You have seen an advertisement in a newspaper for a property management position at an apartment complex. You want to apply for the job. Write a letter to the manager of the apartment complex, and express your interest in the job. In your letter: - mention why you are writing - say why you are suitable for the job - explain how you would approach the position
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam,
Recently, I have seen an advertisement in a local newspaper in which you have invited applications from suitable candidates to fill in the position of an Assistant Manager at your apartment complex. So, I would like to apply for the position as I believe that I have the necessary skills and credentials to do the job.
Talking about my skills and credentials, I worked as a management trainee for almost nine months at a local super shop right after graduating from high school. Later on, I also worked as a customer service manager for almost 3 years at a 3-star hotel apartment. In these roles, I have successfully assisted my senior managers to perform critical managerial duties while also receiving necessary managerial tips to tackle critical issues. To complement these experiences of mine, I also have received a two-year diploma in business management.
Besides, once hired, I would first like to talk to your tenants about the problems they possibly face while also learning about the cost-effective measures to lower your apartment maintenance cost. I hope to meet you and talk in a formal interview at your convenience.
Yours faithfully,
Jerry Ferguson
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use simple past Original: Recently, I have seen Suggested revision: I recently saw Why it matters: The simple past is appropriate for a completed act of seeing the advertisement.
- 2. Use a concise modifier Original: in which you have invited applications Suggested revision: inviting applications Why it matters: The participle phrase expresses the advertisement's content more concisely.
- 3. Correct the verb phrase Original: fill in the position Suggested revision: fill the position Why it matters: The verb 'fill' takes 'the position' directly without 'in'.
- 4. Use formal linkage Original: So, Suggested revision: Therefore, Why it matters: This connector better suits the formal application register.
- 5. Use professional wording Original: credentials to do the job Suggested revision: qualifications for the role Why it matters: This phrase is more concise and appropriate for a job application.
- 6. Improve the transition Original: Talking about my skills and credentials Suggested revision: Regarding my experience and qualifications Why it matters: The revised transition is more formal and avoids conversational wording.
- 7. Use the standard term Original: local super shop Suggested revision: local supermarket Why it matters: 'Supermarket' is the standard term for this type of retail workplace.
- 8. Tighten the sequence Original: Later on Suggested revision: Later Why it matters: The shorter connector maintains the chronology without unnecessary wording.
- 9. Spell out the number Original: almost 3 years Suggested revision: nearly three years Why it matters: Spelling out a small number is more consistent with formal prose.
- 10. Clarify the workplace Original: 3-star hotel apartment Suggested revision: three-star apartment hotel Why it matters: The original noun order makes the type of establishment unclear.
- 11. Correct the complement Original: assisted my senior managers to perform Suggested revision: assisted my senior managers in performing Why it matters: 'Assist someone in doing something' is the appropriate construction here.
- 12. Choose precise wording Original: necessary managerial tips Suggested revision: practical management guidance Why it matters: This wording sounds more professional and describes the learning more clearly.
Suggested Rewrites
- Recently, I have seen I recently saw
- in which you have invited applications inviting applications
- fill in the position fill the position
- So, Therefore,
- credentials to do the job qualifications for the role
- Talking about my skills and credentials Regarding my experience and qualifications
Why this response received Band 7.0
The application is clearly organised, appropriately formal, and supported by relevant management, customer-service, and educational experience. Its main weakness is linguistic naturalness: repeated words such as managerial and critical, together with several awkward verb and noun combinations, make the letter less polished; prioritise more idiomatic collocations and develop the proposed approach to the role with one or two concrete operational steps.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The letter has a clear application purpose and addresses suitability and approach with relevant supporting details, though the proposed approach is relatively brief.
Develop how tenant feedback and maintenance savings would be turned into specific priorities or actions in the role.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a logical sequence and uses focused paragraphs, although some linking expressions are slightly mechanical.
Use a more natural transition into the proposed management approach instead of the abrupt Besides.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for qualifications and property management, but repeated wording and awkward collocations reduce precision and naturalness.
Replace combinations such as fill in the position, hotel apartment, and managerial tips with idiomatic professional language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The writer uses varied complex structures with generally good control, despite several awkward tense and complementation choices.
Review verb patterns and tense choices, especially in phrases such as have seen, assisted managers to perform, and also have received.