You have seen an advertisement in an English newspaper for a job working in the City Museum shop during the holidays. You have decided to apply for the job. Write a letter to the director of the Museum. In your letter: - introduce yourself - explain what experience and special skills you have - explain why you are interested in the job
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to apply for the part-time job at your City Museum shop in response to a job advert that was published in the Daily Observer on 27th March 2025. I am a third-year student at Lincon College and my major is history. We are currently on our summer break and I am hoping to gain some valuable work experience and would like to discuss my possible employment opportunity in your museum shop. Our college has declared a summer holiday from 1st June to 30th March 2025. I will be free during these days and would be able to work full-time or part-time as per your requirement. I worked in a local history museum in my hometown for eight months in early 2022. In addition to that, I am quite good with computers and numbers. I believe I would be a great asset to your business. I am passionate about history and museums since my childhood. There is no Museum in this city that I haven't been to. I love your Museum as it has a wide variety of historical objects and an abundant audio-visual library. I know how important the shop is in terms of selling antiques and collector's items to visitors. I am positive that I can boost your sales. I believe that my enthusiasm for history and museum and relevant skills will make me a good candidate for this position. I am ready to discuss further in a formal interview at any time. Yours faithfully, Sandeep Parekh
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Check name Original: at Lincon College Suggested revision: at Lincoln College Why it matters: Lincoln is the conventional spelling, if that is the intended name.
- 2. Concise purpose Original: discuss my possible employment opportunity Suggested revision: apply for the position Why it matters: The original is wordy.
- 3. Impossible dates Original: from 1st June to 30th March 2025 Suggested revision: from 1 June to 30 August 2025 Why it matters: The stated end date precedes the start date.
- 4. Natural agreement Original: as per your requirement Suggested revision: as required Why it matters: This is more idiomatic.
- 5. Specify skills Original: good with computers and numbers Suggested revision: proficient with point-of-sale software and cash handling Why it matters: Concrete skills are more persuasive.
- 6. Present perfect Original: passionate about history and museums since my childhood Suggested revision: been passionate about history and museums since childhood Why it matters: Since requires a continuing perfect construction.
- 7. Capitalisation Original: There is no Museum Suggested revision: There is no museum Why it matters: Museum is a common noun here.
- 8. Lowercase noun Original: I love your Museum Suggested revision: I admire your museum Why it matters: The common noun does not need a capital.
- 9. Avoid assumption Original: selling antiques Suggested revision: selling gifts and museum merchandise Why it matters: A museum shop may not sell genuine antiques.
- 10. Credible claim Original: boost your sales Suggested revision: contribute to strong customer service and sales Why it matters: This sounds more realistic for an applicant.
- 11. Noun agreement Original: enthusiasm for history and museum Suggested revision: enthusiasm for history and museums Why it matters: The general count noun should be plural.
- 12. Complete phrase Original: ready to discuss further Suggested revision: available to discuss my application further Why it matters: State what will be discussed.
Suggested Rewrites
- at Lincon College at Lincoln College
- discuss my possible employment opportunity apply for the position
- from 1st June to 30th March 2025 from 1 June to 30 August 2025
- as per your requirement as required
- good with computers and numbers proficient with point-of-sale software and cash handling
- passionate about history and museums since my childhood been passionate about history and museums since childhood
Why this response received Band 7.0
The application covers all required points and presents relevant museum experience, useful skills and genuine interest in the role in an appropriately formal voice. The serious weakness is the impossible holiday date range, while some claims are exaggerated and several collocations are awkward. Correct the availability details, organise the letter into clear paragraphs and express qualifications in more credible, precise language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
All bullets are developed, but the contradictory dates undermine practical clarity and some claims lack credibility.
Give accurate availability and connect each skill directly to shop duties.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a sensible application sequence, though the one-block format is difficult to scan.
Create paragraphs for introduction, experience, motivation and availability.
Lexical Resource
There is useful job-related range, with recurring awkward collocations and unnecessary capitalisation.
Use standard application language and concrete skill descriptions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning remains clear despite tense, article, agreement and preposition errors.
Check present-perfect time expressions and noun agreement.