Modern societies need specialists in certain fields, but not in others. Some people, therefore, think that governments should pay university fees for students who study subjects that are needed by society. Those who choose to study less relevant subjects should not receive government funding. Would the advantages of such an educational policy outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
In our modern world, people’s education is considered a major priority by many governmentseducational background is considered one of the greatest priorities to many administrations. Some may say that some more important subjectsstudy must be supported more by state authorities; however, others, including myself, agreeothers, included myself agree that the drawbacks of this method outweigh the advantagespositive influences.
On the one hand, those who believe that focusing more on some specific essential disciplinescurriculum by governments is more beneficial to humans have their reasons. One reason behind it is that they will face fewer healthcare problems. Admitting more medical and nursing studentsAdmitting of more medical or nursing students will lead the general public to gain a better-quality healthcare systema better quality of healthcare system. For example, had the government of India backed up medical students more, Indian people would have had a better level of well-being; but unfortunately, every year hundreds of medical graduates have to leave their country for Western countriesmove their country into Western countries for finding better study opportunities. Another advantage is that food-insecure nations could improve food productionmore starved nations will be nourished. Farming should be supported more by governments. Investing more in agricultural education, countries will have more advanced and mechanised agriculture, and more developed techniques will be used in this sector.
On the other hand, I personally believe that all fields of study should be valued equallyall study subjects must be valued equally, and all humans have similar rights to receive identical funds to continue their study. The first obvious factor is that the rate of unemployment will increase if university principals follow this policy. Clearly, by supporting more specific study subjects, the number of jobless professionalsthe number jobless professionals will increase far considerably. For instance, in Iran, two decades ago, the capacity of medical universities was enhanced by the government, and more loans were given to medical students. This caused the number of medical graduates to grow rapidlyThis caused the number of medical graduates grew fast, and gradually their employment opportunity dropped. Furthermore, it can be against the civil rights. Obviously, all citizens pay tax and must have a wide selection to choose their favourite field of studystudy material. If they do not receive equal financial support, they may become unsatisfied citizens.
To sum up, although some education fields are more important to societyphenomenal to societies, from my point of view, all study courses must be supported equally by governmentsvalidated similarly by administrations because all applicants have equal rights, and this method may increase the number of unemployed professionals in the fields that receive more supportbeing more backed up.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response’s strongest feature is its balanced consideration of benefits and drawbacks, supported by a clear position that the disadvantages are greater. The main limitation is that several claims and examples do not connect tightly enough to the precise funding policy, and ambitious vocabulary and complex sentences are often inaccurate. Prioritise direct policy evaluation—social need, fairness, workforce planning, and oversupply—while using clearer links, more precise education terms, and simpler controlled sentence structures.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The answer addresses the advantages and disadvantages and gives a clear view that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. Some examples are relevant, but parts of the reasoning are overstated or not fully tied to the specific funding policy.
Keep the balanced structure, but evaluate the policy more directly by comparing social need, fairness, workforce planning and the risk of oversupply.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is organised into clear paragraphs with useful contrast markers. Cohesion is sometimes mechanical, and several sentences within paragraphs jump from one example to another without enough explanation.
Add short linking explanations after examples so the reader can see how each example proves the funding-policy argument.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a good range of topic vocabulary, but several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, including "curriculum", "starved nations", "study material" and "validated similarly".
Replace ambitious but inaccurate words with precise education-policy vocabulary such as "disciplines", "shortage areas", "tuition support" and "equal access".
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences and conditionals are attempted, but errors with participle clauses, noun forms, articles and agreement occur regularly. Meaning is generally clear, but accuracy is uneven.
Simplify long sentences and check that each clause has a clear subject, verb and object before adding conditionals or passive forms.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Modern societies need specialists in certain fields, but not in others. Some people, therefore, think that governments should pay university fees for students who study subjects that are needed by society. Those who choose to study less relevant subjects should not receive government funding. Would the advantages of such an educational policy outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
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