You have just spent a weekend staying at a Hotel in London. When you get home you find that you have left a bag at the hotel. Write to the hotel manager. In your letter: - introduce yourself - describe the bag and its content that you left there - explain what you want the manager to do about it
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I have recently stayed at your London Hilton hotel on Park Lane and regrettably left my bag in the room I stayed in. I am writing to seek your assistance and help regarding this and I would really appreciate it if you could courier it to my home address soon. I am Hubert Raymond, a senior executive at the Global management consulting firm McKinsey and had been to London for a business matter. I stayed at your hotel on 20th and 21st September in room 310. After I returned home to Cardiff, on 21st September, I realised that I missed a bag at your hotel. The bag was probably placed in the cabinet beside the bed. It is a medium-size, leather made brown bag that has a large zipper on the top. It has two side pockets and the main zipper was locked. It contains a few dresses of mine, a diary, two fountain pens, a calculator, a PDA and a few important business documents. I really need my PDA and the documents for an upcoming presentation at my office. I would highly appreciate your cooperation in sending the bag to my home address which is stated at the top of the letter. I would bear the courier cost. Please use the 'Same Day Emergency Delivery' service of DHL. Thank you in advance for your kind cooperation. Yours faithfully, Hubert Raymond
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use past simple Original: I have recently stayed Suggested revision: I recently stayed Why it matters: A finished weekend stay requires the simple past rather than the present perfect.
- 2. Capitalise hotel name Original: London Hilton hotel Suggested revision: London Hilton Hotel Why it matters: Capitalising 'Hotel' makes it part of the stated property name.
- 3. Avoid repetition Original: the room I stayed in Suggested revision: my room Why it matters: The shorter phrase is clear and avoids repeating 'stayed'.
- 4. Remove duplication Original: assistance and help Suggested revision: assistance Why it matters: The two nouns have the same meaning, so only one is needed.
- 5. Name the request Original: regarding this Suggested revision: in recovering it Why it matters: The revision specifies what assistance is being requested.
- 6. Use natural expression Original: courier it Suggested revision: send it by courier Why it matters: This is the more natural formal phrasing for the requested delivery method.
- 7. Correct capitalisation Original: the Global management consulting firm Suggested revision: the global management consulting firm Why it matters: The descriptive phrase is not a proper name and should use lower-case letters.
- 8. Correct past tense Original: had been to London Suggested revision: was in London Why it matters: The simple past correctly describes the trip connected with the hotel stay.
- 9. Use natural phrase Original: for a business matter Suggested revision: on business Why it matters: 'On business' is the conventional concise expression for the purpose of the trip.
- 10. Format dates formally Original: on 20th and 21st September Suggested revision: on 20 and 21 September Why it matters: This date format is concise and conventional in a formal letter.
- 11. Fix date punctuation Original: After I returned home to Cardiff, on 21st September, Suggested revision: After I returned home to Cardiff on 21 September, Why it matters: The date belongs with the return phrase and should not be separated by commas.
- 12. Use past perfect Original: I realised that I missed a bag Suggested revision: I realised that I had left my bag Why it matters: The bag was left before the later realisation, so the past perfect is required.
Suggested Rewrites
- I have recently stayed I recently stayed
- London Hilton hotel London Hilton Hotel
- the room I stayed in my room
- assistance and help assistance
- regarding this in recovering it
- courier it send it by courier
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter provides all the practical information the manager needs, including the guest's identity, stay details, a thorough bag description, and a specific delivery request, while maintaining a suitably formal and courteous tone. Its main weakness is recurring awkward collocation and tense choice, compounded by dense presentation. Prioritise more natural phrasing and organise the details into clear functional paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response fully addresses every bullet point and develops the description and requested action with specific, useful details.
Keep the request concise by retaining essential recovery details while trimming unnecessary occupational information.
Coherence and Cohesion
The content progresses logically from the situation and identification to the bag details and delivery request, but the lack of paragraph breaks makes it visually dense.
Use separate paragraphs for the stay details, the bag and its contents, and the requested delivery arrangements.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is varied and sufficiently precise for describing the bag and arranging its return, although collocations such as 'missed a bag' and 'leather made' are inaccurate.
Use idiomatic phrases such as 'left my bag behind', 'a medium-sized brown leather bag', and 'cover the courier cost'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of simple and complex sentences is handled effectively overall, with occasional problems in tense, article use, and noun modification.
Use past simple for the completed hotel stay and review modifier order and relative clauses for more consistently accurate sentences.