You have recently visited a museum. Now write a letter to your friend about the museum you have visited. Write a letter to him/ her. In your letter, write: - where you went - what you saw there - how you felt about it

Same question Compare 4 different answers (Band 6–7.5)

Sample Response

Dear Joy, Hope this letter finds you in good spirits and health. As you are aware, I'm currently in Chicago for a month for some professional work. I'm writing this letter to share my experience of visiting the 'Science Museum' in Chicago Downtown, which I thought you would enjoy. The entry fee was $15 but I was lucky to get a free pass from one of my colleagues. This museum is visited by a large number of local citizens and international tourists. The ground floor displays the invention of robots, with many robots on display and details on how they were developed. I learned that theories based on the abacus were further expanded to enhance this technology. The first floor displays extinct animals, skeletons of dinosaurs and the history behind their extermination. This was quite interesting. The second floor has a shop where you can buy books and souvenirs. Kiosks are placed on all floors which provide extensive information about the displayed items. It was a great learning opportunity and a fabulous experience that I'll cherish for a long. I wish you had been with me when I visited the museum. Why don't you write me back about things you've done recently and enjoyed? Warm wishes, Tom

IELTS Writing Correction

  • 1. Use natural greeting Original: in good spirits and health Suggested revision: well and in good spirits Why it matters: This is the more natural collocation in an informal greeting.
  • 2. Avoid repetition Original: for a month for some professional work Suggested revision: for a month on a work assignment Why it matters: The revision removes the repeated preposition and states the reason more concisely.
  • 3. Correct word order Original: Chicago Downtown Suggested revision: downtown Chicago Why it matters: English normally places 'downtown' before a city name in this location phrase.
  • 4. Clarify the reference Original: which I thought you would enjoy Suggested revision: because I thought you would enjoy hearing about it Why it matters: The original relative clause has an unclear antecedent and does not specify what the friend would enjoy.
  • 5. Describe exhibit precisely Original: displays the invention of robots Suggested revision: explores the development of robots Why it matters: A museum floor can present the development of robots, while 'display the invention' is not a natural collocation.
  • 6. Use accurate noun Original: the history behind their extermination Suggested revision: the history of their extinction Why it matters: 'Extinction' refers to a species dying out, whereas 'extermination' implies deliberate killing.
  • 7. Fix clause attachment Original: which Suggested revision: and Why it matters: The revision makes 'kiosks', rather than 'floors', the subject that provides information.
  • 8. Complete time phrase Original: for a long. Suggested revision: for a long time. Why it matters: The duration expression needs the noun 'time' here.
  • 9. Remove unnecessary quotes Original: the 'Science Museum' Suggested revision: the Science Museum Why it matters: Quotation marks are unnecessary around the museum's name in this sentence.
  • 10. Add clause comma Original: $15 but Suggested revision: $15, but Why it matters: A comma is needed before 'but' when it joins two independent clauses.
  • 11. Use natural noun Original: citizens Suggested revision: residents Why it matters: 'Local residents' is the more natural expression for people who live in the area.
  • 12. Refine the phrase Original: on Suggested revision: of Why it matters: 'Details of how' links the information more directly to the development process.

Suggested Rewrites

  • in good spirits and health well and in good spirits
  • for a month for some professional work for a month on a work assignment
  • Chicago Downtown downtown Chicago
  • which I thought you would enjoy because I thought you would enjoy hearing about it
  • displays the invention of robots explores the development of robots
  • the history behind their extermination the history of their extinction
Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.5

The response gives a clear, detailed account of the museum, moves logically through its exhibits, and communicates the writer's positive reaction in an appropriate personal letter. Its main limitation is linguistic precision, as phrases about the invention of robots, animal extermination, and cherishing the experience sound inaccurate or unnatural; the single-block layout also limits readability. Prioritise precise collocations and clearer paragraph divisions.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

8.0
Scoring rule

The letter clearly identifies the museum, describes a substantial range of exhibits, and conveys the writer's positive feelings in a suitable tone.

Next step

Keep every descriptive detail tightly focused on what was seen and why it was memorable.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

7.0
Scoring rule

The floor-by-floor sequence creates clear progression and cohesive referencing is generally effective, but the response lacks paragraph divisions.

Next step

Separate the introduction, exhibit description, and personal reaction into distinct paragraphs.

LR

Lexical Resource

7.0
Scoring rule

The response uses a good range of museum-related vocabulary, though several word choices and collocations are imprecise or unnatural.

Next step

Use precise phrases such as the development of robotics, the causes of extinction, and an experience I will cherish for a long time.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

8.0
Scoring rule

A wide variety of sentence forms is handled with strong control, and the few grammatical or punctuation slips do not impede communication.

Next step

Polish article use and punctuation in longer sentences to make the language consistently accurate.

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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1

You have recently visited a museum. Now write a letter to your friend about the museum you have visited. Write a letter to him/ her. In your letter, write:

- where you went

- what you saw there

- how you felt about it

Your response

Words0
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Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.