You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: - give details of your study plans - explain why you want to get a part-time job - suggest how your friend could help you find a job
Sample Response
Dear Josh, Warm greetings from Nepal. I hope you are doing well. I am really happy to know about your promotion recently and wish you very best in your future endeavors. You would be happy to know that I have been accepted to southern Illinois University Edwardsville for the Masters in Marketing Research program. I am excited as well as concerned to take such a big step in my life, especially for the reason of funding. I have very limited funding available from my school - barely enough to stay - and thinking of looking for a part time job. I can earn for my food and other expenses and spend some during good-times when visiting your place. I was hoping if you could inquire in some of the stores nearby for job vacancies at your convenience. I will much appreciate your help and can't wait to see you soon. Warm Regards, Deeuce
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Improve word order Original: your promotion recently Suggested revision: your recent promotion Why it matters: The adjective ‘recent’ should directly modify ‘promotion’.
- 2. Add required article Original: wish you very best Suggested revision: wish you the very best Why it matters: The fixed expression requires the definite article ‘the’.
- 3. Capitalize proper name Original: southern Suggested revision: Southern Why it matters: The first word of the university’s proper name needs a capital letter.
- 4. Add possessive apostrophe Original: Masters Suggested revision: Master's Why it matters: The degree name takes an apostrophe before the final ‘s’.
- 5. Add subject and verb Original: and thinking of looking Suggested revision: and I am thinking of looking Why it matters: The coordinated clause needs its own subject and finite verb.
- 6. Use correct request form Original: hoping Suggested revision: wondering Why it matters: ‘Wondering if’ correctly introduces this polite indirect request.
- 7. Correct preposition Original: in Suggested revision: at Why it matters: Use ‘at’ for making enquiries at particular shops.
- 8. Use polite conditional Original: I will much appreciate Suggested revision: I would greatly appreciate Why it matters: The conditional form and adverb placement make the request grammatically natural.
- 9. Use natural collocation Original: know Suggested revision: hear Why it matters: ‘Hear about’ is the natural expression for receiving news of a promotion.
- 10. Use direct future form Original: You would be happy to know Suggested revision: You'll be happy to know Why it matters: The direct future form sounds more natural in this friendly announcement.
- 11. Refine admission phrase Original: to Suggested revision: into Why it matters: ‘Accepted into’ more precisely expresses admission to a university programme.
- 12. Use precise institution Original: school Suggested revision: university Why it matters: ‘University’ is more precise because the named institution is a university.
Suggested Rewrites
- your promotion recently your recent promotion
- wish you very best wish you the very best
- southern Southern
- Masters Master's
- and thinking of looking and I am thinking of looking
- hoping wondering
Why this response received Band 6.5
The letter maintains a warm, friendly voice and addresses the study plan, financial motivation, and practical request for help with relevant specifics. Development is rather brief and several awkward grammatical and lexical combinations reduce naturalness; the highest priority is to express the funding situation and job request in clearer, fully formed sentences while retaining the effective informal tone.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear, all three bullet points are covered, and the friendly register remains appropriate throughout.
Develop the job preferences and the type of help requested a little further while trimming the less relevant opening detail.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a sensible sequence from personal news to study plans, financial need, and the request, but the single-block presentation limits structural clarity.
Use separate short paragraphs for the study news, the reason for working, and the requested help.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied enough for the purpose, including precise references to funding, expenses, and vacancies, though several combinations sound unnatural.
Use natural phrases such as earn money for food, enjoy myself when visiting, and I would greatly appreciate your help.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The letter shows some effective complex structures, but omissions and incomplete constructions recur despite meaning remaining clear.
Check articles, auxiliary verbs, and sentence completion, especially in the clauses about limited funding and looking for work.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter:
- give details of your study plans
- explain why you want to get a part-time job
- suggest how your friend could help you find a job
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.