You live in an area where the local council has made some changes to regulations. You believe these changes are not good for the residents. Write a letter to a councillor. In your letter: - introduce yourself - describe the problem - say what you think the council should do about the situation
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am Patrick Moon, a resident of Cabourne, Lincolnshire and a medical doctor by profession. I am writing to express my opposing views on the recent changes that the council have applied recently. I hope you would reconsider the imposed changes as they are against the people's interests. The decision to restrict public entry to Central Lincolnshire Park is not acceptable to most of the residents. Many residents, with whom I have talked in the past weeks, feel very negatively regarding the council's decision. Moreover, the council has decided to impose a weekly subscription fee for the public library access which I believe is not a good move considering a large number of student members. The 'Central Lincolnshire Park' is a place where local residents can freely walk, meet others, enjoy the scenic beauty of mother nature and play with children. It should be open to all. Moreover, the library access should be free to students while you can expect some membership fees from other readers. Please reconsider the changes that have been recently made as they are in no way helping people which is one of the important responsibilities of the council. I would really appreciate it if you analyse the changes and put people's interests above all. Yours faithfully, Patrick Moon
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Separate list details Original: Lincolnshire and Suggested revision: Lincolnshire, and Why it matters: A comma clearly separates the final item in this three-part introduction.
- 2. Correct the collocation Original: express my opposing views on Suggested revision: express my opposition to Why it matters: Opposition to is the natural noun and preposition combination here.
- 3. Use the correct verb Original: changes that the council have applied recently Suggested revision: changes that the council has recently introduced Why it matters: A council introduces regulatory changes rather than applying changes.
- 4. Avoid awkward wording Original: reconsider the imposed changes Suggested revision: reconsider these changes Why it matters: The demonstrative refers to the previously mentioned changes more naturally.
- 5. Use formal phrasing Original: against the people's interests Suggested revision: contrary to residents' interests Why it matters: The replacement is more concise and appropriate for a formal council letter.
- 6. Use natural collocation Original: public entry to Suggested revision: public access to Why it matters: Access to a park is the standard collocation for this restriction.
- 7. Remove unnecessary words Original: most of the residents Suggested revision: most residents Why it matters: The definite article is unnecessary when residents are discussed generally.
- 8. Place adverb naturally Original: where local residents can freely walk Suggested revision: where local residents can walk freely Why it matters: Placing freely after the verb gives the phrase a more natural rhythm.
- 9. Use concise wording Original: scenic beauty of mother nature Suggested revision: natural scenery Why it matters: Natural scenery expresses the same idea more concisely and formally.
- 10. Clarify whose children Original: play with children Suggested revision: play with their children Why it matters: The possessive makes clear that residents spend time with their own children.
- 11. Use a clear reference Original: It should be open to all. Suggested revision: The park should remain open to all. Why it matters: Repeating the key noun removes any possible ambiguity in the reference.
- 12. Refine the collocation Original: the library access should be free to students Suggested revision: access to the library should remain free for students Why it matters: The revised prepositions and verb create a more natural formal request.
Suggested Rewrites
- Lincolnshire and Lincolnshire, and
- express my opposing views on express my opposition to
- changes that the council have applied recently changes that the council has recently introduced
- reconsider the imposed changes reconsider these changes
- against the people's interests contrary to residents' interests
- public entry to public access to
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter presents a clear objection, explains two concrete regulatory problems, and proposes practical remedies in an appropriately formal voice. Its main limitation is presentation and language control: the response is not divided into functional paragraphs, and several awkward or redundant phrases reduce polish, so the highest-priority improvement is to organise the introduction, problems, and requested actions into separate paragraphs while tightening collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The writer introduces himself, explains both contested changes in detail, and makes clear, relevant requests to the councillor.
Frame the requests a little more diplomatically and explain briefly how unrestricted park access would remain workable.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a clear overall sequence, but the absence of paragraphing and repeated use of 'Moreover' weaken organisation.
Divide the letter into an opening, a paragraph for each problem, and a concise action-focused closing.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the topic, although collocations such as 'express my opposing views' and 'library access' are awkward.
Use more natural combinations such as 'express my opposition' and 'access to the library' while removing repeated wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentences is generally controlled, and errors rarely interfere with the message.
Review agreement, article use, and relative-clause attachment, particularly in sentences about the council and library fees.