You were hurt in a minor accident inside a supermarket, and you wish to complain to the supermarket. Write a letter to the manager of the supermarket. In your letter: - say who you are - give details about the accident - suggest how the supermarket could prevent similar accidents
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am a regular customer of your renowned supermarket 'Meena Bazar'. Today I am writing to you regarding a minor accident that I faced while visiting your supermarket on 28th November. I am hoping that you would take the necessary measures so that it does not happen to any other shopper. I am Shadia Rahman, a resident of the Banani area and a loyal customer of your shop for more than 3 years. I am a lecturer at a private university and often do my shopping at your mart. It is a matter of regret that during my last visit to your Banani branch, I found the frozen food area completely wet and slippery. I guess it might have happened due to the inactive freezing system or any kind of technical issue. Also, the lethargic housekeeping was responsible for it. Unfortunately, I slipped my footstep while passing that area since I did not have any idea in this regard. Although I had managed with a small injury, it could have been fatal. I noticed many elderly people shop at your supermarket and it is quite unacceptable to have such an area that can possibly cause harm to people. I believe, Meena Bazar authority is having the best management individuals like you and you would take proper actions after getting it notified. Therefore, in the consideration of its goodwill, you should be more attentive regarding all kinds of safety issues like this. I recommend you to monitor all electronic devices more frequently with professional bodies. Also, you should take the necessary steps to hire a highly skilled and proactive cleaning team. I hope this matter deserves your sound attention. Thank you in advance for your cooperation. Yours faithfully, Shadia Rahman
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: minor accident that I faced Suggested revision: minor accident I had Why it matters: The revised phrase is a more natural way to describe experiencing an accident.
- 2. Align tense and tone Original: I am hoping that you would take Suggested revision: I hope you will take Why it matters: This form makes the request more direct and keeps the verb choices consistent.
- 3. Spell out the number Original: for more than 3 years Suggested revision: for more than three years Why it matters: Spelling out a small number suits the formal register of the letter.
- 4. Avoid awkward repetition Original: do my shopping at your mart Suggested revision: shop there Why it matters: This concise wording avoids repeating the supermarket reference.
- 5. Use concise transition Original: It is a matter of regret that Suggested revision: Unfortunately, Why it matters: A concise transition introduces the complaint more naturally.
- 6. Choose precise term Original: inactive freezing system Suggested revision: faulty refrigeration system Why it matters: Inactive does not clearly describe malfunctioning supermarket equipment.
- 7. Use appropriate wording Original: lethargic housekeeping Suggested revision: delayed cleaning Why it matters: Lethargic usually describes people and is unsuitable for the cleaning service here.
- 8. Correct the collocation Original: slipped my footstep Suggested revision: slipped Why it matters: English uses slipped on its own rather than slipped my footstep.
- 9. State the cause clearly Original: since I did not have any idea in this regard Suggested revision: because I did not know the floor was wet Why it matters: The revision expresses the intended cause clearly and specifically.
- 10. Correct the verb phrase Original: had managed with a small injury Suggested revision: suffered only a minor injury Why it matters: Managed with does not correctly express sustaining an injury.
- 11. Complete the clause Original: I noticed many elderly people shop Suggested revision: I have noticed that many elderly people shop Why it matters: That is needed to introduce the observed clause clearly in this context.
- 12. Fix possession and tense Original: Meena Bazar authority is having Suggested revision: Meena Bazar's management has Why it matters: The possessive noun and simple present form are grammatically appropriate here.
Suggested Rewrites
- minor accident that I faced minor accident I had
- I am hoping that you would take I hope you will take
- for more than 3 years for more than three years
- do my shopping at your mart shop there
- It is a matter of regret that Unfortunately,
- inactive freezing system faulty refrigeration system
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter fully addresses the complaint, identifies the writer, explains the accident, and offers practical preventive measures in an appropriately formal tone. Its main limitation is frequent unnatural wording and collocation, which sometimes makes otherwise clear ideas sound strained; the highest-priority improvement is to replace elaborate but inaccurate phrases with simpler, idiomatic language while separating the content into clear paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear, all three bullet points are fully addressed, and the formal complaint is developed with relevant detail.
Make the requested action even more precise by explicitly asking the manager to inspect the freezer and introduce immediate warning signs.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information progresses logically from purpose and identity through the accident to recommendations, although the response is presented as one long paragraph.
Use separate paragraphs for the introduction, accident details, and proposed preventive measures to make the progression easier to scan.
Lexical Resource
The letter shows a broad vocabulary, but recurring awkward collocations such as 'slipped my footstep' and 'sound attention' reduce precision and naturalness.
Prefer accurate everyday combinations such as 'slipped on the wet floor' and 'give this matter your urgent attention'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is attempted, and meaning remains clear despite recurring problems with articles, agreement, prepositions, and verb patterns.
Review verb patterns and noun agreement, especially constructions such as 'recommend that you monitor' rather than 'recommend you to monitor'.
Use this task for your next draft
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