You have a pen pal and you are writing your first letter to that pen pal. In your letter: - describe your previous studies and/or work experience - describe your current activities, hobbies and interests - tell your pen pal that you will be visiting him/her
Sample Response
Dear David, I hope you are doing great. I am so excited to be your pen pal and writing my first letter to introduce myself. I hope you will write to me someday as I would like to know more about you. As you already know I live in Manila, the capital of the Philippines and a bayside city on the island of Luzon, which mixes Spanish colonial architecture with modern skyscrapers. It is a lively city with more than 1.8 million population. Regarding my education, I have completed my graduation from the University of Santo Tomas, Manila and my major was Bachelor of Business Administration. I finished my MBA at the University of the East in 2019 and soon after that, I started working for Ayala Corporation - one of the largest holding companies in the Philippines. I am now a senior executive in this company. I was so excited to know that you maintain a blog as I also do it. You can visit my personal blog at www.daniel-francis.wordpress.com. Besides, I am a volunteer for a charity organisation that works for the destitute and less privileged population in our city. I am so surprised that you also like travelling as it is my passion to be able to visit different parts of the world. I would like to thank you for inviting me to the UK. I am sure I will someday visit you and explore this great country. Take care and write me back when time allows you to do so. Warm wishes, Daniel Francis
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Fix parallel structure Original: and writing my first letter Suggested revision: and to write my first letter Why it matters: The coordinated verbs should use matching infinitive forms.
- 2. Make invitation natural Original: write to me someday Suggested revision: write back soon Why it matters: Write back soon sounds more natural when inviting a new pen pal to reply.
- 3. Correct population phrase Original: 1.8 million population Suggested revision: a population of 1.8 million Why it matters: Population figures require the structure a population of followed by the number.
- 4. Clarify the location Original: Tomas, Manila and Suggested revision: Tomas in Manila, and Why it matters: The preposition and comma clearly attach Manila to the university and separate the coordinated clause.
- 5. Correct the collocation Original: completed my graduation from Suggested revision: graduated from Why it matters: Graduated from is the idiomatic expression for completing a degree at an institution.
- 6. Name the degree correctly Original: my major was Bachelor of Business Administration Suggested revision: I earned a Bachelor of Business Administration Why it matters: A Bachelor of Business Administration is a degree rather than the name of a major in this sentence.
- 7. Use standard punctuation Original: Corporation - one Suggested revision: Corporation, one Why it matters: A comma appropriately introduces the following nonessential description of the company.
- 8. Correct the preposition Original: in Suggested revision: at Why it matters: At is the natural preposition when describing employment by a company.
- 9. Use natural wording Original: was so excited to know Suggested revision: was delighted to learn Why it matters: Delighted to learn is a more natural way to react to newly received information.
- 10. Use natural collocation Original: maintain Suggested revision: run Why it matters: Run a blog is the usual collocation for regularly managing and publishing one.
- 11. Fix the comparison Original: as I also do it Suggested revision: and I do too Why it matters: The revised clause naturally expresses that the writer shares the same activity.
- 12. Use a smooth link Original: Besides, I am a volunteer Suggested revision: In addition, I am a volunteer Why it matters: In addition clearly introduces another current activity in a friendly letter.
Suggested Rewrites
- and writing my first letter and to write my first letter
- write to me someday write back soon
- 1.8 million population a population of 1.8 million
- Tomas, Manila and Tomas in Manila, and
- completed my graduation from graduated from
- my major was Bachelor of Business Administration I earned a Bachelor of Business Administration
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter creates a warm, appropriate relationship with the pen pal and develops the writer’s education, employment, volunteering, blogging, and travel interests in useful detail. Its main limitation is the visit: saying it will happen ‘someday’ technically addresses the point but gives the reader no practical sense of when or what is planned. Prioritise adding a tentative visit period and one specific shared activity while tightening less relevant city description.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The informal purpose and all bullet points are covered, but the promised visit is vague and much less developed than the background and interests.
Give a tentative month or season for the UK visit and suggest one activity to do together.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter progresses naturally from introduction and background to current interests and the proposed visit, with generally clear linking.
Use distinct paragraphs for studies and work, current interests, and future visit plans, trimming the extended Manila description.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and suitable for an informal introduction, though several education, population, and hobby collocations are unnatural.
Use natural phrases such as ‘graduated from’, ‘earned an MBA’, ‘has a population of’, and ‘I also write a blog’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of structures is used with generally good control, despite occasional article, preposition, agreement, and clause-boundary errors.
Proofread long sentences containing place descriptions and ensure countable nouns have accurate articles or plural forms.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You have a pen pal and you are writing your first letter to that pen pal. In your letter:
- describe your previous studies and/or work experience
- describe your current activities, hobbies and interests
- tell your pen pal that you will be visiting him/her
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.