You were hurt in a minor accident inside a supermarket, and you wish to complain to the supermarket. Write a letter to the manager of the supermarket. In your letter: - say who you are - give details about the accident - suggest how the supermarket could prevent similar accidents
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to formally express my concerns regarding a minor accident that I was involved in at your supermarket - Toronto Grocerries, on 20th October. My name is Olivia Belmont, and I am a regular customer at your Toronto City Center branch. I am hoping that you will take enough precautions to prevent such an accident in the future.
The incident occurred in the fresh produce section, where I slipped on a wet floor that had no warning signs. As a result, I fell and sustained minor injuries to my elbow and knee. A staff member assisted me, but I was disappointed by the lack of immediate medical attention or any follow-up regarding the incident.
To prevent such accidents in the future, I strongly recommend ensuring that spills are cleaned promptly and that clear warning signs are placed around hazardous areas. Additionally, regular safety inspections should be conducted to identify and address potential risks.
I trust that you will take this matter seriously and implement the necessary measures to ensure customer safety. I would appreciate a response regarding any actions taken.
Yours faithfully,
Sophia Lane
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct supermarket spelling Original: Toronto Grocerries Suggested revision: Toronto Groceries Why it matters: Groceries contains one r after the initial G.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: take enough precautions Suggested revision: take appropriate precautions Why it matters: Appropriate precautions is the standard phrase for adequate safety measures.
- 3. Keep identity consistent Original: Sophia Lane Suggested revision: Olivia Belmont Why it matters: The signature must match the name introduced at the start of the letter.
- 4. State complaint directly Original: express my concerns regarding Suggested revision: complain about Why it matters: This direct verb makes the purpose of the formal letter immediately clear.
- 5. Use concise event clause Original: that I was involved in Suggested revision: that occurred Why it matters: The accident occurred at the supermarket, so the passive phrase is unnecessary.
- 6. Replace informal dash Original: supermarket - Suggested revision: supermarket, Why it matters: Commas should set off the supermarket’s name as identifying information.
- 7. Use formal date style Original: 20th October Suggested revision: 20 October Why it matters: Formal British-style dates usually omit the ordinal ending.
- 8. Use direct polite form Original: I am hoping Suggested revision: I hope Why it matters: The simple present is more concise and equally polite.
- 9. Focus the opening Suggested revision: Move the general sentence about future precautions to the recommendations paragraph so the opening concentrates on identity, location, date, and purpose. Why it matters: This would give each paragraph a more distinct communicative function.
- 10. Clarify expected follow-up Suggested revision: Specify whether the missing follow-up concerned first aid, an incident record, or later contact, using only the detail that reflects your experience. Why it matters: The current reference to follow-up is too general to show what response was lacking.
Suggested Rewrites
- Toronto Grocerries Toronto Groceries
- take enough precautions take appropriate precautions
- Sophia Lane Olivia Belmont
- express my concerns regarding complain about
- that I was involved in that occurred
- supermarket - supermarket,
Why this response received Band 8.0
The letter is highly focused, well organised, and appropriately formal, giving precise accident details and practical prevention measures. Language is varied and largely accurate, but the writer identifies herself as Olivia Belmont and signs as Sophia Lane, a conspicuous inconsistency that weakens the credibility of the complaint; there is also a spelling slip in the supermarket name. Keep personal details consistent and proofread proper nouns before submitting.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The complaint has a clear purpose, covers every requested point with specific detail, and maintains an appropriate formal tone, but the two different writer names create a notable credibility lapse.
Use the same name in the introduction and sign-off so the writer's identity is unambiguous.
Coherence and Cohesion
Purposeful paragraphs and well-managed linking create clear progression from the incident to recommendations and the requested response.
Retain this structure while making the opening slightly more concise to sharpen the progression further.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is precise and flexible for a formal safety complaint, with only a spelling error in ‘Grocerries’ and a slightly unnatural phrase about precautions.
Proofread proper nouns and replace ‘take enough precautions’ with a more idiomatic phrase such as ‘take appropriate precautions’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately, with only minor punctuation awkwardness that does not affect communication.
Use commas or dashes more cleanly when inserting the supermarket name and date into the opening sentence.
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