Band 7.5 IELTS General Training Writing Task 1 Correction

One of your friends recently had a birthday celebration, but you missed it and you forgot to tell your friend that you couldn't attend. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, apologise for missing the birthday celebration explain why you missed it and why you didn't tell your friend and say what you would like to do to show that you are sorry Dear..................,

Sample Response

Dear Benjamin, Hope you are enjoying your life and your newly-found career. But, before anything else, please allow me to apologize to you first since I couldn’t attend your birthday. Even more frustrating for me is the fact that I couldn’t write to you early enough to tell you why I couldn’t attend your birthday. Anyway, the reason, for which, I couldn’t attend your birthday is that I fell sick with nausea and stomach pain (probably because of some kind of food poisoning) just before the night of your birthday. Then, as soon as I felt little better two days later, I had to travel to another city because one of my foreign bosses arrived in our country, and I needed to accompany him for the next couple of days. So, you can guess how hectic the last few days have really been for me, so much so that I even forgot to write to you earlier and say that I am sorry. Anyway, let bygones be bygones, and please allow me to say "Happy Birthday" once again. I would also like to take you to the most upscale restaurant in the town and buy you the most expensive and best dish that you have eaten. See you soon. Warm wishes, Bevan

IELTS Writing Correction

  • 1. Add subject Original: Dear Benjamin, Hope you are enjoying Suggested revision: Dear Benjamin, I hope you are enjoying Why it matters: After the greeting, the sentence needs the subject “I” for a complete opening.
  • 2. Smoother opening Original: But, before anything else Suggested revision: Before anything else Why it matters: Starting with “But” is unnecessary because there is no clear contrast with the previous sentence.
  • 3. Natural apology Original: apologize to you first Suggested revision: apologise first Why it matters: The shorter phrase sounds more natural in a personal letter.
  • 4. Name the event Original: I couldn’t attend your birthday Suggested revision: I couldn’t attend your birthday celebration Why it matters: The task is about the birthday celebration, so naming the event is more precise.
  • 5. Focus on friend Original: Even more frustrating for me Suggested revision: I also feel terrible Why it matters: This keeps the apology centred on the friend rather than mainly on the writer’s frustration.
  • 6. Remove commas Original: the reason, for which, I couldn’t attend Suggested revision: the reason I couldn’t attend Why it matters: The commas around “for which” are incorrect, and the simpler structure is clearer.
  • 7. Missing article Original: I felt little better Suggested revision: I felt a little better Why it matters: The phrase needs the article “a”.
  • 8. Natural role Original: one of my foreign bosses Suggested revision: one of my overseas managers Why it matters: “Foreign bosses” can sound awkward; “overseas managers” is smoother and more professional.
  • 9. Reduce casual filler Original: So, you can guess Suggested revision: As you can imagine Why it matters: This link is more natural and slightly less filler-like.
  • 10. Apology tone Original: let bygones be bygones Suggested revision: I really hope you can forgive me Why it matters: “Let bygones be bygones” can sound dismissive when the writer is the person apologising.
  • 11. Article choice Original: the most upscale restaurant in the town Suggested revision: the most upscale restaurant in town Why it matters: “In town” is the natural expression here.
  • 12. Avoid exaggeration Original: the most expensive and best dish Suggested revision: your favourite dish Why it matters: This sounds warmer and more believable than promising the most expensive dish.

Suggested Rewrites

  • Dear Benjamin, Hope you are enjoying Dear Benjamin, I hope you are enjoying
  • But, before anything else Before anything else
  • apologize to you first apologise first
  • I couldn’t attend your birthday I couldn’t attend your birthday celebration
  • Even more frustrating for me I also feel terrible
  • the reason, for which, I couldn’t attend the reason I couldn’t attend
Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.

TA

Task Achievement

8.0
Feedback

The letter clearly apologises, explains both the illness and the later work obligation, and offers a concrete way to make amends. The friendly purpose is achieved, though the reason for not informing the friend is slightly over-explained and the phrase “let bygones be bygones” weakens the apology.

Next step

Keep the full task coverage but make the apology warmer and more direct, especially when explaining why you did not contact Benjamin earlier.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

7.5
Feedback

The response has a clear progression from greeting to apology, explanation, and proposed meal. However, it is written as one long paragraph, and repeated linkers such as “Anyway” reduce cohesion.

Next step

Divide the letter into short paragraphs and replace repeated transitions with more natural links between apology, explanation, and make-up plan.

LR

Lexical Resource

7.5
Feedback

Vocabulary is flexible and mostly natural, with precise phrases such as “newly-found career” and “food poisoning”. Some choices sound exaggerated or awkward for a close friend, including “most upscale” and “let bygones be bygones”.

Next step

Use warm, conversational vocabulary and avoid phrases that sound dismissive, overly formal, or unnecessarily dramatic.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.5
Feedback

There is a good range of complex sentences and meaning is consistently clear. Accuracy is generally strong, but articles, comma placement, and a few clause structures need tightening.

Next step

Proofread article use and long sentences, especially around “felt little better”, “the town”, and the relative clause after “the reason”.