The diagrams below give information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies.
Sample Response
The diagramspictures illustrate the ingredients used iningredients that go into a factory-made fish pie, and the stagesvarious steps in its production.
The pie contains salmon, peas, sauce and potatoes, and its manufacture proceeds through a series of stagesthere are ten stages in its manufacture, from delivery to dispatch. One of the ingredients, the potatoes, gopotato, goes through its own six-stage preparation process before it can be added to the pie.
Potatoes are the first ingredient to be prepared on the production line. They are delivered to the factory up to a month before the process begins, and they must be cleaned, peeled and sliced. Potato peelings are thrown away, and the sliced potatoes are boiled, then chilled and stored.
When fresh salmon arrives at the factory, lemon juice and salt are added, and the fish is cooked in a steam oven within 12 hours of delivery. Next, factory workers removeremove and dispose of the skin and bones, and the fish is inspected. Following inspection, prepared peaspre-prepared peas, sauce and potatoes are added. The resulting fish pies are wrapped, frozen and then stored or dispatched.
Why this response received Band 9.0
This is a highly effective response that gives a clear overview and accurately traces both the potato preparation and the main fish-pie production sequence, using precise, natural language and smooth progression. Its main limitation is that the finished pie's microwaveable container is not explicitly identified; the highest-priority refinement is to include that final product detail while preserving the same concise, well-organised coverage.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response provides a clear overview and accurately covers the ingredients, parallel preparation stages, timings, waste removal, and final production steps.
For absolute completeness, explicitly identify the microwaveable container shown in the finished-pie diagram.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses effortlessly from the overview through potato preparation to the salmon line, with cohesive devices used naturally.
Maintain this concise sequencing while making any added final-product detail fit seamlessly into the closing sentence.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is precise, varied, and consistently appropriate for describing an industrial process.
A minor refinement would be to use the plural form in the phrase one of the ingredients, potatoes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used accurately and flexibly, with punctuation and clause control maintained throughout.
Continue checking small number-agreement choices when a singular grammatical frame refers to an ingredient normally named in the plural.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagrams below give information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.