People listen to music for different reasons and at different times. Why is music important for many people? Use specific reasons and examples to explain you answer.
Sample Response
Many people believe that music plays an essential part in their life. For a number of reasons, some people think that music is important, and the following essay will explain them in details.
Firstly, a lot of people believe that music has a positive effect on human's cognitive development. Based on some scientific researches, it is found that people who love music are more intelligent than those who do not like music. They could balance their emotional and logical thinking, therefore they could easily adapt to different kind of environments.
Secondly, it is believed that music could also affect to people's performances. It is a fact that fast beat music could positively affect to athletes' performances, therefore these type of music are usually played during the training and the game session. And then it is true that slow instrument music could help people in releasing their stress, therefore they are always played in relaxation places such as in the reflexology, spa or massage centres.
Lastly, some people are relying on music as their source of income. A lot of people do not realise that music industries have created a lot of job opportunities in societies. Some people of relying themselves on music as their main jobs, such as being a singer, music producer, songwriter and last but not least as a music teacher.
In conclusion, it is true that music plays a vital role in our ways of life, as music can affect our mindset and emotions. And then music can also be used as a source of income as well, therefore, we must appreciate music and enjoy them.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural noun Original: life Suggested revision: lives Why it matters: The plural subject ‘people’ requires the plural noun ‘lives’ here.
- 2. Fix fixed expression Original: details Suggested revision: detail Why it matters: The standard expression is ‘in detail’, with an uncountable noun.
- 3. Fix possessive form Original: human's Suggested revision: human Why it matters: The generic noun functions naturally as a modifier rather than a singular possessive.
- 4. Use uncountable research Original: researches Suggested revision: research Why it matters: ‘Research’ is normally uncountable when referring generally to scientific investigation.
- 5. Use clearer reporting Original: it is found Suggested revision: evidence suggests Why it matters: This replacement avoids the vague passive construction and fits the preceding reference to research.
- 6. Keep present tense Original: could Suggested revision: can Why it matters: The paragraph states a general present claim, so ‘can’ is the consistent modal.
- 7. Join result smoothly Original: therefore they could Suggested revision: and therefore can Why it matters: This wording connects the result grammatically to the existing subject and present-tense verb.
- 8. Match plural forms Original: kind Suggested revision: kinds Why it matters: Multiple environments require the plural noun ‘kinds’.
- 9. Remove wrong preposition Original: affect to people's performances Suggested revision: affect people's performance Why it matters: The verb ‘affect’ takes a direct object, and ‘performance’ is uncountable in this general sense.
- 10. Fix agreement Original: these type of music are Suggested revision: this type of music is Why it matters: ‘Type’ and the uncountable noun ‘music’ are singular here.
- 11. Use natural sports terms Original: the training and the game session Suggested revision: training and competitions Why it matters: This phrasing expresses the two sporting contexts more naturally and concisely.
- 12. Use adjective form Original: instrument Suggested revision: instrumental Why it matters: ‘Instrumental’ is the adjective needed to describe this kind of music.
Suggested Rewrites
- life lives
- details detail
- human's human
- researches research
- it is found evidence suggests
- could can
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response’s strongest feature is its clear set of relevant reasons, supported by examples involving athletes, relaxation settings, and music-related employment. Its main limitation is frequent imprecise or ungrammatical phrasing, which makes several explanations sound less credible and polished despite remaining understandable. The highest priority is to develop each claim with a more carefully qualified explanation while correcting recurring agreement, preposition, and word-form errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response directly explains several reasons for music’s importance and supports them with relevant examples, although some claims are broad or insufficiently substantiated.
Qualify the claim about intelligence and explain more precisely how each example demonstrates music’s importance to people.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear topic-based paragraphs and a logical sequence support overall progression, but repeated ‘therefore’ links and vague pronoun references make cohesion mechanical.
Vary logical connections and ensure each pronoun clearly refers to the intended noun, especially when moving between music and people.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary covers cognitive, emotional, sporting, and employment contexts, but frequent collocational and word-form errors reduce precision.
Replace inaccurate combinations such as ‘scientific researches’, ‘affect to’, and ‘slow instrument music’ with standard academic collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay uses both simple and complex structures, but recurring errors in agreement, articles, plurals, and prepositions are noticeable throughout.
Proofread each sentence for subject–verb agreement and countability, particularly forms such as ‘these types of music are’ and ‘different kinds of environments’.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
People listen to music for different reasons and at different times. Why is music important for many people? Use specific reasons and examples to explain you answer.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.