The rising levels of congestion and air pollution found in most of the world's cities can be attributed directly to the rapidly increasing number of private cars in use. In order to reverse this decline in the quality of life in cities, attempts must be made to encourage people to use their cars less and public transport more. Discuss possible ways to encourage the use of public transport.
Sample Response
Anyone who lives in a city is aware of the increasing number of cars on the road and the kinds of problems this creates are traffic jams, air pollution and longer commuting periods. As economies grow and access to cars spreads to increasing numbers of people, this trend is likely to worsen. The solution, it would seem, is for the government to encourage the use of public transport in urban areas, thus decreasing dependence on the car. One way to stimulate public transport use is to make private car use more expensive and inconvenient. The introduction of tolls along urban motorways has been successfully employed in many cities. Other such measures are high-priced permits for parking in urban areas and the restriction of parking to a limited number of cars. Faced with high costs or no place to park, commuters would perhaps be more willing to abandon their cars in favour of buses or trains. There are also less punishing ways of spurring public transport use. The construction of free car-parks at suburban train stations has proven successful in quite a number of countries. This allows commuters to drive part of the way but then they ultimately use public transportation into the central, most congested, urban areas. Moreover, private cars can not carry many passengers at a time yet occupy spaces in the street. As the number of cars is increasing in the road so does the traffic jam. Perhaps the major disadvantage of cars, in general, is the huge damage they do to the human health and to the environment. More cars mean more pollution. The environment pollution is a serious issue today and at any cost, we must reduce the amount of pollution. Indeed, making public transport more comfortable and convenient should work to attract more commuters and decrease traffic congestion. Public transport that is convenient and comfortable retains its passengers, much like any business that satisfies its customers. The more commuters committed to taking public transport, the less congestion on city streets.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Concise access phrase Original: access to cars spreads to increasing numbers of people Suggested revision: access to cars expands among more people Why it matters: The revision expresses the increase more directly and avoids a heavy noun phrase.
- 2. Avoid absolute transition Original: The solution, it would seem, is for the government Suggested revision: One solution is for governments Why it matters: One solution connects more accurately to the several measures developed later.
- 3. Use precise category Original: dependence on the car Suggested revision: dependence on private cars Why it matters: The plural phrase refers more precisely to private car use in general.
- 4. Correct preposition Original: tolls along urban motorways Suggested revision: tolls on urban motorways Why it matters: Tolls imposed on roads take the preposition on.
- 5. Natural policy verb Original: has been successfully employed Suggested revision: has been successfully implemented Why it matters: Implemented is the more natural verb for introducing a policy measure.
- 6. Clarify parking limit Original: the restriction of parking to a limited number of cars Suggested revision: limits on the number of parking spaces Why it matters: This wording identifies more clearly what is being restricted.
- 7. Reduce hedging Original: would perhaps be more willing Suggested revision: might be more willing Why it matters: Might expresses the same uncertainty more concisely.
- 8. More formal contrast Original: less punishing ways Suggested revision: less restrictive ways Why it matters: Restrictive describes transport policies more precisely than punishing.
- 9. Streamline sequence Original: but then they ultimately use Suggested revision: before using Why it matters: Before using states the park-and-ride sequence more directly.
- 10. Clarify destination phrasing Original: public transportation into Suggested revision: public transport to reach Why it matters: The revision creates a natural expression for travelling to the central area.
- 11. Use one word Original: can not Suggested revision: cannot Why it matters: The standard negative form of can is written as one word.
- 12. Natural road phrase Original: occupy spaces in the street Suggested revision: occupy road space Why it matters: Road space is the standard concise term for the area vehicles use.
Suggested Rewrites
- access to cars spreads to increasing numbers of people access to cars expands among more people
- The solution, it would seem, is for the government One solution is for governments
- dependence on the car dependence on private cars
- tolls along urban motorways tolls on urban motorways
- has been successfully employed has been successfully implemented
- the restriction of parking to a limited number of cars limits on the number of parking spaces
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response offers several practical measures, including road tolls, parking restrictions, park-and-ride facilities, and improved public transport, with generally clear explanation. Its main limitation is that the discussion briefly shifts from solutions to the harms caused by cars, while the lack of paragraph breaks weakens organisation. The priority is to group each solution into a focused paragraph and develop its likely effect on commuter behaviour.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Several relevant ways to increase public transport use are explained, though the middle section drifts into describing car-related problems.
Replace the general pollution discussion with fuller explanation of how service frequency, cost, or reliability would change commuter choices.
Coherence and Cohesion
The sequence of solutions is broadly logical and cohesive, but the absence of paragraph breaks and a mid-response detour weaken progression.
Organise punitive measures, park-and-ride schemes, and service improvements into separate, clearly focused paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The response demonstrates good topic-specific range, with some inaccurate collocations and article choices reducing precision.
Use natural combinations such as 'on the road', 'traffic congestion', 'human health', and 'environmental pollution'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex sentences are often accurate, although several malformed comparisons, article errors, and preposition errors occur.
Revise comparative and cause-effect structures, especially sentences linking the rising number of cars to worsening congestion.
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