You recently travelled by bus from your hometown to a different city and left some valuable items on the bus. Write a letter to the bus company. In your letter: - explain that you left valuable items on the bus - identify the journey on which you left them - tell the company what to do if the items are found
Sample Response
Dear Sir or Madam, I took one of your buses from Dandenong Station to Melbourne City Centre last Monday at around 9.00 am but unfortunately, left my handbag in it. I am hoping that you would locate my bag and let me fetch it from your office in Melbourne. The bus that I took (number AF45871) last Monday was more than half an hour late. Due to this, the bus was overcrowded than usual. My bag was too heavy to carry and therefore I put it on the top shelf. Regrettably, when I got off the bus, I forgot my bag due to the rush and crowd. This is a red ladies bag with two handles with a pink colour ribbon in front of it. Some important documents, some cash, a notebook and a USB stick were in it. The contents are really important because they are related to work. Therefore, I would really appreciate your update regarding the whereabouts of this bag. Please do not hesitate to contact me on +02-056745777 or email me at [email address]. I will come to your office to pick it personally once you have it. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Shanika Shani
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use a direct request form Original: would Suggested revision: can Why it matters: Can is appropriate for a present request about what the company may be able to do.
- 2. Use natural collection wording Original: let me fetch it Suggested revision: allow me to collect it Why it matters: Collect is the natural formal verb for retrieving lost property from an office.
- 3. Use the comparative form Original: overcrowded than usual Suggested revision: more crowded than usual Why it matters: Than requires the comparative form more crowded.
- 4. Use the correct expression Original: forgot my bag Suggested revision: left my bag behind Why it matters: Left behind accurately describes forgetting an object on the bus.
- 5. Improve the collocation Original: due to the rush and crowd Suggested revision: because of the rush and overcrowding Why it matters: Overcrowding is the natural noun for the crowded conditions described.
- 6. Correct the possessive form Original: a red ladies bag Suggested revision: a red ladies' bag Why it matters: The plural possessive ladies' identifies the type of bag.
- 7. Remove repeated wording Original: with two handles with a pink colour ribbon Suggested revision: with two handles and a pink ribbon Why it matters: Using and avoids the repeated with, while colour is unnecessary before ribbon.
- 8. Request an update naturally Original: your update regarding the whereabouts Suggested revision: an update on the whereabouts Why it matters: An update on is the standard collocation.
- 9. Use the phrasal verb Original: pick it personally Suggested revision: pick it up in person Why it matters: Pick up means collect, while in person expresses personal attendance.
- 10. Name the bus storage area Original: top Suggested revision: overhead Why it matters: Overhead shelf identifies the storage location on a bus more precisely.
- 11. Use a direct request Original: I am hoping that Suggested revision: I hope Why it matters: The simple present is more direct and natural in this formal request.
- 12. Describe the position naturally Original: in front of it Suggested revision: on the front Why it matters: A ribbon is located on the front of a bag rather than in front of it.
Suggested Rewrites
- would can
- let me fetch it allow me to collect it
- overcrowded than usual more crowded than usual
- forgot my bag left my bag behind
- due to the rush and crowd because of the rush and overcrowding
- a red ladies bag a red ladies' bag
Why this response received Band 7.5
The letter has a clear recovery purpose and fully identifies the journey, bag, contents, and preferred collection arrangement, giving the company enough information to act. Its main limitation is presentation: the response is one dense block and contains a few awkward comparisons and collocations. The priority is to divide the journey, item description, and requested action into separate paragraphs while using more natural phrases such as “more crowded than usual” and “collect it in person.”
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All three bullet points are fully developed with precise journey details, a useful description of the valuables, and clear instructions for contact and collection.
State the request to check the bus or lost-property office explicitly so the company’s first required action is unmistakable.
Coherence and Cohesion
The content progresses logically from the journey to the loss, bag description, and collection plan, but the single-block format weakens information grouping.
Use separate paragraphs for identifying the journey, describing the bag and contents, and explaining the requested response.
Lexical Resource
The letter uses a good range of specific travel, item, and collection vocabulary, although several collocations are awkward.
Use natural forms such as “more crowded than usual,” “a red women’s handbag,” “an update on its whereabouts,” and “collect it in person.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex sentences is mostly controlled, with minor errors in comparison structures, modality, punctuation, and noun forms.
Review comparative forms and relative clauses, and use “I hope you can locate” rather than the less natural “I am hoping that you would locate.”
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IELTS General Training Writing Task 1
You recently travelled by bus from your hometown to a different city and left some valuable items on the bus. Write a letter to the bus company. In your letter:
- explain that you left valuable items on the bus
- identify the journey on which you left them
- tell the company what to do if the items are found
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.