You are going to visit the town where your friend went to university. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: - explain why you will be visiting the town - give details of where you will be staying - ask your friend to recommend some evening entertainment
Sample Response
Dear Rohan,
Hope this letter finds you in good health and spirit. I haven’t heard from you since we did some mountain hiking together about a year ago. Anyway, you surely will be glad to know that I'll be visiting Granville - the town where you went to university. I'll be there from the 7th of October till the 10th of the month for the purpose of attending a big car auction in order to buy an old but good car for me at an affordable price.
I'll be staying at Maple Leaf hotel in the downtown of your city which is located right at the intersection of Jenkins Avenue and O’Conner Street. Now, I'm not too sure how far exactly you're from the hotel, but I'd be more than happy to see you at my hotel. But, if you're too busy to visit me during one of those weekdays because of your work, please just let me know where I can enjoy some nice Japanese foods, along with some nice oriental music, during the evening.
I guess, that should do it for now, but please do feel free to visit me when I arrive in your city.
Warm wishes,
William
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct the expression Original: good health and spirit Suggested revision: good health and spirits Why it matters: In good health and spirits is the standard expression in this greeting.
- 2. Use natural phrasing Original: did some mountain hiking Suggested revision: went hiking in the mountains Why it matters: The replacement is the more natural collocation for the shared activity.
- 3. Place adverb naturally Original: you surely will be glad Suggested revision: you will surely be glad Why it matters: The adverb normally follows the modal verb in this clause.
- 4. Format the dash Original: Granville - the town Suggested revision: Granville—the town Why it matters: An em dash without surrounding spaces correctly marks the parenthetical explanation.
- 5. State dates concisely Original: from the 7th of October till the 10th of the month Suggested revision: from 7 to 10 October Why it matters: The shorter date range is clear and avoids repeating the month indirectly.
- 6. Remove wordiness Original: for the purpose of attending Suggested revision: to attend Why it matters: The infinitive expresses purpose more directly.
- 7. Use concise purpose Original: in order to buy Suggested revision: to buy Why it matters: The shorter infinitive preserves the meaning without unnecessary words.
- 8. Use reflexive pronoun Original: car for me Suggested revision: car for myself Why it matters: The subject is also the beneficiary, so the reflexive pronoun is appropriate.
- 9. Add article and capitals Original: Maple Leaf hotel Suggested revision: the Maple Leaf Hotel Why it matters: A named hotel needs the article here and Hotel should be capitalised as part of its name.
- 10. Correct location phrase Original: in the downtown of your city Suggested revision: in the city centre Why it matters: In the downtown of is not an idiomatic location phrase in this context.
- 11. Fix indirect word order Original: how far exactly you're from the hotel Suggested revision: exactly how far you are from the hotel Why it matters: An indirect question uses statement word order rather than a contraction with inverted placement.
- 12. Use smoother transition Original: But, if Suggested revision: However, if Why it matters: However is a cleaner transition after the preceding invitation.
Suggested Rewrites
- good health and spirit good health and spirits
- did some mountain hiking went hiking in the mountains
- you surely will be glad you will surely be glad
- Granville - the town Granville—the town
- from the 7th of October till the 10th of the month from 7 to 10 October
- for the purpose of attending to attend
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter is warm, purposeful, and easy to follow, with clear details about the visit, accommodation, and the desired evening entertainment. Its main limitation is a cluster of awkward or repetitive expressions, including imprecise wording about location and food; the highest-priority improvement is to refine collocations and sentence structures so the friendly message sounds consistently natural and polished.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response fully covers every bullet point with specific details and maintains an appropriate informal tone for a friend.
Frame the entertainment request more explicitly as a recommendation and ask for one or two named venues or activities.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter is clearly paragraphled and progresses smoothly from the reason for visiting to accommodation and evening plans, with only minor overuse of conversational linkers.
Reduce repeated openers such as 'Anyway', 'Now', and 'But' so the connections between ideas feel less signposted.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of vocabulary for travel and social plans, but several collocations are awkward, including 'in the downtown' and 'Japanese foods'.
Use more natural phrases such as 'in the city centre', 'Japanese food', and 'a car for myself'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of sentence forms is used with generally good control, though a few malformed or incomplete structures interrupt accuracy.
Correct structures such as 'how far you are from the hotel' and ensure informal sentence fragments are used sparingly.
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