There have been several complaints about the reception area where visitors to your company arrive. Your manager has asked you to suggest how the reception area could be improved. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: - describe the complaints that have been made - say why the reception area is important - suggest how the reception area could be improved
Sample Response
Dear Mr Reynold, I am writing to you regarding the complaints about our reception area that we have received over the past few months, and to share my opinion about how to address them. Many visitors stated their dissatisfaction with our reception area and most of the complaints were due to the fact that the place is overcrowded, they often have to wait for a long, and there is no desk to fill in the forms. They also showed their concerns that only one receptionist cannot serve them promptly, and it kills their valuable time waiting and talking to the receptionist. Needless to say, the area where visitors arrive and wait is extremely important as it represents the image of our company and gives the first impression of the organization. Taking this into consideration, it is highly important to enlarge the reception area by annexing the room next to it. Moreover, it would be a good idea to equip the place with an additional sofa set and a desk for the visitors to use. Finally, hiring a second receptionist would be definitely worthwhile. I am hoping that you would look into the recently lodged complaints and implement the suggested changes to better serve the visitors and keep our reputation intact. Yours sincerely, Mark Almond
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Separate the salutation Original: Dear Mr Reynold, I am Suggested revision: Dear Mr Reynold, I am Why it matters: A formal letter should begin its body after the salutation rather than on the same line.
- 2. Place modifier clearly Original: regarding the complaints about our reception area that we have received Suggested revision: regarding the complaints we have received about our reception area Why it matters: This order makes it immediately clear that the complaints were received by the company.
- 3. State the purpose directly Original: to share my opinion about how to address them Suggested revision: to suggest how we could address them Why it matters: The revision states the requested purpose of proposing improvements more directly.
- 4. Remove formulaic opener Original: Needless to say, Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: The importance of the reception area is explained clearly without this formulaic phrase.
- 5. Use the exact term Original: the area where visitors arrive and wait Suggested revision: the reception area Why it matters: The shorter term is precise and avoids unnecessary repetition of its function.
- 6. Correct the collocation Original: represents the image of our company Suggested revision: reflects our company's image Why it matters: Reflects an image is the natural collocation in this context.
- 7. Clarify who perceives Original: gives the first impression of the organization Suggested revision: shapes visitors' first impression of the organisation Why it matters: This identifies whose first impression the reception area influences.
- 8. Use concise transition Original: Taking this into consideration Suggested revision: With this in mind Why it matters: The shorter transition links the importance of reception to the proposed changes.
- 9. Avoid overstatement Original: highly important Suggested revision: important Why it matters: Important already conveys the intended emphasis without an unnecessary intensifier.
- 10. Use precise wording Original: equip the place Suggested revision: furnish the area Why it matters: Furnish is more precise when referring to sofas and a desk.
- 11. Use practical wording Original: an additional sofa set Suggested revision: additional seating Why it matters: Additional seating is a more natural and flexible description for a reception area.
- 12. Remove unnecessary article Original: for the visitors to use Suggested revision: for visitors to use Why it matters: Visitors is used generally here, so the definite article is unnecessary.
Suggested Rewrites
- Dear Mr Reynold, I am Dear Mr Reynold, I am
- regarding the complaints about our reception area that we have received regarding the complaints we have received about our reception area
- to share my opinion about how to address them to suggest how we could address them
- Needless to say, Delete
- the area where visitors arrive and wait the reception area
- represents the image of our company reflects our company's image
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter achieves its purpose very well, giving specific complaints, explaining the reception area's importance and proposing practical improvements in a consistently professional tone. Its strongest feature is the complete, relevant content, while the main limitation is presentation as one continuous paragraph alongside several awkward collocations and one comma-spliced list. Dividing the functional stages into paragraphs should be the first priority.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are fully and directly addressed with specific complaints, a clear rationale and feasible improvements.
Strengthen the managerial request by briefly indicating which proposed improvement should be implemented first and why.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas follow a clear functional sequence and linking is generally effective, but the absence of paragraph breaks weakens organisation.
Use separate paragraphs for the complaints, the importance of reception and the proposed solutions.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is varied and suitably formal, though several combinations such as 'wait for a long' and 'kills their valuable time' are awkward.
Use more natural workplace collocations, such as 'wait a long time' and 'wastes visitors' valuable time'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of sentence structures is mostly controlled, although a comma-spliced list and some article or word-order errors reduce accuracy.
Separate the list of complaints into correctly coordinated clauses and place adverbs naturally, as in 'would definitely be worthwhile'.