You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: - give details of your study plans - explain why you want to get a part-time job - suggest how your friend could help you find a job
Sample Response
Dear David,
How are you doing lately? I hope everything's going well for you. As I told you in the previous letter, I am going to Japan to study next month! I enrolled in a course in Engineering which will last for about 2 years. It is a part-time course so I should have plenty of free time!
Since my course only focuses on theoretical knowledge, I want to look for some real-life experience when I live in Japan. That's the main reason why I want to find a part-time job, aside from my financial concerns. I know you are working as an engineer at the moment so I wonder if there is any internship position available at your company? I think your reference can tremendously help me in finding a suitable job.
Thank you so much for your help and I look forward to meeting you in person soon!
Best wishes,
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Clarify the move Original: going to Japan to study next month Suggested revision: moving to Japan next month to study Why it matters: This wording states the relocation and timing more naturally.
- 2. Add clause comma Original: part-time course so Suggested revision: part-time course, so Why it matters: A comma should separate the two independent clauses joined by 'so'.
- 3. Use precise collocation Original: real-life experience Suggested revision: practical experience Why it matters: 'Practical experience' is the more natural term for workplace learning.
- 4. Clarify simultaneous action Original: when I live in Japan Suggested revision: while I am living in Japan Why it matters: 'While' makes the intended overlap between living and working clearer.
- 5. Separate linked clauses Original: at the moment so Suggested revision: at the moment, so Why it matters: A comma is needed before 'so' when it joins two independent clauses.
- 6. Improve professional phrasing Original: your reference can tremendously help me in finding Suggested revision: a reference from you could greatly help me find Why it matters: This phrasing is more natural and appropriately tentative for a request.
- 7. Add coordinating comma Original: your help and I look Suggested revision: your help, and I look Why it matters: A comma should precede 'and' because it links two independent clauses.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: I enrolled in a course in Engineering which will last for about 2 years. Suggested revision: I have enrolled in a two-year engineering course. Why it matters: The revision is more concise and uses natural capitalization and course phrasing.
Suggested Rewrites
- going to Japan to study next month moving to Japan next month to study
- part-time course so part-time course, so
- real-life experience practical experience
- when I live in Japan while I am living in Japan
- at the moment so at the moment, so
- your reference can tremendously help me in finding a reference from you could greatly help me find
Why this response received Band 8.0
The letter’s strongest feature is its direct, well-developed coverage of the study plans, reasons for seeking work, and the specific help requested from the friend. Its main limitation is that a few combinations, such as the references to real-life experience and financial concerns, sound slightly formal or imprecise for a friendly letter. Refining these collocations while keeping the warm, natural tone would make the response more consistently polished.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is clear, all three bullet points are fully addressed with relevant detail, and the informal tone suits a letter to a friend.
Develop the financial motivation a little more specifically to make the reasons for seeking work equally well illustrated.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter progresses logically from study plans to employment motives and the request for help, with clear paragraphing and natural linking.
Use a slightly wider range of transitions between related reasons to make the second body paragraph even smoother.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, although a few phrases such as "financial concerns" and "tremendously help me in finding" sound somewhat stiff.
Choose more natural informal collocations, such as needing extra income and helping someone find a suitable position.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of simple and complex sentences is used accurately, with only very minor punctuation or phrasing lapses.
Polish comma use around linked clauses and continue varying complex structures without sacrificing accuracy.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter:
- give details of your study plans
- explain why you want to get a part-time job
- suggest how your friend could help you find a job
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.