When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
The salary is regarded as one of the most important factors while making a choice between jobs. Salary is the real outcome of the job performed and hence it becomes a prominent part in job selection. However, I completely disagree that salary is the most important part of choosing a job. Job satisfaction and career growth are equally important aspects of the job to be considered. I shall prove these parts in following paragraphs with more details.
Most people give preference to job satisfaction over the salary. Job satisfaction includes work-life balance, vacation, quality work and many more parameters. It is scientifically proven that job satisfaction adds to well-being and happiness to human lives. For example, a person earning less will be happier than the person earning big bucks but going through extreme stress and pressure at a workplace. Thus, job satisfaction should be considered as an important factor while choosing a job.
People also give equal importance to career growth when it comes to selecting a job. Promotions, new skills, job responsibilities are some of the parts of career growth. People tend to give importance to these attributes of the job as it becomes path breaker for their future career. For example, sometimes more salary can be only claimed if a person is holding a certain level of position in an organisational hierarchy, thus, it becomes vital for people to be considerate about this career growth aspect also.
In conclusion, I completely disregard the salary aspect of a job while choosing it. In my view, job satisfaction and career growth should be seen as the most vital aspect while making a choice between jobs. In the modern world, it is advisable to become circumspect about job choices by equally evaluating all aspects of the job.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clearer wording Original: real outcome of the job performed Suggested revision: financial reward for work performed Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
- 2. Grammar fix Original: prominent part in job selection Suggested revision: major factor in choosing a job Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
- 3. Clearer wording Original: completely disagree Suggested revision: disagree that salary is the overriding factor Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
- 4. Clearer wording Original: aspects of the job to be considered Suggested revision: factors to consider Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
- 5. Clearer wording Original: prove these parts Suggested revision: explain these factors Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
- 6. Grammar fix Original: in following paragraphs Suggested revision: in the following paragraphs Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
- 7. Clearer wording Original: over the salary Suggested revision: over salary Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
- 8. Clearer wording Original: vacation, quality work Suggested revision: leave entitlement and meaningful work Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
- 9. Clearer wording Original: scientifically proven Suggested revision: widely associated Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
- 10. Grammar fix Original: happiness to human lives Suggested revision: happiness in people's lives Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
- 11. Clearer wording Original: person earning big bucks Suggested revision: person earning a high salary Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
- 12. Clearer wording Original: at a workplace Suggested revision: at work Why it matters: This revision is more accurate, natural and precise in context.
Suggested Rewrites
- real outcome of the job performed financial reward for work performed
- prominent part in job selection major factor in choosing a job
- completely disagree disagree that salary is the overriding factor
- aspects of the job to be considered factors to consider
- prove these parts explain these factors
- in following paragraphs in the following paragraphs
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay takes a clear position and supports it with two relevant alternatives to salary, using a conventional structure that is easy to follow. The main limitation is that several claims are overstated or only loosely reasoned, while awkward collocations recur; the priority is to explain each example more precisely and maintain the nuanced view that salary matters but is not the sole or overriding consideration.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The task is addressed with relevant content, but key details or reasoning need fuller precision.
Develop the main features or claims with exact, verifiable support.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a clear overall structure, though local progression can be more precise.
Use explicit, economical sequencing and remove repetition.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficient for the task, but several collocations or word choices are inaccurate.
Replace awkward combinations with standard academic or task-specific phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of forms is attempted, but recurring grammar errors reduce accuracy.
Proofread agreement, articles, prepositions and clause structure.