Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of unisexual schools.
Sample Response
Boys school and girls school shoot up very rapidly both in foreign countries and at home. Some prefer to send their kids to a unisexual school and some prefer a co-education institute. Many sociologists and educationalists present their views on this issue from one side or another. However, I believe that both have positive and negative effects.
Some parents prefer to send their children to boys school or girls schools in the hope that their children can concentrate on study and acquire adequate knowledge and skills because unisexual schools can make out appropriate curriculum and courses for students according to their sexual characteristics. Again, many guardians think that their kids might be spoiled by the contact of opposite sex, especially those who are religiously conservative, prefer a unisexual institute. In some girl schools, students have a wider choice of courses such as dancing, music, embroidery and drawing, which can cultivate their feminine elegance and charm. Furthermore, students can devote themselves fully to their study and will not be distracted. Campus love affairs are very common in the current society under the influence of media. Boy schools and girl schools can eradicate contact between different sexes and purify the campus environment.
Of course, some experts point out that boys school and girls school are not beneficial to the adolescent development of students. They believe that boys or girls are likely to develop their abilities and stimulate their imagination when they are studying with the opposite sexes. Besides, students can cultivate their interpersonal skills. Some other people think that separating boys from girls can cause some psychological problems to youngsters. Meanwhile, this separation affects social progress and lead to sexism. Investigation shows that graduates from unisexual schools are not aware how to get along with their colleagues in their career.
To conclude, everything has double folds and unisexual schools are no exception. From my point of view, I think the existence of unisexual schools meets the need of some parents. But it is definitely not a paradise for their children.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use possessive plurals Original: Boys school and girls school Suggested revision: Boys' schools and girls' schools Why it matters: Plural possessive forms correctly describe schools for boys and for girls.
- 2. Use suitable growth phrase Original: shoot up very rapidly Suggested revision: are growing rapidly Why it matters: Shoot up is too informal and needs a finite verb in this sentence.
- 3. Use formal noun Original: their kids Suggested revision: their children Why it matters: Children is more appropriate than kids in a formal academic essay.
- 4. Use standard term Original: a co-education institute Suggested revision: a coeducational institution Why it matters: Coeducational institution is the standard adjective-noun combination.
- 5. Clarify differing views Original: from one side or another Suggested revision: from different perspectives Why it matters: The revision expresses the contrast among viewpoints more naturally.
- 6. Fix school forms Original: boys school or girls schools Suggested revision: boys' schools or girls' schools Why it matters: Both school types require consistent plural possessive forms.
- 7. Use natural collocation Original: concentrate on study Suggested revision: concentrate on their studies Why it matters: Concentrate on their studies is the natural phrase for sustained academic focus.
- 8. Correct curriculum phrase Original: make out appropriate curriculum Suggested revision: design appropriate curricula Why it matters: Design is the correct verb, and curricula agrees with multiple schools and courses.
- 9. Use precise phrasing Original: according to their sexual characteristics Suggested revision: according to sex-specific needs Why it matters: The revision states the intended educational distinction more precisely.
- 10. Repair contact phrase Original: spoiled by the contact of opposite sex Suggested revision: negatively influenced by contact with the opposite sex Why it matters: Contact with is the correct preposition, and the opposite sex requires the article.
- 11. Use possessive plural Original: In some girl schools Suggested revision: In some girls' schools Why it matters: The plural possessive form correctly indicates schools for girls.
- 12. Use plural studies Original: devote themselves fully to their study Suggested revision: devote themselves fully to their studies Why it matters: Studies is the idiomatic plural noun for a student's academic work.
Suggested Rewrites
- Boys school and girls school Boys' schools and girls' schools
- shoot up very rapidly are growing rapidly
- their kids their children
- a co-education institute a coeducational institution
- from one side or another from different perspectives
- boys school or girls schools boys' schools or girls' schools
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay discusses both advantages and disadvantages in a clear structure and supports each side with several relevant ideas. The main weakness is that some claims are stereotyped or asserted rather than carefully explained, while recurring non-idiomatic wording and grammatical errors reduce precision. The highest priority is to develop fewer, stronger arguments with neutral evidence and more accurate sentence construction.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
Both sides are addressed fully enough, with a clear conclusion and several relevant supporting points.
Develop the strongest advantages and disadvantages more critically instead of relying on broad assumptions about gender and behaviour.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are organised into a logical four-paragraph progression with clear movement between the two sides.
Strengthen cohesion within the body paragraphs by grouping closely related claims and avoiding abrupt shifts between examples.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonable range of education-related vocabulary, but frequent awkward collocations reduce naturalness and precision.
Use more idiomatic academic phrasing and replace expressions such as exaggerated growth or campus purification with precise neutral language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are attempted regularly, but errors in articles, possessives, agreement, and clause control occur frequently.
Edit noun phrases and long multi-clause sentences carefully, with particular attention to plural possessives and subject-verb agreement.