You celebrated your birthday with some friends last week in a restaurant. It was a great success and you and your friends enjoyed the evening very much. Write a letter to the restaurant. In your letter: - thank the restaurant for the successful evening - mention the food, service and atmosphere - suggest improvements that could make things better
Same question Compare 2 different answersSample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to thank you for the fantastic food and service you offered to us on my birthday that we celebrated at your restaurant. I hope you will offer the praiseworthy service in the future and I must say you have won my heart as a guest. I went to your restaurant on 09 December with a few friends of mine to celebrate my birthday and all of us were very impressed with the overall experience. The food was delicious and well-presented. I must mention the “Chicken Tandoori” dish that was served to us was the star of the evening, cooked to perfection and absolutely mind-blowing. I really enjoyed the live music that was being played - it lightened up the whole ambience. I also liked the “Retro Theme” in the restaurant. We were very pleased with the service; all the staff members were friendly, attentive and served us with a smile. Our waiter also made a few recommendations for drinks, which were good and something we enjoyed. I would like to recommend an improvement - as your restaurant is a non-smoking zone, it would be great if you could have a separate smoking area thus smokers will feel more comfortable. I am sure your customers will like this arrangement. Thank you once again for making my birthday party memorable. My friends and I enjoyed it thoroughly. I will definitely recommend your restaurant to my friends and family. Yours faithfully, Anna Preeti
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix relative structure Original: on my birthday that we celebrated Suggested revision: for the birthday celebration Why it matters: This avoids an awkward relative clause that makes the timing and event relationship unclear.
- 2. Use natural collocation Original: offer the praiseworthy service Suggested revision: maintain this excellent standard of service Why it matters: This phrasing is more natural for expressing hope that the restaurant will continue its good service.
- 3. Use precise wording Original: won my heart as a guest Suggested revision: earned my loyalty as a customer Why it matters: This expresses the intended positive customer response more precisely in a formal letter.
- 4. Add reporting conjunction Original: I must mention the Suggested revision: I must mention that the Why it matters: The conjunction is needed to introduce the clause about the dish being the star of the evening.
- 5. Join clauses correctly Original: being played - it Suggested revision: being played; it Why it matters: A semicolon correctly joins these two closely related independent clauses.
- 6. Use standard capitalization Original: “Retro Theme” Suggested revision: retro theme Why it matters: This common descriptive phrase does not need title capitalization or quotation marks.
- 7. Improve drink description Original: good and something we enjoyed Suggested revision: well chosen and enjoyable Why it matters: This removes vague and repetitive wording while preserving the positive evaluation.
- 8. Use natural phrasing Original: recommend an improvement Suggested revision: suggest one improvement Why it matters: People usually suggest an improvement rather than recommend one in this context.
- 9. Show purpose clearly Original: area thus smokers Suggested revision: area so that smokers Why it matters: The conjunction “so that” correctly introduces the intended result of the proposed change.
- 10. Separate letter sections Suggested revision: Divide the letter into clear paragraphs for the purpose, restaurant experience, suggested improvement, and closing. Why it matters: The single-block format obscures the progression between the letter’s distinct communicative functions.
Suggested Rewrites
- on my birthday that we celebrated for the birthday celebration
- offer the praiseworthy service maintain this excellent standard of service
- won my heart as a guest earned my loyalty as a customer
- I must mention the I must mention that the
- being played - it being played; it
- “Retro Theme” retro theme
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter communicates its appreciative purpose very effectively, covers every requested point with specific and engaging detail, and maintains a suitably courteous tone. Its main limitation is occasional awkward or overemphatic phrasing, alongside a lack of visible paragraphing that makes the response feel denser than necessary. Prioritise natural collocations and separate the occasion, praise, and suggested improvement into clear paragraphs.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is immediately clear, all three bullet points are fully covered, and the praise and suggested improvement are specifically developed.
Make the improvement slightly more tactful and operational by explaining where a separate smoking area could be located.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically from thanks and visit details through food, atmosphere, service, and the recommendation, with clear cohesive links.
Use distinct paragraphs for the opening purpose, positive details, improvement, and closing to make the progression easier to scan.
Lexical Resource
A broad and generally precise vocabulary conveys enthusiastic praise effectively, though a few expressions are slightly overstated or unnatural.
Replace less natural phrases such as “lightened up the whole ambience” with more idiomatic choices such as “created a lively atmosphere.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The letter uses varied complex structures with generally strong control, while a few awkward clauses and punctuation choices reduce precision.
Refine clause boundaries in long sentences, particularly around relative clauses and the recommendation introduced with “thus.”
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You celebrated your birthday with some friends last week in a restaurant. It was a great success and you and your friends enjoyed the evening very much. Write a letter to the restaurant. In your letter:
- thank the restaurant for the successful evening
- mention the food, service and atmosphere
- suggest improvements that could make things better
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.