You normally go shopping in the area where you live. However, you think some of the facilities for shoppers could be improved there. Write a letter to your local newspaper. In your letter: - say in general - what you like about shopping in your area - say what is wrong with the facilities - suggest how they can be improved
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, Your newspaper has a reputation for discussing different issues, related to the development works and improvements in our town. And I sure hope that you would take notice of this particular issue as well and publish it in your newspaper in order to attract the attention of the authority.
The issue is related to the improvement of shopping facilities in the Ferguson area where I like to visit and do shopping. Of course, I do not really have much to complain about the shops in my area since most of them are generally offer affordable prices and carry quality products. I also like the fact that most of these shops are easily accessible from all directions.
However, when it comes to keeping the parking spaces in front of the shops clean and tidy, as well as offering some extra sitting arrangement or resting places for the tired and elderly shoppers, the shops in my area certainly could use some improvements.
Therefore, I suggest that the shops employ enough staff to keep the parking spaces clean while providing some comfortable sitting arrangements also for the elderly shoppers to rest. I hope you will publish an editorial in your newspaper regarding this. Thank you in advance. Yours faithfully, Lydia Olivia
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use natural collocation Original: works Suggested revision: projects Why it matters: Development projects is the more natural term for local improvement activity.
- 2. Remove unnecessary comma Original: issues, related Suggested revision: issues related Why it matters: The comma incorrectly separates the noun from its defining participial phrase.
- 3. Use formal tone Original: And I sure hope Suggested revision: I sincerely hope Why it matters: Sincerely is more suitable than sure in a formal letter to a newspaper.
- 4. Use plural noun Original: attention of the authority Suggested revision: attention of the local authorities Why it matters: Local authorities is the natural plural reference to the responsible public bodies.
- 5. Clarify the issue Original: improvement of shopping facilities Suggested revision: need to improve shopping facilities Why it matters: This wording states the need for change more directly.
- 6. Use shop directly Original: where I like to visit and do shopping Suggested revision: where I like to shop Why it matters: Shop is the natural verb and avoids the awkward combination of visit and do shopping.
- 7. Remove extra verb Original: are generally offer Suggested revision: generally offer Why it matters: The clause needs the lexical verb offer without the extra form of be.
- 8. Use concise facility terms Original: some extra sitting arrangement or resting places Suggested revision: additional seating or rest areas Why it matters: Seating and rest areas are the natural terms for these shopper facilities.
- 9. Remove unnecessary article Original: the tired and elderly shoppers Suggested revision: tired and elderly shoppers Why it matters: The general group does not require the definite article here.
- 10. Fix word order Original: while providing some comfortable sitting arrangements also Suggested revision: while also providing comfortable seating Why it matters: This revision places also naturally and replaces the awkward sitting arrangements.
- 11. Use newspaper collocation Original: discussing Suggested revision: covering Why it matters: Newspapers cover issues, making this the more natural journalistic verb.
- 12. Use direct request Original: take notice of this particular issue as well Suggested revision: consider this issue Why it matters: The shorter phrase makes the request more direct and formal.
Suggested Rewrites
- works projects
- issues, related issues related
- And I sure hope I sincerely hope
- attention of the authority attention of the local authorities
- improvement of shopping facilities need to improve shopping facilities
- where I like to visit and do shopping where I like to shop
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response's strongest feature is its clear, well-organised fulfilment of the task, balancing praise for affordable, accessible shops with specific concerns about dirty parking areas and inadequate seating, followed by practical solutions. Its main limitation is recurring grammatical and collocational awkwardness, especially in long sentences. The highest-priority improvement is to simplify those sentences and use accurate plural and verb forms while retaining the effective paragraph structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The letter clearly explains what is liked, identifies two facility problems, and proposes relevant improvements in an appropriate public-facing tone.
Strengthen the request by specifying which local authority or shop management body should coordinate the cleaning and seating changes.
Coherence and Cohesion
Distinct paragraphs create clear progression from purpose to positive features, problems, solutions, and the request for publication.
Make the opening more direct and split the long problem sentence so each facility issue is immediately clear.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficiently varied for discussing local facilities and improvements, but repeated or unnatural phrases such as "do shopping" and "sitting arrangements" reduce precision.
Use concise expressions such as "shop," "seating," "local authorities," and "maintenance staff."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The message remains clear, but errors in verb forms, articles, punctuation, and sentence structure occur regularly.
Correct forms such as "most shops offer," avoid beginning a formal sentence with "And," and use plural nouns consistently.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You normally go shopping in the area where you live. However, you think some of the facilities for shoppers could be improved there. Write a letter to your local newspaper. In your letter:
- say in general
- what you like about shopping in your area
- say what is wrong with the facilities
- suggest how they can be improved
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.