You are due to move into a rented apartment next month but you will not be able to because you have some problems. Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter: explain your situation describe your problems tell him/her when you think you can move in
Sample Response
Dear Mrs Anna, I have recently agreed to rent your apartment, and I am supposed to move there on August 1st. I am afraid I cannot do so in August due to some personal problems. I am hoping that you would allow me to move into your apartment at the beginning of September instead. I am Koharu Rio, signed a rental agreement with you on July 15th and I am due to move into your apartment C4 located in Cranberry Street on the 1st of August. I have already paid you two months rent upfront. However, the sudden news of my mother-in-law's sickness propels us to change our plan. I along with my husband and children will travel to Japan sometime next week. I am not sure how long we will be staying there but it would not be less than a week I guess. After we get back from Japan, my husband and I both will be terribly busy to cover our work at our offices and hence shifting our house would be impossible for us. I would request you to consider my circumstances and allow me to move into your apartment at the beginning of September. I look forward to hearing from you soon regarding this. Yours sincerely, Koharu Rio
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Greeting comma Original: Dear Mrs Anna Suggested revision: Dear Mrs Anna, Why it matters: Add a comma after the salutation.
- 2. Move-in phrase Original: move there on August 1st Suggested revision: move in on August 1st Why it matters: Use “move in” for an apartment.
- 3. Missing subject Original: I am Koharu Rio, signed Suggested revision: I am Koharu Rio, and I signed Why it matters: The second clause needs a subject.
- 4. Possessive form Original: two months rent Suggested revision: two months’ rent Why it matters: Use the possessive form.
- 5. Natural noun Original: sickness Suggested revision: illness Why it matters: This is more formal.
- 6. Unnatural collocation Original: propels us to change our plan Suggested revision: has forced us to change our plans Why it matters: Use a natural cause phrase.
- 7. Natural subject Original: I along with my husband and children Suggested revision: My husband, my children and I Why it matters: This is smoother.
- 8. Formal estimate Original: it would not be less than a week I guess Suggested revision: I expect it will be at least a week Why it matters: This is clearer and more formal.
- 9. Word order Original: my husband and I both will be Suggested revision: both my husband and I will be Why it matters: Use standard word order.
- 10. Work collocation Original: cover our work Suggested revision: catch up on our work Why it matters: This is the natural phrase.
- 11. Natural phrase Original: shifting our house Suggested revision: moving house Why it matters: Use the standard phrase.
- 12. Specific reference Original: regarding this Suggested revision: regarding this request Why it matters: Make the reference clearer.
Suggested Rewrites
- Dear Mrs Anna Dear Mrs Anna,
- move there on August 1st move in on August 1st
- I am Koharu Rio, signed I am Koharu Rio, and I signed
- two months rent two months’ rent
- sickness illness
- propels us to change our plan has forced us to change our plans
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The letter explains the delayed move, the family emergency and the new preferred move-in time.
Keep the relevant content, then revise the wording and organisation points highlighted in the essay comments.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas are relevant but presented in one dense block with some repetition.
Use clearer paragraphing and smoother links so each bullet point is easy to follow.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficient, but several collocations are unnatural, such as “propels us” and “shifting our house”.
Prefer natural collocations and precise topic vocabulary over overformal or translated-sounding phrases.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar errors in clauses, possessives, articles and word order are frequent enough to reduce accuracy.
Proofread tense, articles, prepositions and sentence boundaries before submitting.