Some experts opine that a new language should be introduced for all countries for international communication. Do you think the benefits of introducing a new international language will outweigh the problems?
Sample Response
The idea of introducing a new international language for communication across countries has emerged for a long time. This will bring both problems and benefits. However, I believe that the benefits it may bring will far outweigh the problems.
The proposal raises concerns and has demerits. Language is deeply intertwined with cultural identity, and the imposition of a new global language might be perceived as a threat to linguistic diversity and heritage. Countries may resist relinquishing their native languages, viewing them as integral to their cultural identity. Moreover, the process of implementing a new language on a global scale would be a colossal undertaking, requiring extensive resources and infrastructure, and might encounter resistance from nations reluctant to adopt such changes.
On the contrary, one significant benefit of introducing a new international language is that it would promote better communication and understanding among people of different cultures and countries. For instance, with a common language, people could communicate more effectively without the need for translators, which would be beneficial for businesses, international relations, and even tourism. Additionally, the new language would help individuals learn about different cultures and expand their knowledge, which is crucial in today's interconnected world. Furthermore, introducing a new language for international communication would also provide economic benefits. When people can communicate with ease, businesses can expand globally, leading to increased economic growth and job opportunities. It can also enhance international trade as businesses would be able to communicate and negotiate more efficiently, reducing the cost of transactions and the time needed to reach agreements.
In conclusion, introducing a new international language would undoubtedly bring many advantages, including better communication, improved global economic growth, and increased understanding of different cultures. Although there may be some troubles associated with adopting a new language, the benefits it would provide would far outweigh its difficulties.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix time collocation Original: has emerged for a long time Suggested revision: has existed for a long time Why it matters: Emerge describes an event rather than a state continuing over a long period.
- 2. Use accurate contrast Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: By contrast Why it matters: The paragraph contrasts advantages with drawbacks rather than directly contradicting a preceding statement.
- 3. Fix the reference Original: outweigh its difficulties Suggested revision: outweigh these difficulties Why it matters: These clearly refers back to the challenges, whereas its incorrectly attributes difficulties to the benefits.
- 4. Use conditional framing Original: This will bring Suggested revision: This proposal would bring Why it matters: Would keeps the hypothetical proposal consistent and names the reference clearly.
- 5. Keep modality consistent Original: will far outweigh the problems Suggested revision: would far outweigh the problems Why it matters: Would is consistent with discussing the consequences of a proposed policy.
- 6. Use natural collocation Original: raises concerns and has demerits Suggested revision: raises concerns and has drawbacks Why it matters: Drawbacks is a more natural word for disadvantages in this construction.
- 7. Clarify parallel meaning Original: linguistic diversity and heritage Suggested revision: linguistic diversity and cultural heritage Why it matters: Adding cultural makes the second item more specific and parallel to the identity discussion.
- 8. Improve the collocation Original: expand their knowledge Suggested revision: broaden their knowledge Why it matters: Broaden knowledge is the more natural collocation in this context.
- 9. Use precise wording Original: better communication Suggested revision: more effective communication Why it matters: More effective identifies the intended improvement more precisely.
- 10. Use natural preposition Original: people of different cultures and countries Suggested revision: people from different cultures and countries Why it matters: From naturally expresses people's cultural and national backgrounds.
- 11. Signal the concern shift Suggested revision: Add a transition between the cultural-identity concern and the practical implementation concern. Why it matters: A clear internal shift would distinguish the paragraph's two different types of drawback.
- 12. Separate benefit groups Suggested revision: Divide the communication and cultural benefits from the economic benefits at the point beginning with Furthermore. Why it matters: Two focused paragraphs would make the long benefits section easier to follow.
Suggested Rewrites
- has emerged for a long time has existed for a long time
- On the contrary By contrast
- outweigh its difficulties outweigh these difficulties
- This will bring This proposal would bring
- will far outweigh the problems would far outweigh the problems
- raises concerns and has demerits raises concerns and has drawbacks
Why this response received Band 8.0
The essay gives a clear comparative judgement and develops relevant cultural, practical, communicative, and economic considerations in a logical sequence. Its main limitation is occasional awkward wording and repetition, while some claims about cultural learning could be explained more precisely. The highest-priority improvement is to sharpen the benefit-versus-problem comparison by explicitly showing why the stated gains are greater than the implementation costs and cultural risks.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Response
The question is fully addressed through a clear position and well-developed discussion of both problems and multiple benefits.
Make the evaluation even stronger by directly weighing the scale and duration of the benefits against the identified costs and resistance.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are logically sequenced into a clear introduction, contrasting body sections, and a conclusion that follows naturally from the discussion.
Use more varied internal transitions so the long benefits paragraph feels less like a sequence of similarly introduced points.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a broad and generally precise academic vocabulary, though a few awkward combinations and repeated terms reduce naturalness.
Replace expressions such as has emerged for a long time and some troubles with more idiomatic, context-specific wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are frequent, varied, and well controlled, with only occasional minor awkwardness that does not affect clarity.
Check tense and aspect in introductory statements and streamline long sentences where several clauses compete for emphasis.
Use this task for your next draft
Feedback is more useful when you actively apply it in a draft, rather than only recognising improvements on the page.
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.
The question will be loaded automatically.