You bought a new HD television last week. At first, it seemed to work perfectly but after a few hours a line appeared across the TV and the sound seemed a little strange. You cannot take the TV back to the shop so you have decided to write to them. Write a letter of complaint to the shop. In your letter: - give them the background information - describe the problem - ask them to resolve the issue
Sample Response
Dear Mr Bruce, Three days ago I purchased an LG smart television from your store. I was excited when I bought it from your store but very disappointed to find that only after a few hours, the product malfunctioned. I am sure it was poorly produced and I am hoping you would send someone to my house to check it and then replace it. In relation to the specifics of the order, I purchased a 54-inch LG smart HD TV from your brand shop located in the Tandridge District on August 14th using my Visa credit card. The order number is 5874210 and I am attaching a copy of my receipt. The issue with the TV is that a black line appears across the TV screen. Though it disappears after a while, it emerges again if the TV is on for a couple of hours. Moreover, the sound quality is strange and it has nothing to do with the audio settings. The TV is now unusable and I’m sure this is a manufacturing flaw. As a solution, and because I really like the functionality of this television, I am hoping that you will agree to send someone to my house to check it and then replace it with a new one. Otherwise, I would like a full refund. Thank you for giving the matter your attention and I hope to hear your reply soon. Yours faithfully, Isabella Evelyn
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Local fix Original: from your store Suggested revision: The location is repeated in the next sentence. Why it matters: This can be made more accurate.
- 2. concerned to discover Original: very disappointed to find Suggested revision: This sounds firm but measured. Why it matters: This can be made more accurate.
- 3. I was hoping you would send Original: I am hoping you would send Suggested revision: Was hoping is a conventional polite request. Why it matters: This can be made more accurate.
- 4. defective Original: poorly produced Suggested revision: Defective is concise and appropriate. Why it matters: This can be made more accurate.
- 5. Regarding the purchase Original: In relation to the specifics of the order Suggested revision: The shorter phrase is clearer. Why it matters: This can be made more accurate.
- 6. retail outlet Original: brand shop Suggested revision: Brand shop is less idiomatic. Why it matters: This can be made more accurate.
- 7. 14 August Original: August 14th Suggested revision: This is a standard formal-letter format. Why it matters: This can be made more accurate.
- 8. reappears Original: emerges again Suggested revision: Reappears is the usual choice. Why it matters: This can be made more accurate.
- 9. In addition Original: Moreover Suggested revision: This is a smoother neutral connector. Why it matters: This can be made more accurate.
- 10. sound is distorted Original: sound quality is strange Suggested revision: Distorted clearly identifies the symptom. Why it matters: This can be made more accurate.
- 11. adjusting the audio settings does not resolve it Original: it has nothing to do with the audio settings Suggested revision: This states what was tested. Why it matters: This can be made more accurate.
- 12. it appears to be a manufacturing defect Original: I’m sure this is a manufacturing flaw Suggested revision: The writer cannot confirm the cause before inspection. Why it matters: This can be made more accurate.
Suggested Rewrites
- from your store The location is repeated in the next sentence.
- very disappointed to find This sounds firm but measured.
- I am hoping you would send Was hoping is a conventional polite request.
- poorly produced Defective is concise and appropriate.
- In relation to the specifics of the order The shorter phrase is clearer.
- brand shop Brand shop is less idiomatic.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The complaint is complete, specific, and professionally persuasive: it supplies purchase details, explains both faults, and requests inspection followed by replacement or refund. Organisation and tone are strong, with only minor repetition and a few expressions that could be more precise or courteous. Streamline the repeated request, avoid asserting a manufacturing defect as certain, and refine the closing for maximum professionalism.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
Every bullet point is fully developed with useful transaction details and a clear remedy.
Frame the suspected defect cautiously and specify a reasonable response timeframe.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information is logically sequenced and cohesive, though the requested remedy is repeated.
State the full remedy once in the final request paragraph.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is precise and suitably formal, with a few slightly blunt or repetitive phrases.
Use neutral complaint language such as appears to be defective and arrange an inspection.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of structures is accurate and easy to follow, with only minor stylistic refinements needed.
Prefer would in the initial request and keep long request sentences concise.