You recently travelled by bus from your hometown to a different city and left some valuable items on the bus. Write a letter to the bus company. In your letter: - explain that you left valuable items on the bus - identify the journey on which you left them - tell the company what to do if the items are found
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, Last Friday, I travelled from Cubao Station to Ayala Bus Bay on one of your buses. Unfortunately, I left a bag on the bus and hoping that you would notify me of the whereabouts of the bag so that I can retrieve it. In relation to the journey that I made, I embarked on a bus at the Cubao Station (Bus No. CA234) on 17th April 2021, at around 8:00 in the morning, and took off at Ayala Station. I checked in the bag and declared its contents while checking in. When I realised that I left my bag after a few hours, I have tried to locate the bus at the Ayala Station, but I failed to do so. It is a medium-size black backpack with white straps and a pouch in the front. It has a panda luggage tag that shows my name and contact details. The bag contains some important documents and a 14-inch black Toshiba laptop with a black leather cover. The content of the bag is really important to me and my work and I need those urgently. If you have already found it, kindly call me at 743-9223014 or do send an email at [email address]. I will arrange a pick up with your company. However, if it is possible to be sent via a courier service, it will be a great help. I am ready to bear the delivery charges. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. Your help will be highly appreciated. Yours faithfully, Arlyn Crescini
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Sequence the events clearly Original: When I realised that I left my bag after a few hours Suggested revision: When I realised a few hours later that I had left my bag Why it matters: The past perfect marks the earlier loss, and the time phrase belongs with the later realisation.
- 2. Use simple past Original: I have tried Suggested revision: I tried Why it matters: The search was a completed action at a stated past time.
- 3. Remove station article Original: at the Ayala Station Suggested revision: at Ayala Station Why it matters: This station name is used without the definite article.
- 4. Use compound adjective Original: size Suggested revision: sized Why it matters: The adjective describing the backpack's size takes the '-sized' form.
- 5. Use surface preposition Original: in Suggested revision: on Why it matters: A pouch attached to the front surface is located 'on' it.
- 6. Use concise tag description Original: luggage tag that shows Suggested revision: luggage tag showing Why it matters: The participle describes the information displayed on the tag concisely.
- 7. Use plural contents Original: content Suggested revision: contents Why it matters: Multiple documents and a laptop are collectively referred to as the bag's 'contents'.
- 8. Use formal emphasis Original: really important Suggested revision: essential Why it matters: 'Essential' expresses the items' importance to the writer's work more precisely.
- 9. Use object pronoun Original: those Suggested revision: them Why it matters: The object pronoun 'them' must refer to the plural contents.
- 10. Use direct email request Original: do send an email at Suggested revision: email me at Why it matters: This is the natural concise form for supplying an email contact.
- 11. Clarify collection action Original: arrange a pick up with your company Suggested revision: arrange to collect it from your company Why it matters: This uses the verb 'collect' and makes clear that the writer will retrieve the bag.
- 12. Name the passive subject Original: if it is possible to be sent Suggested revision: if the bag can be sent Why it matters: Naming the bag removes the unclear pronoun and creates a grammatical passive construction.
Suggested Rewrites
- When I realised that I left my bag after a few hours When I realised a few hours later that I had left my bag
- I have tried I tried
- at the Ayala Station at Ayala Station
- size sized
- in on
- luggage tag that shows luggage tag showing
Why this response received Band 7.0
The letter achieves its purpose clearly, identifies the journey and missing bag in useful detail, and gives the company practical contact and delivery options in an appropriately formal tone. Its main weakness is control of sentence structure and tense, while the single-block presentation also weakens readability; prioritise dividing the letter into purposeful paragraphs and revising awkward verb forms and collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The purpose is immediately clear, all three bullet points are fully covered, and the formal tone is consistently appropriate.
Remove or clarify the unlikely detail about checking in the bag so every detail supports a credible request.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the journey to the bag description and requested action, but the letter is presented as one dense block and some linking is mechanical.
Use separate paragraphs for the journey, item description, and requested response to make the progression easier to follow.
Lexical Resource
A good range of specific vocabulary describes the journey, bag, and recovery arrangements, although several collocations are awkward or imprecise.
Prefer natural phrases such as got off the bus, arrange collection, and the contents are important.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The letter uses varied sentence forms, but recurring errors with clause construction, tense, agreement, and conditionals reduce accuracy.
Edit each complex sentence for a complete main clause and maintain consistent past tense when recounting the journey.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You recently travelled by bus from your hometown to a different city and left some valuable items on the bus. Write a letter to the bus company. In your letter:
- explain that you left valuable items on the bus
- identify the journey on which you left them
- tell the company what to do if the items are found
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.