the risk of an energy crisis. Its main limitation is that some support remains general and a few expressions are slightly awkward despite the otherwise precise, fluent language. Strengthen the argument by developing one concrete example of a successful transition and by sharpening the causal links between depletion, alternatives, and social benefits.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The position is clear and the relevant benefits and caveat are explored in a well-developed response.
Add one specific, fully explained example to make the claims about transport or renewable-energy transitions more authoritative.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses smoothly, with well-managed paragraphs, referencing, and cohesive links that rarely attract attention.
Make the transition between the transport discussion and the broader energy argument even more explicit to reinforce the overall line of reasoning.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is broad, precise, and flexible, with only occasional awkward phrasing in otherwise natural expression.
Refine collocations such as proportions of power needs and fossil fuel free transport for consistently idiomatic precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is handled accurately and flexibly, with only rare minor lapses.
Polish the few article and phrasing issues, such as overall the society, to achieve consistently effortless grammatical control.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
The end of the world’s fossil fuel resources and the subsequent changes will be a positive development in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.