You have a full-time job and are also doing a part-time evening course. You now find that you cannot continue the course. Write a letter to the course tutor. In your letter: - describe the situation - explain why you cannot continue at this time - say what action you would like to take
Sample Response
Dear Mrs Rachel, Hope you are doing well. I am Raul Mitra, one of the students who are taking a part-time Oracle Database course with you. Anyway, the reason I am writing this letter is to inform you that I will not be able to continue this part-time course, which I really enjoy with you, for a couple of reasons. The first reason is that I have been handed a few additional responsibilities at my full-time job which means that I would need to spend extra time at my office. And, if I spend additional time at my office, it is highly unlikely that I will be able to arrive at your class on time. The second reason, of course, is that after finishing my office work, when I actually arrive in your classroom, I feel a bit too tired because of spending too much time on the road due to the bad traffic situation. Therefore, based on my situation above, I would really appreciate it if you could allow me to take the course at another time when it is convenient for me, possibly from the June session. I would really appreciate your help regarding this. Yours faithfully, Raul Mitra
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Greeting break Original: Dear Mrs Rachel, Suggested revision: Dear Mrs Rachel, Why it matters: The greeting should be separated from the body.
- 2. Missing subject Original: Hope you are doing well Suggested revision: I hope you are doing well Why it matters: Formal written English needs the subject I here.
- 3. Agreement error Original: one of the students who are taking Suggested revision: one of the students taking Why it matters: This avoids the awkward agreement problem after one of the students.
- 4. Natural course phrase Original: a part-time Oracle Database course with you Suggested revision: your part-time Oracle Database course Why it matters: This sounds more direct and natural.
- 5. Formal opening Original: Anyway, the reason Suggested revision: I am writing because Why it matters: Anyway is too informal for a letter to a tutor.
- 6. Avoid repetition Original: this part-time course Suggested revision: the course Why it matters: The course has already been identified.
- 7. Awkward praise Original: which I really enjoy with you Suggested revision: which I have really enjoyed Why it matters: The course, not the tutor personally, is what the writer enjoys.
- 8. Formal phrase Original: for a couple of reasons Suggested revision: for two reasons Why it matters: This is more precise and formal.
- 9. Natural collocation Original: handed a few additional responsibilities Suggested revision: given a few additional responsibilities Why it matters: Given responsibilities is more natural than handed responsibilities.
- 10. Modal choice Original: which means that I would need Suggested revision: which means that I need Why it matters: Would is unnecessary for the current situation.
- 11. Sentence start Original: And, if I spend Suggested revision: If I spend Why it matters: The sentence does not need And at the start.
- 12. Less heavy phrase Original: it is highly unlikely Suggested revision: I am unlikely Why it matters: This is simpler and more direct.
Suggested Rewrites
- Dear Mrs Rachel, Dear Mrs Rachel,
- Hope you are doing well I hope you are doing well
- one of the students who are taking one of the students taking
- a part-time Oracle Database course with you your part-time Oracle Database course
- Anyway, the reason I am writing because
- this part-time course the course
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The letter describes the full-time job and evening course situation, explains why continuing is difficult, and asks to take the course later. It would be stronger if the requested action were framed as a formal deferral or transfer to the June session.
Use a precise request such as defer my place to the June session and ask whether any form or approval is needed.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas progress logically from course details to work pressure, travel fatigue, and request, but the response is one paragraph and uses informal transitions such as Anyway, And, and of course.
Add paragraph breaks and use formal transitions to separate the situation, reasons, and requested action.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for the topic, but several phrases are wordy, informal, or unnatural, including really enjoy with you, arrive at your class, and based on my situation above.
Use concise course-related wording such as defer the course, attend class on time, workload, commute, and June session.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is clear, but there are errors with sentence fragments, agreement, modal use, prepositions, and cause clauses.
Check each long sentence for a clear subject and verb, and revise agreement and preposition patterns.