A friend of yours invited you to a home party he/she arranged. However, you have just missed this party. Now you want to apologise for not attending it. Write a letter to your friend to apologise. In your letter: - apologise to your friend - explain why you did not attend the party - say what you plan to do to make up for missing the party
Sample Response
Dear Graham,
Hope all is well at your end. But, before anything else, please let me apologise to you because I couldn’t attend the party, which you organised about a week ago, despite my best efforts and intention.
And the reason, for which I missed your party, is that I needed to travel out of town the day before I was supposed to attend your party because I needed to spend some time in the company of my youngest uncle. By the way, this uncle of mine, living and working abroad, has arrived in the country very recently rather unexpectedly on a short trip, and he had requested me to accompany him as well as do some choirs before he departed the town. I thought that I still could make it to your party but things got a bit too hectic on my end as I was trying to help my uncle with his travel and choirs.
But, of course, I'm free now. So, how about going camping and fishing this coming weekend, together? I'm sure, it is going to be just as fun as before.
Best regards,
Mike
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Avoid starting with But Original: But, before anything else Suggested revision: Before anything else Why it matters: The opening does not need 'But'.
- 2. Plural noun Original: despite my best efforts and intention Suggested revision: despite my best efforts and intentions Why it matters: The plural form is more natural here.
- 3. Remove extra punctuation Original: And the reason, for which I missed your party, is that Suggested revision: The reason I missed your party is that Why it matters: The commas and 'for which' make the sentence unnecessarily awkward.
- 4. Natural wording Original: spend some time in the company of my youngest uncle Suggested revision: spend some time with my youngest uncle Why it matters: This is simpler and more natural.
- 5. Tense sequence Original: this uncle of mine, living and working abroad, has arrived Suggested revision: this uncle of mine, who lives and works abroad, had arrived Why it matters: The event happened before the party, so past perfect is clearer.
- 6. Adverb order Original: very recently rather unexpectedly Suggested revision: very recently and unexpectedly Why it matters: The two adverbs need a clearer link.
- 7. Wrong word Original: do some choirs Suggested revision: do some chores Why it matters: 'Choirs' are singing groups; the intended word is 'chores'.
- 8. Preposition use Original: before he departed the town Suggested revision: before he left town Why it matters: This is the natural phrase.
- 9. Smoother link Original: but things got a bit too hectic Suggested revision: However, things became too hectic Why it matters: This is more formal and controlled.
- 10. Informal phrase Original: on my end Suggested revision: for me Why it matters: The phrase is understandable but less natural in this letter.
- 11. Wrong word repeated Original: with his travel and choirs Suggested revision: with his travel and chores Why it matters: The same word-choice error appears again.
- 12. Remove comma Original: I'm sure, it is going to be Suggested revision: I'm sure it is going to be Why it matters: No comma is needed after 'sure'.
Suggested Rewrites
- But, before anything else Before anything else
- despite my best efforts and intention despite my best efforts and intentions
- And the reason, for which I missed your party, is that The reason I missed your party is that
- spend some time in the company of my youngest uncle spend some time with my youngest uncle
- this uncle of mine, living and working abroad, has arrived this uncle of mine, who lives and works abroad, had arrived
- very recently rather unexpectedly very recently and unexpectedly
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The letter apologises, explains the unexpected uncle visit, and suggests camping and fishing to make up for missing the party. The purpose is clear, but the reason is overexplained and the make-up plan could be more directly connected to the friend's missed event.
Give a shorter reason and add one sentence acknowledging the friend's effort in arranging the party.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is present and the sequence is logical, but some sentences are overloaded with subordinate clauses and repeated phrasing.
Break the long explanation paragraph into shorter sentences and avoid repeated 'the reason' wording.
Lexical Resource
The friendly vocabulary is mostly appropriate, but several word choices are inaccurate or unnatural, especially 'choirs' for 'chores'.
Replace inaccurate words and use simpler personal language for the apology.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
There are noticeable punctuation, preposition, and clause-control errors, though meaning remains clear.
Remove unnecessary commas and proofread long sentences for subject-verb links and correct nouns.