You have recently moved to a different house. Now you would like to notify one of your English-speaking friends that you have moved to a different house. Write a letter to this English-speaking friend. In your letter: - explain why you have moved - describe the new house - invite your friend to come and visit Dear...............,
Sample Response
Dear Henry, I know it would come to you as a surprise, but I've finally moved to a new house after living in my previous house for such a long time. Of course, it was not an easy decision for me, given how much I loved that house because of its proximity to a beautiful lake and animal sanctuary. But I needed to move out of it because its owner wanted to renovate it and then sell it to some corporate businesspeople at a very handsome profit. Of course, the new house, which I moved in, is a great place since it is a lot more spacious than my previous house. Besides, the new house is built with some solid wood, which I really like, because it would help the house to keep at a comfortable temperature throughout the year. So, it would mean that I'd have to spend a lot less money on the electricity bill to maintain a comfortable temperature at my house unlike the old one. Finally, it's located in a beautiful neighbourhood.
So, come and visit me sometime, possibly next weekend. I believe you would also like my new house. Warm wishes, Patrick
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add missing preposition Original: which I moved in Suggested revision: which I moved into Why it matters: The verb 'move' requires 'into' when the house is its object.
- 2. Correct verb construction Original: it would help the house to keep at Suggested revision: it helps keep the house at Why it matters: The active construction correctly expresses how the material regulates temperature.
- 3. Complete the comparison Original: at my house unlike the old one Suggested revision: in my new house than in the old one Why it matters: The comparative phrase 'a lot less' needs a clear 'than' comparison.
- 4. Use natural word order Original: come to you as a surprise Suggested revision: come as a surprise to you Why it matters: This is the more natural order for the fixed expression.
- 5. Reduce repetition Original: after living in my previous house for such a long time Suggested revision: after living in my previous home for so long Why it matters: The revision avoids repeating 'house' and expresses the duration more concisely.
- 6. Simplify the reason Original: given how much I loved that house because of its proximity to Suggested revision: because I loved its proximity to Why it matters: A single causal link expresses the reason more clearly.
- 7. Remove redundant pronoun Original: move out of it Suggested revision: move out Why it matters: The object is already clear, so the pronoun makes the phrasal verb unnecessarily awkward.
- 8. Remove redundancy Original: some corporate businesspeople Suggested revision: businesspeople Why it matters: 'Corporate' adds little because 'businesspeople' already conveys the intended idea.
- 9. Separate main purposes Suggested revision: Start a new paragraph when the focus changes from the reason for moving to the description of the new house. Why it matters: Separating these two letter functions would improve progression.
- 10. Develop neighbourhood detail Suggested revision: Add one concrete feature that explains why the new neighbourhood is beautiful. Why it matters: A specific detail would make the house description more informative for the friend.
Suggested Rewrites
- which I moved in which I moved into
- it would help the house to keep at it helps keep the house at
- at my house unlike the old one in my new house than in the old one
- come to you as a surprise come as a surprise to you
- after living in my previous house for such a long time after living in my previous home for so long
- given how much I loved that house because of its proximity to because I loved its proximity to
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter warmly informs the friend about the move, gives a well-developed reason, describes several appealing features of the new home, and ends with a clear invitation. The main limitation is a cluster of awkward constructions and slightly repetitive linking, despite the message remaining easy to follow. Focus on more idiomatic sentence patterns and a more naturally conversational flow.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are fully covered with relevant detail, and the friendly purpose and invitation are clear throughout.
Make the tone still more personal by adding a brief detail about what the friends could do together during the visit.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter follows a logical sequence from the reason for moving to the house description and invitation, though linking is sometimes repetitive and the main paragraph is long.
Divide the reason for moving from the description of the new house and vary transitions instead of repeatedly using 'Of course'.
Lexical Resource
There is enough range to describe the old and new homes precisely, but expressions such as 'built with some solid wood' and 'come to you as a surprise' are not fully idiomatic.
Choose more natural collocations, such as 'built of solid wood' and 'come as a surprise to you'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures with mostly clear meaning, although several relative clauses, prepositions, and modal forms are awkward.
Refine structures such as 'the house I moved into' and use consistent present or future forms when explaining the new home's benefits.