A museum near your home is looking for people to do part-time voluntary/unpaid work. You would like to do some voluntary/unpaid work at the museum. Write a letter to the museum director to apply for the voluntary/unpaid work. In your letter: - explain why you want to do voluntary/unpaid work at the museum - describe some skills and qualities you have that would be useful - give details of when you would be available for work
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter in response to a recent vacancy announcement at your museum in which you have asked for people to do part-time voluntary or unpaid work. I would like to work for your museum as a volunteer, and I am hoping that you would give me the opportunity. I am interested in availing this great opportunity because I think that it would allow me to learn some great skills to have a better career in the future. Besides, it would also help me understand many important parts of my country’s history which I would probably never know otherwise. Regarding my skills, I have good computer skills, and I also know how to work well in a team environment with other people. Besides, I have taken an art history class in high school to help me understand and appreciate the value of artworks. On top of that, I also live close to your museum which would really make it easy for me to commute. So, if you choose to hire me for this voluntary position, I will work hard to add value to your team. I am available to work every day from 3:00 pm to 8:00 pm except on Sunday, and if you decide to hire me, I can start right away. I am hoping to hear a positive response from you. Yours faithfully, Joseph Myer
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct opportunity collocation Original: availing this great opportunity Suggested revision: taking this opportunity Why it matters: 'Avail' would require a reflexive object, whereas 'take an opportunity' fits directly here.
- 2. Use volunteer terminology Original: choose to hire me for this voluntary position Suggested revision: select me for this voluntary role Why it matters: 'Select' is more accurate than 'hire' for the unpaid position described in the task.
- 3. Use volunteer collocation Original: work for your museum Suggested revision: volunteer at your museum Why it matters: This wording is more precise for an unpaid role at a museum.
- 4. Use confident request Original: I am hoping that you would give me the opportunity Suggested revision: I hope you will consider my application Why it matters: The revised tense and phrasing make the application direct and appropriately formal.
- 5. Use precise formal wording Original: some great skills Suggested revision: valuable skills Why it matters: 'Valuable' is more precise and suitably formal than the repeated general adjective 'great'.
- 6. Improve career collocation Original: to have a better career Suggested revision: to build a stronger career Why it matters: A career is more naturally described as something a person builds.
- 7. Choose precise history noun Original: many important parts Suggested revision: many important aspects Why it matters: 'Aspects' is the more precise noun for different features of a country's history.
- 8. Clarify relative clause Original: which I would probably never know otherwise Suggested revision: that I might not otherwise discover Why it matters: The revision expresses the hypothetical result more naturally and clearly.
- 9. Group application points Suggested revision: Use separate paragraphs for motivation, relevant skills, and availability. Why it matters: The single-block presentation obscures the three distinct points requested by the task.
- 10. Connect skills to role Suggested revision: Briefly explain how one named computer, teamwork, or art-history skill would help the museum. Why it matters: The skills are listed clearly but their practical usefulness to the museum is not developed.
Suggested Rewrites
- availing this great opportunity taking this opportunity
- choose to hire me for this voluntary position select me for this voluntary role
- work for your museum volunteer at your museum
- I am hoping that you would give me the opportunity I hope you will consider my application
- some great skills valuable skills
- to have a better career to build a stronger career
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter presents a clear, suitably formal application and develops all three required areas with specific reasons, relevant abilities, and precise availability. Its strongest feature is the complete and practical response to the museum's needs, while its main limitation is occasional awkward or repetitive wording. Improving collocations and varying transitions would make the application sound more natural and professionally polished.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The purpose is immediately clear, all bullet points are fully developed, and the formal tone is consistently appropriate.
Link the stated computer and teamwork skills more directly to specific duties the museum might require.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter follows a logical sequence and each main point is clearly signposted, although some linking expressions are repeated.
Reduce repetition of connectors such as 'Besides' and use paragraph breaks to sharpen the organisation.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a sufficient range of formal and topic-relevant vocabulary, but several collocations sound unnatural.
Use more idiomatic phrasing, for example 'take advantage of this opportunity' instead of 'avail this great opportunity'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are used with good overall control, and grammatical errors are infrequent and non-impeding.
Tighten conditional and relative-clause phrasing to make the longer sentences more concise and natural.