Because of the global economy, many goods including what we use as daily basic produced by other countries have to be transported for a long distance. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
This is the era or globalisation and world trade and business. This has enabled us to keep better diplomatic and business relationship with many other countries and products produced in a country could easily be found in another country. However, this requires the products and foods to be travelled to a long distance before reaching to the consumers of other countries and this has both negative and positive consequences. In my opinion, this has far more advantages than the drawbacks.
On one hand, a country should first try to be self-sufficient rather than relying heavily on imported goods. Foods, vegetables and fruits should not be imported from other countries since the long distance travel of such commodities degraded their food values. Moreover, importing from other countries is quite costly. Finally, a country should try to produce daily necessities by themselves as it would eradicate the poverty, unemployment and would also make sure the better economic progress of a country.
On the contrary, the advantages of the global economy and trade are highlighted often and it is true that being self-sufficient for all countries are quite impossible. Some countries are better for agriculture, some for industrial productions, some for food processing and some others for technologies and thus each nation has their unique ability to do well in some specific sectors. Thus no country can locally produce everything their people need. First and foremost advantages of importing products from other countries is that a country can enjoy those short of goods without even producing them. For instance, many countries enjoy tea and coffee even though they do not locally produce them. Second, sometimes importing is less expensive than producing something and not every country has the environment and manpower to do so. Third, transportation system nowadays is becoming more efficient and in the near future, it will take less time to supply goods from another country to another. The global economy enables a country to export products to other nations rather than wasting them and this has proven to be a strong revenue earning area for many countries. People nowadays have more choices of their products and global economy hit the monopoly so hard that people can enjoy global branded products at a competitive price.
In summary, more time to transport daily commodities from one country to other has some demerits. However the endless advantages they bring are quite overwhelming.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Correct the preposition Original: era or globalisation Suggested revision: era of globalisation Why it matters: The noun era takes of when identifying the defining period.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: keep better diplomatic and business relationship Suggested revision: maintain better diplomatic and business relationships Why it matters: Maintain relationships is the natural collocation, and the general reference should be plural.
- 3. Use consistent present tense Original: products produced in a country could easily be found Suggested revision: products produced in one country can easily be found Why it matters: The essay describes a current general situation, so can matches the present-time claim.
- 4. Use the active infinitive Original: requires the products and foods to be travelled Suggested revision: requires products and food to travel Why it matters: Goods travel rather than are travelled, and food is uncountable in this general use.
- 5. Correct the distance phrase Original: to a long distance Suggested revision: over a long distance Why it matters: Over is the standard preposition for movement across a distance.
- 6. Remove the extra preposition Original: before reaching to the consumers Suggested revision: before reaching consumers Why it matters: Reach is transitive and does not take to before its object.
- 7. Complete the paired linker Original: On one hand Suggested revision: On the one hand Why it matters: The conventional paired transition requires the definite article.
- 8. Fix tense and collocation Original: degraded their food values Suggested revision: degrades their nutritional value Why it matters: A general claim needs the present tense, and nutritional value is the standard phrase.
- 9. Match the singular country Original: by themselves Suggested revision: by itself Why it matters: The reflexive pronoun must agree with the singular subject a country.
- 10. Remove articles and comma Original: eradicate the poverty, unemployment Suggested revision: eradicate poverty and unemployment Why it matters: The abstract nouns take no articles here and should be joined with and.
- 11. Use economic growth collocation Original: make sure the better economic progress Suggested revision: ensure stronger economic growth Why it matters: Ensure economic growth is more natural and precise than make sure progress.
- 12. Repair subject agreement Original: being self-sufficient for all countries are quite impossible Suggested revision: complete self-sufficiency is impossible for every country Why it matters: The replacement supplies a singular noun phrase that agrees with is and places the country phrase clearly.
Suggested Rewrites
- era or globalisation era of globalisation
- keep better diplomatic and business relationship maintain better diplomatic and business relationships
- products produced in a country could easily be found products produced in one country can easily be found
- requires the products and foods to be travelled requires products and food to travel
- to a long distance over a long distance
- before reaching to the consumers before reaching consumers
Why this response received Band 7.0
The essay establishes a clear judgement that international trade brings greater benefits and offers a particularly wide range of relevant advantages, including specialisation, consumer choice, lower costs, export revenue, and competition. Its main limitation is that the case becomes list-like and contains frequent grammatical and collocational errors, while the disadvantages are compared less directly. Prioritise selecting fewer claims, developing each with evidence, and explicitly weighing them against transport cost and spoilage.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The position is clear, both sides are addressed, and numerous relevant advantages are explained, though several claims remain asserted rather than fully supported or compared.
Select the strongest two or three benefits and show explicitly why they outweigh spoilage, transport expense, and pressure on local production.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a logical four-part structure, but the long advantages paragraph relies on mechanical enumeration and contains too many separate claims.
Divide the advantages into focused paragraphs on access and cost, then trade revenue and competition, with one developed idea per section.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of trade and economics vocabulary, but frequent awkward combinations such as 'products to be travelled' and 'hit the monopoly' reduce precision.
Use natural alternatives such as 'goods must be transported', 'export revenue', and 'increase competition in the market'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex forms is used and meaning remains clear, but agreement, article, passive, and pronoun errors recur throughout.
Check subject-verb agreement and countability in forms such as 'self-sufficiency is impossible', 'the main advantage is', and 'each nation has its'.
Use this task for your next draft
Feedback is more useful when you actively apply it in a draft, rather than only recognising improvements on the page.
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.
The question will be loaded automatically.