You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: - give details of your study plans - explain why you want to get a part-time job - suggest how your friend could help you find a job
Sample Response
Dear Annie, Hope you are doing fine. My departure date for New Zealand is drawing near, and I am busy with last-minute preparations. As you know, I have enrolled at an institute called 'Practical English' in Wellington, for a six-month Advanced course, full-time. It is quite expensive but I am hopeful of improving my English skills, especially pronunciation. To assist in covering the costs of my study, I aim to find a part-time job. Not only are the college fees rather high, but also I know that rental accommodation in the capital city will not be cheap; to say nothing of food and heating expenses! So I would very much like to arrange some temporary employment before I arrive. I was wondering if you could ask around among your friends and colleagues to see if anyone wants a house cleaner, gardener, or nanny for their children. I know you have a wide social network in Wellington which you could canvas for me if you wouldn't mind, I'd be so grateful. I look forward to seeing you soon. Best wishes, Juliana
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Separate the greeting Original: Dear Annie, Hope Suggested revision: Dear Annie, Hope Why it matters: The salutation should be separated from the opening sentence.
- 2. Remove extra comma Original: Wellington, for Suggested revision: Wellington for Why it matters: The comma incorrectly separates the place from the following course phrase.
- 3. Order course modifiers Original: a six-month Advanced course, full-time Suggested revision: a full-time six-month advanced course Why it matters: The modifiers should precede course in a natural order, and advanced is not a proper noun here.
- 4. Use plural studies Original: study Suggested revision: studies Why it matters: Studies naturally refers to the overall course of education.
- 5. Add possessive my Original: especially pronunciation Suggested revision: especially my pronunciation Why it matters: The possessive makes clear that the writer means improving her own pronunciation.
- 6. Name the course Original: It is quite expensive Suggested revision: The course is quite expensive Why it matters: Naming the course removes the vague pronoun reference.
- 7. Use direct verb form Original: I am hopeful of improving Suggested revision: I hope to improve Why it matters: Hope to improve is the more direct and natural construction.
- 8. Use concise purpose Original: To assist in covering Suggested revision: To help cover Why it matters: Help cover expresses the purpose more naturally and concisely.
- 9. Use natural intention Original: aim Suggested revision: plan Why it matters: Plan to find is natural for a concrete intention to seek work.
- 10. Link the consequence Original: So I would very much like Suggested revision: I would therefore like Why it matters: Therefore links the employment plan directly to the preceding financial reasons.
- 11. Match the task wording Original: temporary employment Suggested revision: part-time work Why it matters: Part-time work states the type of employment requested more precisely.
- 12. Use noun phrase Original: before I arrive Suggested revision: before my arrival Why it matters: Before my arrival is a concise and natural time expression.
Suggested Rewrites
- Dear Annie, Hope Dear Annie, Hope
- Wellington, for Wellington for
- a six-month Advanced course, full-time a full-time six-month advanced course
- study studies
- especially pronunciation especially my pronunciation
- It is quite expensive The course is quite expensive
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response’s strongest feature is complete and well-developed task fulfilment: it gives specific course plans, explains several financial reasons for working, and asks the friend to canvass a relevant local network for suitable jobs. Its main limitation is presentation and occasional sentence control, especially the one-block format and final comma splice. Prioritise clear paragraphing and tighter complex sentences while retaining the effective friendly detail.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The letter fully achieves its purpose, develops every bullet point with specific relevant detail, and makes a practical request in an appropriate friendly tone.
As a refinement, mention preferred working hours or availability around the full-time course to help the friend target suitable jobs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas move logically from study plans to financial need and the requested help, but the lack of paragraphing and a run-on near the end weaken presentation.
Separate the study, reasons for working and requested help into three short paragraphs and split the final request from the expression of gratitude.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, including “last-minute preparations,” “rental accommodation,” “temporary employment” and “social network,” with only occasional awkwardness.
Use “canvass” rather than “canvas” and streamline the job examples so the otherwise natural informal register remains consistent.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The letter uses a good range of complex structures with mostly accurate control, though the “not only” construction and final comma splice are noticeable lapses.
Parallel the correlative structure as “Not only are the fees high, but accommodation is also expensive,” and divide the final request into two sentences.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You are going to another country to study. You would like to do a part-time job while you are studying, so you want to ask a friend who lives there for some help. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter:
- give details of your study plans
- explain why you want to get a part-time job
- suggest how your friend could help you find a job
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.