You have borrowed something from your friend and it has got damaged. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter, apologize for damaging the product/stuff explain what happened say how are you going to fix the issue
Sample Response
Dear Wesley, Hope you are doing fine. I am very contrite to say that the wristwatch I borrowed from you last week got damaged. It was an accident and I am ready to have it repaired from a branded shop. I am very sorry for this event and I cannot find words to show how miserable I feel about it. I know this is your favourite watch and a gift from your father. Last night I was travelling to my aunt's house on my motorbike. At one point, while I was crossing the road, an elderly woman who was driving a sedan, opened the car door all of a sudden and that stroke my bike. She profoundly apologised but the damage was already made. I fall off the bike and your watch got damaged. The protection glass screen was smashed and the lug has a few scratches. Fortunately, it is running accurately. I would like to take it to the Seiko branded shop to have it fixed. I will bear the expenses and hopefully, you would not be too angry with me after it. Warm wishes, Franco
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Add subject Original: Dear Wesley, Hope you are doing fine Suggested revision: Dear Wesley, I hope you are doing fine Why it matters: Add “I” after the greeting.
- 2. Natural apology Original: I am very contrite Suggested revision: I am really sorry Why it matters: This sounds warmer and more natural for a friend.
- 3. Repair wording Original: from a branded shop Suggested revision: at an authorised repair shop Why it matters: Use a clearer repair collocation.
- 4. Natural phrase Original: this event Suggested revision: what happened Why it matters: This fits the personal tone better.
- 5. Avoid overstatement Original: how miserable I feel Suggested revision: how sorry I feel Why it matters: The original sounds too dramatic.
- 6. Article choice Original: on my motorbike Suggested revision: on a motorbike Why it matters: Use an article unless the motorbike is already known.
- 7. Wrong verb Original: and that stroke my bike Suggested revision: and it struck my bike Why it matters: The past tense is “struck”.
- 8. Natural collocation Original: She profoundly apologised Suggested revision: She apologised sincerely Why it matters: This is the standard collocation.
- 9. Fixed phrase Original: the damage was already made Suggested revision: the damage had already been done Why it matters: Use the standard expression.
- 10. Past tense Original: I fall off the bike Suggested revision: I fell off the bike Why it matters: Use past tense in the story.
- 11. Watch part Original: protection glass screen Suggested revision: protective glass face Why it matters: This describes the watch part more naturally.
- 12. Reference clarity Original: after it Suggested revision: after that Why it matters: This refers more clearly to the repair.
Suggested Rewrites
- Dear Wesley, Hope you are doing fine Dear Wesley, I hope you are doing fine
- I am very contrite I am really sorry
- from a branded shop at an authorised repair shop
- this event what happened
- how miserable I feel how sorry I feel
- on my motorbike on a motorbike
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The letter fully apologises for damaging the borrowed watch, explains the accident, and offers to pay for repair. The friendly purpose is clear, though the apology is sometimes overdramatic.
Keep the relevant content, then revise the wording and organisation points highlighted in the essay comments.
Coherence and Cohesion
The sequence from apology to accident details and repair plan is logical, but the single-block format weakens readability.
Use clearer paragraphing and smoother links so each bullet point is easy to follow.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and sometimes precise, but several choices are unnatural for a personal letter, such as “contrite”, “branded shop”, and “the damage was already made”.
Prefer natural collocations and precise topic vocabulary over overformal or translated-sounding phrases.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is mostly clear, but tense and verb-choice errors appear in the accident narration.
Proofread tense, articles, prepositions and sentence boundaries before submitting.