When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Payment from a job is one of the essential aspects for people to consider but it is not the only reason people take a new job or continue the existing one. I personally believe that there are other important considerations while choosing a job. Without any doubt, salary is essential in order for people to survive and a great proportion of people rely on the money they get from their jobs. Most of the job-holders pay for their housing, utility bills, food, treatment, travel, education and so on from the money they get from their employers. It is evident that if employers stop paying the employees, there would be virtually no one left to work in a company. Teaching, sports, painting, politics and research are considered to be professions where passion is more important than money. However, if there is no money at all, I have doubt that anyone would pursue these careers. However, money is not the most important concern for someone to choose a job and there are other important considerations to start and continue a job. Passion and interest to the work, for instance, drive most of the people to work. For instance, many established artists, actors, writers and scientists who have already amassed a great fortune would have stopped working if the sole purpose of working would have been the money. From my personal experience, I can say that while choosing a job people most of the time consider a job they would enjoy rather than the money they would earn from it. Other important aspects, like the job security, career prospect, work environment, relationship with the colleagues and bosses are all important to choose a job. Personally, I would like to have a job that suits my educational background, let me learn and implement my ideas, have a great working environment and then I would consider the money I will get for the job. To conclude, salary is an important aspect for picking a job but other factors in combination play more vital roles and have more significance than the money.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Comma before but Original: consider but it is not Suggested revision: consider, but it is not Why it matters: A comma is needed before the coordinating conjunction.
- 2. Missing preposition Original: continue the existing one Suggested revision: continue in an existing one Why it matters: Continue in a job is more natural here.
- 3. Natural phrase Original: while choosing a job Suggested revision: when choosing a job Why it matters: When is more natural for this general decision context.
- 4. Article use Original: Most of the job-holders Suggested revision: Most job-holders Why it matters: The article is unnecessary in this general phrase.
- 5. Specific word Original: treatment Suggested revision: medical treatment Why it matters: This makes the meaning clearer in a list of expenses.
- 6. Article needed Original: I have doubt Suggested revision: I doubt Why it matters: I doubt is the natural verb phrase.
- 7. Preposition Original: Passion and interest to the work Suggested revision: Passion for and interest in the work Why it matters: These nouns need different prepositions.
- 8. Natural phrase Original: drive most of the people Suggested revision: motivate many people Why it matters: This is more concise and natural.
- 9. Conditional form Original: would have stopped working if the sole purpose of working would have been the money Suggested revision: would stop working if the sole purpose of work were money Why it matters: The conditional structure needs cleaner tense control.
- 10. Academic tone Original: From my personal experience Suggested revision: In many cases Why it matters: A broader claim is more suitable than personal experience here.
- 11. Unneeded article Original: the job security Suggested revision: job security Why it matters: This abstract noun phrase does not need the article.
- 12. Plural phrase Original: career prospect Suggested revision: career prospects Why it matters: The plural form is standard in this expression.
Suggested Rewrites
- consider but it is not consider, but it is not
- continue the existing one continue in an existing one
- while choosing a job when choosing a job
- Most of the job-holders Most job-holders
- treatment medical treatment
- I have doubt I doubt
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The response clearly disagrees with the statement and supports the view that salary is important but not the only consideration. Ideas are relevant and developed, though some examples are repetitive and the essay could give more balanced attention to why salary may be decisive for some people.
Add a brief concession explaining when salary can be the most important factor, then show why other factors still matter overall.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument progresses logically, but the whole essay is written as one long paragraph. Repetition of money, job, and important also reduces cohesion.
Use separate paragraphs for salary, non-financial factors, and the final judgement.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible enough for the topic, with phrases such as job security, career prospect, work environment, and educational background. Some collocations and repeated wording need refinement.
Vary repeated language with precise terms such as remuneration, financial necessity, professional fulfilment, and workplace culture.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar is generally clear with several complex structures, but there are errors in verb forms, articles, conditionals, and prepositions. These errors are noticeable but rarely obscure meaning.
Check conditional sentences and noun phrases, especially after consider and while choosing.