A friend who lives in a different city has invited you to his/her daughter's 8th birthday. However, you can not accept the invitation due to some personal reasons. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: - thank him/her for the invitation - mention why you can not attend the birthday party - offer to meet him/her some other day
Sample Response
Dear Finch, It's so good to hear from you, and thank you so much for taking the trouble to invite me to your daughter’s birthday party which is to be held on the 9th of August, only a few days away from now. I can’t really believe that your daughter is already 8 years old when it actually feels like she was born only a few years ago! Anyway, as much as I'd love to attend the birthday party of your lovely daughter, the truth is I can’t really do it since I've some other commitments for that evening. In fact, I will have to remain busy and occupied during that evening at my work since one of my foreign bosses is coming to audit the financial records of our office, and as a Senior Accountant, I'll have to accompany him for the rest of the evening. So, I'm really sorry that I won’t be able to join you on such a joyous occasion for your family. However, I'd love to visit you all a couple of days later to wish your daughter a special birthday, even though a belated one. Hope to see you soon. Warm wishes, Brian
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Separate the salutation Original: Dear Finch, It's Suggested revision: Dear Finch, It's Why it matters: The greeting should stand on its own line before the message begins.
- 2. Thank directly Original: taking the trouble to invite me Suggested revision: inviting me Why it matters: The shorter phrase sounds warmer and avoids implying that the invitation was a burden.
- 3. Add relative-clause comma Original: birthday party which Suggested revision: birthday party, which Why it matters: The date clause adds non-essential information about an already identified party.
- 4. Remove redundant time phrase Original: a few days away from now Suggested revision: a few days away Why it matters: “Away” already expresses the interval from the present.
- 5. Use formal comparison form Original: feels like she was born Suggested revision: feels as if she was born Why it matters: “As if” forms the comparison more clearly.
- 6. Name attendance clearly Original: I can’t really do it Suggested revision: I won’t be able to attend Why it matters: The replacement states exactly what the writer cannot do.
- 7. Use natural time order Original: during that evening at my work Suggested revision: at work that evening Why it matters: The revised order is the idiomatic way to combine place and time.
- 8. Repair occasion phrase Original: join you on such a joyous occasion for your family Suggested revision: join you for such a joyous family occasion Why it matters: The revised prepositions and noun order make the phrase natural.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: However, I'd love to visit you all a couple of days later to wish your daughter a special birthday, even though a belated one. Suggested revision: However, I’d love to visit you all a couple of days later and give your daughter my belated birthday wishes. Why it matters: The rewrite preserves the proposed visit while expressing the belated wishes naturally.
Suggested Rewrites
- Dear Finch, It's Dear Finch, It's
- taking the trouble to invite me inviting me
- birthday party which birthday party, which
- a few days away from now a few days away
- feels like she was born feels as if she was born
- I can’t really do it I won’t be able to attend
Why this response received Band 8.0
The letter fully addresses the invitation, gives a specific and credible reason for declining, proposes a clear alternative visit, and maintains a warm, personal tone throughout. Its main limitation is some wordiness and slightly awkward phrasing in the work explanation; the highest-priority improvement is to divide the response into short paragraphs and express the unavoidable commitment more concisely.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are fully and warmly developed, with a clear apology, a detailed reason, and a practical offer to visit a few days later.
Refine the alternative plan by suggesting a specific day or asking whether that date would suit the family.
Coherence and Cohesion
The ideas progress naturally from thanks to explanation, apology, and alternative arrangements, although the entire letter is presented as one dense paragraph.
Use separate paragraphs for accepting the invitation graciously, explaining the conflict, and proposing the later visit.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is flexible and appropriate to an informal letter, with only a few wordy or unnatural phrases such as "remain busy and occupied during that evening at my work."
Use concise natural wording, for example "I need to stay late at work to assist with an audit."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence forms is handled accurately, with occasional awkward contractions and clause phrasing that do not affect clarity.
Prefer standard forms such as "I have some other commitments" and streamline long sentences containing several subordinate clauses.
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
A friend who lives in a different city has invited you to his/her daughter's 8th birthday. However, you can not accept the invitation due to some personal reasons. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter:
- thank him/her for the invitation
- mention why you can not attend the birthday party
- offer to meet him/her some other day
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.