You are planning a holiday abroad and will be visiting a town where an old friend lives. You haven't spoken to this friend in a few years. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: - give a brief update of your life since you were last in touch - explain why you will be travelling to his/her town - say what you plan to do - when you visit his/her town
Sample Response
Dear Russel,
Not sure exactly when I heard from you the last time, but it must have been at least a few years since we spoke to each other. You'd be glad to know that I've switched to a different job as a Senior Accounting Manager which actually allows me to roam around different places instead of doing something just by sitting at a desk. Besides, I also run a small café now during the weekend, right across the market near the new stadium, which you saw being built last time you visited me.
Now about the reason why I am exactly writing to you. Actually, I will be visiting your town early next month to help my youngest uncle move with all of his stuff because he got a new job there. Oh, I hope that you can still remember my youngest uncle with some “limited mobility” issue.
However, when I visit your town, I'd also like to enjoy that famous horse race which takes place every year. Besides, I would also like for you to take me to the open street market while I'm there. So, hope to see you soon!
Warm wishes,
David
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add missing preposition Original: right across the market Suggested revision: right across from the market Why it matters: The fixed expression for a location opposite another place is ‘across from’.
- 2. Fix relative description Original: with some “limited mobility” issue Suggested revision: who has limited mobility Why it matters: Use a relative clause to describe your uncle clearly and grammatically.
- 3. Use additive link Original: However Suggested revision: Also Why it matters: This sentence adds another plan rather than contrasting with the previous reason for travelling.
- 4. Use direct infinitive Original: would also like for you to take me Suggested revision: would also like you to take me Why it matters: Removing ‘for’ gives the standard and more natural verb pattern here.
- 5. Improve word order Original: reason why I am exactly writing Suggested revision: reason I am writing Why it matters: The shorter phrase is clearer and places the emphasis naturally.
- 6. Use precise wording Original: help my youngest uncle move with all of his stuff Suggested revision: help my youngest uncle move all of his belongings Why it matters: ‘Move his belongings’ expresses the intended action more precisely.
- 7. Clarify current result Original: he got a new job there Suggested revision: he has got a new job there Why it matters: The present perfect connects the recent job change to the upcoming move.
- 8. Choose precise verb Original: enjoy that famous horse race Suggested revision: watch that famous horse race Why it matters: People normally ‘watch’ a race when describing the planned activity.
- 9. Tighten the life update Suggested revision: Keep the job and café updates, but shorten the desk-work contrast so the paragraph stays focused on what has changed in your life. Why it matters: The opening update is relevant but becomes wordy before the letter reaches the planned visit.
- 10. Clarify the travel reason Suggested revision: State directly that your uncle is moving to your friend’s town and that you are travelling there to help him move. Why it matters: This makes the connection between your uncle’s new job, the move, and your destination immediately clear.
Suggested Rewrites
- right across the market right across from the market
- with some “limited mobility” issue who has limited mobility
- However Also
- would also like for you to take me would also like you to take me
- reason why I am exactly writing reason I am writing
- help my youngest uncle move with all of his stuff help my youngest uncle move all of his belongings
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter maintains a warm, natural tone and gives clear, relevant detail about the writer's changed circumstances, reason for travelling, and intended activities. Its main limitation is occasional awkward phrasing and the imprecise use of linking expressions, although these issues do not impede communication. The highest-priority improvement is to choose more idiomatic collocations and transitions so that the otherwise strong message sounds consistently polished.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear, all required points are covered with relevant detail, and the informal tone suits a letter to an old friend.
Make the planned visit arrangements slightly more specific, such as directly proposing when or where to meet.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter progresses logically from the personal update to the travel reason and planned activities, with clear paragraphing.
Use transitions more precisely, especially where words such as 'However' do not express a genuine contrast.
Lexical Resource
A sufficiently flexible range conveys personal news and travel plans clearly, despite a few awkward collocations.
Replace phrases such as 'roam around different places' and 'open street market' with more natural, context-specific wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is handled with generally good control, and the few lapses do not affect clarity.
Refine article, preposition, and clause choices in longer sentences to make the informal style more consistently natural.