The diagram below shows one way of manufacturing ceramic pots
Sample Response
The picture reveals one of the viable methods of producing ceramic pots
Overall, it can be easily seen that the process comprises of eleven steps.
Looking into the diagram for more details, the process commences when raw materials are dug out of the ground by a machine called digger before being transported by trucks to a factory where the following eight stages will be conducted.
At the factory, the raw materials are crushed twice to become powder. The next step involves mixing the powder with water, then the resulted mixture is poured into moulds to form the shape of ceramic pots. After the moulds are then dried for 4 to 6 hours, they are assembled into clay pots. Afterwards, the clay pots are placed into an oven and heated at the temperature of over 1,000 degrees Celsius. The pots are then coloured before undergoing colour firing to become finished pots.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove incorrect preposition Original: comprises of Suggested revision: comprises Why it matters: The verb 'comprise' takes a direct object without 'of'.
- 2. Add an article Original: machine called digger Suggested revision: machine called a digger Why it matters: The singular countable noun 'digger' needs an article.
- 3. Use natural process language Original: the following eight stages will be conducted Suggested revision: the remaining stages take place Why it matters: Stages in a process take place rather than being conducted.
- 4. Repair clause connection Original: water, then Suggested revision: water, and then Why it matters: The coordinating conjunction clearly links the two sequential clauses.
- 5. Use participial adjective Original: resulted Suggested revision: resulting Why it matters: 'Resulting' correctly describes the mixture produced by the previous step.
- 6. Make wording concise Original: form the shape of ceramic pots Suggested revision: form ceramic pots Why it matters: The moulds form the pots themselves, making 'the shape of' redundant.
- 7. Use correct article Original: the Suggested revision: a Why it matters: An unspecified temperature measurement takes the indefinite article.
- 8. Use neutral wording Original: viable methods Suggested revision: methods Why it matters: 'Viable' adds an unsupported judgement that is unnecessary in a process description.
- 9. Remove empty framing Original: it can be easily seen that Suggested revision: Delete Why it matters: Removing this empty framing makes the overview more direct.
- 10. Use concise transition Original: Looking into the diagram for more details Suggested revision: In detail Why it matters: A concise transition introduces the detailed stages more efficiently.
- 11. Describe excavation precisely Original: the process commences when raw materials are dug out of the ground Suggested revision: the process begins with raw materials being excavated from the ground Why it matters: This wording describes the initial stage more naturally and precisely.
- 12. Use standard transport phrase Original: trucks Suggested revision: truck Why it matters: 'By truck' is the standard generic expression for this mode of transport.
Suggested Rewrites
- comprises of comprises
- machine called digger machine called a digger
- the following eight stages will be conducted the remaining stages take place
- water, then water, and then
- resulted resulting
- form the shape of ceramic pots form ceramic pots
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response gives a clear, logically ordered account and covers virtually every stage from excavation to the finished pots, with appropriate process vocabulary. Its main limitation is that the overview only counts the stages instead of summarising the process's beginning and end, while several grammatical and collocational slips reduce precision. Strengthen the overview and edit constructions such as ‘comprises of’ and ‘resulted mixture’ for a more polished report.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report accurately covers nearly all major stages in sequence, but the overview merely counts them rather than summarising the process from raw material extraction to finished pots.
Write an overview that identifies the starting material, the final product, and the main transformation through shaping and firing.
Coherence and Cohesion
The paragraphing and chronological progression are clear, and linking generally guides the reader smoothly through the process.
Break up the longest stage-description sentence and avoid redundant sequencing such as ‘After ... then’ to make progression more natural.
Lexical Resource
A good range of process vocabulary, including ‘raw materials’, ‘moulds’, and ‘colour firing’, conveys the stages precisely despite a few awkward collocations.
Replace inaccurate forms such as ‘resulted mixture’ with ‘resulting mixture’ and use ‘at a temperature of’ for greater lexical precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex and passive structures successfully, although several article, preposition, and construction errors remain noticeable.
Proofread fixed structures and noun phrases, especially ‘comprises eleven steps’, ‘a digger’, and ‘at a temperature of over 1,000 degrees Celsius’.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows one way of manufacturing ceramic pots
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.