You are organising an executive event for the company you work for. Write a letter to the person in charge of a venue that you are considering for the event. In your letter: - ask about available dates - ask what services the venue provides - ask about the costs
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing this letter to request some information about your conference centre which we are planning to reserve for an important official event on 15th August 2025. To give you some details about the event, we want to rent the conference centre from 5 pm to 10 pm in order to organise an annual award-giving ceremony for our top employees of the year, which will be attended by at least 100 people. During this period, we would also expect you to arrange some refreshments for us such as fresh coffee, fruit juice, and some top quality pastries. And, once we finish the party, we also want you to serve dinner for us. So please give me details of the venue, the menu you would arrange and other facilities that you can offer with the breakdown of the cost. In addition to that, we would also require a high-resolution LCD projector and a Wi-Fi connection facility for our Laptops. Please inform me if you can arrange that for us. Besides, the perfect seating arrangement for all of our 100 staff members is also expected. Finally, we also require facilities for welcome drinks for guests.
Therefore, based on these requirements, please provide a quote for all the prices which you will charge us for all the services we will use. Yours faithfully, Katie Derham
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Remove redundant wording Original: writing this letter Suggested revision: writing Why it matters: The phrase this letter is unnecessary because the context is already clear.
- 2. Use formal date style Original: 15th Suggested revision: 15 Why it matters: The cardinal-number form is the standard date style in formal correspondence.
- 3. Format times consistently Original: from 5 pm to 10 pm Suggested revision: from 5 p.m. to 10 p.m. Why it matters: Using the conventional abbreviated form gives the times a polished formal style.
- 4. Use natural event name Original: annual award-giving ceremony Suggested revision: annual awards ceremony Why it matters: Awards ceremony is the standard term for this type of event.
- 5. Avoid awkward phrasing Original: top employees of the year Suggested revision: top-performing employees Why it matters: Top-performing employees expresses the intended group more naturally and concisely.
- 6. Soften the request Original: would also expect you to arrange Suggested revision: would also like you to provide Why it matters: This wording maintains an appropriately courteous tone when asking about venue services.
- 7. Hyphenate compound modifier Original: top quality pastries Suggested revision: top-quality pastries Why it matters: The compound adjective before pastries should be hyphenated.
- 8. Remove faulty opener Original: And, once Suggested revision: Once Why it matters: The initial conjunction and following comma are unnecessary before the time clause.
- 9. Use consistent event term Original: finish the party Suggested revision: the ceremony ends Why it matters: Ceremony matches the formal event described earlier better than party.
- 10. Use formal transition Original: So please give me Suggested revision: Please provide Why it matters: Removing So makes the request more direct and appropriate for a formal enquiry.
- 11. Use service collocation Original: menu you would arrange Suggested revision: menu you could provide Why it matters: A venue provides a menu rather than arranges one.
- 12. Correct article and number Original: with the breakdown of the cost Suggested revision: together with a breakdown of the costs Why it matters: A breakdown is needed, and costs should be plural because several services are requested.
Suggested Rewrites
- writing this letter writing
- 15th 15
- from 5 pm to 10 pm from 5 p.m. to 10 p.m.
- annual award-giving ceremony annual awards ceremony
- top employees of the year top-performing employees
- would also expect you to arrange would also like you to provide
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response's strongest feature is its detailed specification of catering, equipment, seating, and pricing needs in a suitably formal request. Its main limitation is incomplete fulfilment of the date requirement: it states 15 August but never directly asks whether the venue is available then, while the services list becomes repetitive. The highest-priority improvement is to request date confirmation explicitly and group related service questions more concisely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The letter clearly requests service and cost information with extensive relevant detail, but it does not directly ask whether the proposed date is available.
Add a precise availability question for 15 August 2025 and the requested 5-10 pm time slot.
Coherence and Cohesion
The purpose and requested items are generally easy to follow, but repeated additions such as "also," "besides," and "finally" make the long services paragraph feel list-like.
Group catering, technical equipment, seating, and pricing into separate concise paragraphs or clearly ordered sentences.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate for an event enquiry, but repetitive and awkward phrases such as "Wi-Fi connection facility" and "quote for all the prices" reduce precision.
Use concise professional terms such as "Wi-Fi access," "audio-visual equipment," "catering package," and "itemised quotation."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied sentence structures communicate the requirements clearly, although article, capitalization, clause, and punctuation errors recur.
Revise sentence openings and noun phrases, including "After the ceremony," "laptops," and "a breakdown of the costs."
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are organising an executive event for the company you work for. Write a letter to the person in charge of a venue that you are considering for the event. In your letter:
- ask about available dates
- ask what services the venue provides
- ask about the costs
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.