You are due to start a new job next week but you will not be able to because you have some problems. Write a letter to your new employer. In your letter: - explain your situation - describe your problems - tell him/her when you think you can start
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am very grateful to you for the job opportunity as an internal auditor in your organisation - KSM Chartered Accountants. I am supposed to join on November 1st, however, I regret to inform you that I can not join on the pre-agreed date. I sincerely apologise for any inconvenience this may cause. Please allow me to elaborate on why I will not be able to join your organisation on the date previously planned. Unfortunately, last week while playing football with some old friends, I severely sprained my ankle. I was rushed to the hospital immediately and took medical care for the next few days. Since my condition is critical and the doctor advised me not to walk for the next few days, it will be practically impossible for me to join your company on the stipulated date. I trust you can understand my dire circumstances. If possible, I would like to postpone my joining date by two weeks and start my work from 15th November. I hope you would allow me to join two weeks later than previously planned so that I can concentrate on my work immediately after joining your office. Looking forward to your reply. Sameed Qureshi
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use appositive comma Original: organisation - KSM Suggested revision: organisation, KSM Why it matters: A comma introduces the organisation's name more smoothly than a spaced hyphen.
- 2. Use formal date Original: November 1st Suggested revision: 1 November Why it matters: This date format is concise and conventional in a formal British English letter.
- 3. Fix comma splice Original: , however, Suggested revision: ; however, Why it matters: A semicolon is required because 'however' joins two independent clauses here.
- 4. Join negative form Original: can not Suggested revision: cannot Why it matters: The standard spelling of this negative modal is one word.
- 5. Remove redundancy Original: pre-agreed date Suggested revision: agreed date Why it matters: 'Agreed' already conveys that the date was arranged previously.
- 6. Correct collocation Original: took medical care Suggested revision: received medical care Why it matters: English uses 'receive medical care' rather than 'take medical care' in this context.
- 7. Use accurate description Original: condition is critical Suggested revision: injury is serious Why it matters: 'Critical' suggests a life-threatening condition and conflicts with the stated short recovery period.
- 8. Link advice to present Original: the doctor advised Suggested revision: my doctor has advised Why it matters: The present perfect connects the medical advice to the current inability to start work.
- 9. Remove weak modifier Original: practically impossible Suggested revision: impossible Why it matters: The modifier is unnecessary because the sentence already gives a clear medical reason.
- 10. Use natural phrase Original: stipulated date Suggested revision: agreed date Why it matters: 'Agreed date' is clearer and more natural for an employment start arrangement.
- 11. Moderate the tone Original: dire circumstances Suggested revision: difficult circumstances Why it matters: 'Dire' is overly dramatic for a temporary injury with a stated recovery plan.
- 12. Use standard term Original: joining date Suggested revision: start date Why it matters: 'Start date' is the natural employment term in this context.
Suggested Rewrites
- organisation - KSM organisation, KSM
- November 1st 1 November
- , however, ; however,
- can not cannot
- pre-agreed date agreed date
- took medical care received medical care
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter communicates the delayed start clearly, explains the injury in relevant detail, and proposes a definite alternative date in a suitably apologetic tone. Its main limitation is that the response is presented as one continuous block and includes several unnatural or overstated expressions. The highest priority is to organise the stages into distinct paragraphs and replace awkward collocations with precise, professional language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response covers the situation, medical problem, and revised start date clearly while sustaining a respectful tone appropriate for a new employer.
Add a conventional complimentary close and phrase the medical circumstances more precisely to make the formal letter fully complete and credible.
Coherence and Cohesion
The message follows a logical sequence from apology to explanation and proposed solution, but the absence of paragraph breaks makes the letter less easy to navigate.
Separate the opening request, injury explanation, revised start date, and closing into clear functional paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
A good range of formal and topic-specific vocabulary conveys the message effectively, although collocations such as "took medical care" and "start my work from" are unnatural.
Use precise alternatives such as "received medical treatment" and "start work on 15 November" and avoid overstating a sprain as a critical condition.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are generally well controlled and meaning remains clear, though there is a comma splice and the closing participial phrase is incomplete.
Use a full stop or semicolon before "however" and write a complete closing sentence such as "I look forward to your reply".
Use this task for your next draft
Feedback is more useful when you actively apply it in a draft, rather than only recognising improvements on the page.
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.
The question will be loaded automatically.