Some people believe that the use of mobile phones in public is as annoying as smoking and should be banned, similarly. What is your opinion on that?
Sample Response
It is often considered by many that the useusages of mobile phones in public places should be restricted in the same way as smokingrestricted as smoking has been. I completely agree with the banbanning of mobile phones in public places, especially where people are working and might get annoyed and interrupted.
Using mobile phones in public places causes several drawbacks. Firstlycauses several drawbacks, Firstly, it leads to various social problems. In other words, the use of mobile phones in public places causes serious disruptionoffence. For example, recent researchresearches showed that the use of mobile phonesthat use of mobile phones while crossing the roadwhile pedestrian crossing is athe major cause of accidents in both developing and developed nations. Secondly, the lack of social interaction among individuals could be the consequence of mobile phones over usage in public placesin the public places. For instance, people travelling on the same bus become isolated and busy surfingbusy by surfing the internet on their mobile phones, which leadsthe mobile phones which lead to a lack of communicationthe lackings of communication among travellers.
In addition, there would be a scarcity of enjoyment in sightseeing while travelling. Take an example, if a person is travellingif a person travelling by train through the countryside, the use of mobile phone makes them forget to enjoyforget enjoy the fascinating places outside the compartment. Finally, talking loudly through mobile phones in public places such as church, mosque result in irritation, distress and disturbance to other individuals as mobile phones could be intrusive.
In conclusion mobile phone usage in public areas should be restricted to the welfare of the society and the citizens because the use of mobile phones in public is annoying as smoking.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response maintains a clear opinion throughout and uses a straightforward progression from social effects to travel-related disruption. However, several supporting examples are only loosely connected to the proposed ban, and frequent word-form, agreement, and sentence-structure errors reduce precision. The most important improvement is to develop fewer, directly relevant reasons and express them in accurately controlled sentences rather than relying on broad claims.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The writer presents a clear position and several relevant reasons, but some examples are insufficiently developed or only loosely support a public-use ban.
Select two directly relevant reasons and explain the causal link from public phone use to annoyance and the need for restriction.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response follows a recognisable paragraph structure and logical sequence, though progression is basic and some connections are imprecise.
Give each body paragraph one clearly framed main idea and ensure every example directly advances that idea.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is adequate for the topic and includes some less common items, but frequent word-form and collocational errors reduce accuracy.
Use common words accurately and correct forms such as research, overuse, lack, and forget to enjoy before attempting more ambitious phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms is attempted, but frequent errors in agreement, articles, punctuation, and clause formation weaken control.
Build complete sentences around one main clause and proofread carefully for subject-verb agreement, articles, and infinitive patterns.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that the use of mobile phones in public is as annoying as smoking and should be banned, similarly. What is your opinion on that?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.