We no longer need to have animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed.
Sample Response
It is widely recognisedwidely seen today that governmentsthe government is diverting substantial fundsa lot of funds towards the development and maintenance of zoostowards development and maintenance of zoos. Although some feel that keeping animals captivecaptivating animals in a zoo is not idealare not an ideal notion, others argue that they can best be looked after in a zoo.
There is no denying thatThere is no denying to the fact that animals lose their freedom when they are kept in zoos. Also, they are exposed to an artificial way of lifethe artificial way of living and are deprived of their natural habitat. To exemplify, they are fed only at a particular time by their trainers and cannot foragefetch for food when they are hungry. Moreover, they are mostly disturbed by the presence of numerous visitorsadvent of numerous spectators who visit the zoo almost every day.
Nevertheless, animals are safe when kept in a zoo. These animalsbeasts can be saved from the threateffect of extinction. For instance, the number of Bengal tigers is increasingthe Bengal tigers are increasing in numbers every passing year a species that was otherwisewhich otherwise was on the verge of extinction on account of hunting and ill health. The forest department is playing a pivotal rolepivotal roles for their care and protection. Also, the rapid industrialisation has led to the destruction of forests depriving these creatures of their natural homes. Therefore huge efforts are being made for the creation of a natural environment which best suits these creatures hence not disturbing their natural life. Furthermore, there is a continuous check on their health and hygiene which eventually gifts them a long life.
In conclusion, I would prefer animals to be keptI would prefer animals being kept in a zoo on account of their safety and increased life expectancy.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay presents a clear preference for keeping zoos and develops both animal-welfare concerns and conservation benefits in a logical structure. Its main limitation is language control: ambitious vocabulary often appears in unnatural combinations, and several complex sentences contain agreement or clause-linking errors; prioritizing accurate collocations and cleaner sentence construction would make the otherwise relevant argument more precise and persuasive.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the proposition, considers both sides, and reaches a clear, relevant position supported by developed reasons.
State the supportive position in the introduction and qualify broad conservation claims with more precise evidence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear paragraphing and a logical contrast between drawbacks and benefits support steady progression, despite some mechanical linking.
Use fewer sentence-opening linkers and strengthen the connections between individual examples and the claims they support.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a good range of topic vocabulary, but frequent inaccurate collocations and word choices limit precision.
Prioritize natural combinations such as keeping animals captive, searching for food, and preventing extinction.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Simple and complex forms are both attempted, but agreement, article, punctuation, and clause-structure errors occur repeatedly.
Simplify overloaded sentences and check subject-verb agreement and clause boundaries before adding complex linking.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
We no longer need to have animals kept in zoos, so zoos should be closed.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.