You have recently learned about a piece of equipment that would help you at your workplace. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: - describe the equipment - explain how it might be useful at your workplace - offer help in purchasing it
This response is estimated at Band 8.0. Can you write a better one?
Write yours and get clear feedback on all four criteria.
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Sample Response
Dear Mr Henry,
I recently came across a piece of office equipment inat another office that I found impressiveexciting and that I believe could greatly enhanceand believe could greatly enhance our workplace environment. This is a "standing desk" that I am talking about. Given the long hours many of us spend at our desksGiven the long hours that many of us spend at our desks, a standing desk would provide significant health and productivity benefits for employeeshealth and productivity benefits.
Standing desks are known to reduce risks associated with prolonged sittingthe risks associated with prolonged sitting, including back pain and poor posturesuch as back pain and poor posture. Since we work long hours in front of our computers, those standing desks could be an excellent choice. According to a journal, these desks also promote better blood circulation and boost the concentration and energy levels of employees. I believe that incorporating these desks into our office couldBy incorporating these desks into our office, I believe, we could improve overall employee well-being, leading to higher efficiency.
If you find this idea worth considering, I would be happy to assist in researching suitable models within our budget and coordinating with suppliers to find the best option. Please let me know if you would like me to provide further details.
Thank you in advance.
Yours sincerely,
Amelia Martin
Why this response received Band 8.0
The letter is purposeful, professionally toned, and especially strong in explaining how standing desks could improve staff health and productivity. The equipment itself is only briefly described, and a few phrases and punctuation choices sound awkward. Add one or two concrete details about the desk's design or operation, then streamline phrasing and comma placement to make the response fully precise.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The letter clearly identifies the equipment, develops its workplace benefits, and offers practical purchasing assistance in an appropriate tone.
Describe how a standing desk is designed or adjusted so the first requested point is as fully developed as the benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
Purposeful paragraphs and clear sequencing create smooth progression from the proposal to benefits and practical follow-up.
Tighten the small repetition between the opening benefit statement and the following explanation to make the progression even more economical.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and precise for health, productivity, budgeting, and procurement, with only a few slightly awkward phrases.
Replace expressions such as found exciting and those standing desks with more natural, context-specific wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentences is used accurately, with only minor punctuation and phrasing lapses.
Remove intrusive commas around I believe and check modifier placement to achieve consistently polished sentence control.