Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges relating not only to the environment but population and education as well. What problems, in your opinion, will your country face in the next ten years? How can these problems be overcome?
Same question Compare 3 different answersSample Response
The world is changing rapidly, and many of these changes make it a far more challenging place for us to live peacefully. Global warming, wars, overpopulation, pollution and scarcity of resources will take the world to a staggeringly difficult situation. In the coming years, the biggest obstacle in front of India, my homeland, is to counter poverty and illiteracy. This essay will discuss these two problems and their possible solutions.
To begin, India is home to more than 1.4 billion people and is one of the most densely populated countries in the world. With a monstrous population and limited resources, people will face poverty more acutely in the coming decade. Cultivable lands are being converted into living spaces, cities are getting more polluted due to overpopulation, and poverty is setting in more deeply as a result. Along with this, the illiteracy rate will increase since poverty affects the literacy rate in any country. They are hard for the government and citizens to tackle, especially in a country that does not have a high budget for education. For example, according to some estimations, 60% of Indians will live below the poverty line in the coming days despite the increase in billionaires in this region, and the illiteracy rate will be higher among such destitute families.
The government has to propose strict guidelines for making primary and secondary education completely free and mandatory as an imminent solution to the illiteracy problem. The local administration, on top of that, should attract children to schools. For example, free meals in schools, in neighbouring Pakistan, have brought good results, and similar things could be implemented in India. As for the population problem, the "one-child policy" should be strictly enforced now. Finally, the awareness programmes and campaigns to educate people can bring some positive results as well.
In conclusion, the biggest challenge for India in the next ten years is to control poverty and ensure education for all. The government, local administration and citizens should contribute together to eliminating illiteracy and controlling rampant population growth.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix situation collocation Original: will take the world to a staggeringly difficult situation Suggested revision: will place the world in an extremely difficult situation Why it matters: English uses “place someone in a situation,” not “take someone to a situation.”
- 2. Use natural expression Original: biggest obstacle in front of India Suggested revision: biggest challenge facing India Why it matters: A country faces a challenge; “obstacle in front of” is unnecessarily literal here.
- 3. Use neutral wording Original: monstrous Suggested revision: vast Why it matters: “Monstrous” is emotive and inappropriate for describing population size in an academic response.
- 4. Use precise term Original: converted into living spaces Suggested revision: converted into residential areas Why it matters: “Residential areas” is the precise term for land developed for housing.
- 5. Describe severity clearly Original: poverty is setting in more deeply Suggested revision: poverty is becoming more severe Why it matters: The original phrase combines “setting in” and “deeply” unnaturally.
- 6. Use clear transition Original: Along with this, Suggested revision: Furthermore, Why it matters: The revision signals an additional consequence more directly.
- 7. Clarify pronoun reference Original: They are hard for the government and citizens to tackle Suggested revision: These problems are difficult for the government and citizens to tackle Why it matters: “They” has no unambiguous plural antecedent in the preceding sentence.
- 8. Use budget collocation Original: a high budget for education Suggested revision: a large education budget Why it matters: Budgets are conventionally described as large or small rather than high or low.
- 9. Use correct noun Original: estimations Suggested revision: estimates Why it matters: “Estimates” refers to calculated figures, whereas “estimations” is unnatural here.
- 10. Match the time frame Original: days Suggested revision: decade Why it matters: “Days” conflicts with the stated ten-year period.
- 11. Clarify attendance goal Original: attract children to schools Suggested revision: encourage children to attend school Why it matters: The revision states the intended action more naturally and precisely.
- 12. Use parallel verb phrase Original: contribute together to eliminating Suggested revision: work together to eliminate Why it matters: “Work together to eliminate” is the natural structure for joint action toward a goal.
Suggested Rewrites
- will take the world to a staggeringly difficult situation will place the world in an extremely difficult situation
- biggest obstacle in front of India biggest challenge facing India
- monstrous vast
- converted into living spaces converted into residential areas
- poverty is setting in more deeply poverty is becoming more severe
- Along with this, Furthermore,
Why this response received Band 7.5
The essay is clearly organised and uses a strong range of language to explain anticipated pressures on India and propose practical educational measures. Its main limitation is uneven task coverage: poverty and illiteracy are introduced as the central problems, but the solutions shift toward population control without directly resolving poverty. The priority is to align each proposed solution explicitly with every problem identified.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are addressed, but the response develops solutions for illiteracy and population growth more clearly than for the stated problem of poverty.
Pair each identified problem with a specific, explained solution, especially a direct policy response to poverty.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear overall progression from problems to solutions, with focused paragraphs and generally effective linking.
Strengthen the connection between the problem and solution paragraphs by using explicit references that show which proposal answers which challenge.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates a broad topic-specific vocabulary, though several forceful or imprecise collocations sound unnatural in context.
Choose more measured combinations such as "rapid population growth" and "poverty will become more severe" instead of exaggerated or awkward phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used with strong control, and errors are rare and do not impede meaning.
Clarify occasional pronoun reference, particularly where a plural pronoun follows several possible antecedents.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges relating not only to the environment but population and education as well. What problems, in your opinion, will your country face in the next ten years? How can these problems be overcome?
Your response
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