The diagram below shows one way of manufacturing ceramic pots
Sample Response
The diagram illustrates the steps by which ceramic pots are manufactured.
In general, the production of ceramic pots involves nine steps, beginning with the collection of raw materials, to the colouring and decoration of the finished product.
Firstly, the raw material required to make the pots is mined from the earth and transported to factories. Once at the factory, the raw material is crushed, mixed with other ingredients, and placed into moulds. Once the material has been moulded to the desired shape it is then dried for approximately 4-6 hours.
Once the pot is dry, it is taken from the mould and placed in an oven and baked at around 1000 degrees Celsius. After the pots have been sufficiently baked, they are dipped in colour to decorate them and again fired (3) in an oven to dry the colour. The pots are then ready for sale or for use.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use plural noun Original: material Suggested revision: materials Why it matters: The diagram shows multiple raw materials, so the noun should be plural.
- 2. Match the diagram Original: transported to factories Suggested revision: transported to a factory Why it matters: The visual depicts the materials being taken to a single factory.
- 3. Remove unsupported detail Original: mixed with other ingredients Suggested revision: mixed Why it matters: The diagram shows a mixing stage but does not show any additional ingredients.
- 4. Add clause comma Original: desired shape it is Suggested revision: desired shape, it is Why it matters: A comma is needed after the introductory dependent clause.
- 5. Clarify clause structure Original: placed in an oven and baked Suggested revision: placed in an oven, where it is baked Why it matters: The relative clause makes the relationship between the oven and baking clearer.
- 6. Delete stray marker Original: (3) Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: This unexplained marker interrupts the sentence and has no grammatical function.
- 7. Describe colour firing Original: dry Suggested revision: fix Why it matters: The diagram labels this as colour firing rather than merely drying.
- 8. Avoid unsupported outcome Original: ready for sale or for use Suggested revision: finished Why it matters: The visual shows finished pots but does not state that they are sold or used.
- 9. Use concise introduction Original: The diagram illustrates the steps by which Suggested revision: The diagram illustrates how Why it matters: This states the process more directly without changing the meaning.
- 10. Keep plural reference Original: the raw material is crushed Suggested revision: the raw materials are crushed Why it matters: A plural reference is consistent with the diagram and the earlier extraction stage.
- 11. Use precise process verb Original: placed Suggested revision: poured Why it matters: Poured describes the diagram's movement of the mixed material into the moulds more precisely.
- 12. Format duration clearly Original: approximately 4-6 hours Suggested revision: approximately four to six hours Why it matters: Writing the short number range in words improves formal readability.
Suggested Rewrites
- material materials
- transported to factories transported to a factory
- mixed with other ingredients mixed
- desired shape it is desired shape, it is
- placed in an oven and baked placed in an oven, where it is baked
- (3) Delete
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response clearly follows the process from extraction to the finished pots and provides an effective overview, with generally controlled language and logical sequencing. Its main weakness is precision: it introduces unsupported other ingredients and could distinguish the two firing stages more explicitly. Prioritise describing only what the diagram shows and highlighting the initial 1000-degree firing and later colour firing as separate stages.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report presents a clear overview and covers nearly all stages in the correct order, but it adds unsupported ingredients and slightly simplifies the process.
Describe only visible inputs and explicitly distinguish the 1000-degree firing from the later colour-firing stage.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically divided and progresses smoothly from raw-material extraction to the finished product, although repeated uses of Once make the sequencing somewhat formulaic.
Vary the stage transitions while keeping each chronological step clearly connected to the next.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is appropriately process-focused, with effective terms such as mined, moulded, baked, and fired, though a few descriptions lack exact visual precision.
Use precise labels from the diagram and avoid unsupported wording such as other ingredients.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of passive and complex structures is used with strong control, despite minor awkwardness in the overview and occasional punctuation issues.
Refine comparative and participle constructions, especially the phrasing beginning with the collection and ending with the finished product.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows one way of manufacturing ceramic pots
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.